Dont want sex anymore

Posted , 6 users are following.

Since going throught the menapause and finding it uncomfortable  to say the least, tried vagifem for dryness, it helped but had to stop taking it due to vaginal bleeding.

Thing is i really wouldnt care if i never had sex again, not interested and dont want to know, who would when it hurts all the time ! have a slight prolapse but dr. says nothing severe enough for surgery. Causing problems in relationship with hubby, any suggestions please, even if its to read im not on my own hear. also i have M.E. and aching legs, worse when laying down.

 

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    susan my sympathy is with you, we woman should really be helped so much more than we are via our doctors ..
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  • Posted

    You are not on your own we are all In a mess one way or another and not enough support. Really need to push for help in surgeries and chemists to get womens and men's fears and problems talked about mire. I've learnt more on here than anywhere else and most if it is do it yourself. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Susan. I'm 48 and I started experiencing painful sex about 10 years ago. Overnight, my vagina felt like sandpaper. That's the only way I can describe it. I had loads of tests done, for thrush\chlymidia, but all tests negative. Doc couldn't explain it and I just accepted it and dealt with it as best I could but now realise that it was probably my first peri symptom, even though I was only 37 at the time. Hubby has been understanding and despite it, we've managed to conceive 2 kids, but it has upset him to see how painful it sometimes is for me. Like you say, you don't feel like it often because why would you want to do something you know will hurt? About a year ago, I googled lubricant creams and gels and found this product called 'yes, yes, yes' (yes, really!). I ordered the water based one and found it was quite pleasant to use. I would say it did make me feel more aroused. I haven't used it for a while because we seem to have found a new rythmn to our sex life but I would recommend it. Having said that, there are other options to increasing libido and vaginal dryness. I think JayneeJay on here recommends a particular product for libido. I think she recommends something called ovules as well (Premeno ovules) but check with her. She's a font of knowledge on that sort of thing.

    Like you, Susan, there was also a time when I went right off sex and I felt like I didn't care if I never had sex again but I wanted to have a healthy married life and so pushed through it. I realised that I still enjoy being desired by my husband. It makes me feel alive and I've decided I would miss it if I didn't have it. Don't get me wrong, my husband would say we don't have sex nearly as much as he would like (and when we do, it's often not penetrative because it is still uncomfortable sometimes) but it is still a part of our lives. Long may it continue.

    Hope sharing my experience has helped x

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    • Posted

      Hi Lara and Susan,

      i can totally relate to what you're both saying. I'm 52 and in the perimenopause, my libido is dropping like a stone! this is a problem as my hubby is ten years younger than me. Like Lara I need to be desired it's really important to me so I'm keen to keep our sex life going, according to some sites if you don't use it you lose it! . I've just seen a product called 'replens' I think it's an American product which gets very good reviews, I may give that a go. I also think it helps to talk with our partners. Finally a word of advice from my mum who's been here, she told me there's more than one way of skinning a cat! 

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    • Posted

      Hi  kerry, well im still desired by hubby  but it doesnt make any difference to me at all, theres lack of desire and lack of desire and pain, the two together dont make one exactly in the mood. even if it didnt hurt i still dont think ill be up for it. will try replens though  thanks

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