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so i recently left my religion and ever since then, i've realised that the only reason religion exists is so people can enjoy life. to me, religion puts people in a safe net, allowing them to be happy and enjoy life because it adds meaning to it. they're living a lie, and are missing the harsh realities of life; i.e, we're on this planet for an unknown reason and we don't know our purpose.
i'm stuck on this thought. i'm incredibly unhappy and i've tried to force myself into believing in god but i can't. i always regret leaving my region because i was happy, even if i was believing in something blindly.
i'm so miserable and life seems pointless at this point. the funny thing is that i WANT to enjoy my high school years and i WANT to be happy. i want to die but i want to live at the same time. i cry every minute and i feel emotionally numb and i don't want to continue living anymore.
i get p****d off seeing people having kids because i'm thinking why are these people having kids when they're just gonna grow up miserable when they find out what life really is?
i don't know what to do and i don't know if i'm depressed.
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