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Down days

Posted , 5 users are following.

kelly45731
kelly45731

At the end of the last year i suffered from a severe anxiety attack brought on by a new relationship.. I had everything in control, my job, money, health. The three months detroyed me and i found myself doing things i wouldnt do, i stopped taking care of myself and looked terrible.. personal hygiene went out the window. Any i diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Im slightly better but still feel lost, the relaitionship broke down and he is now back with his ex. It really hurts i just feel like thats the only impression he will have of me. All ym friends and fasmily say things will be ok and to move forward but some days i really struggle i feel embrassed and pathetic,  and fustrated that i kinda have to start again. It made me look back on my life and feel im a bit of a loser. I just want to know what everyone elses experience is in recovery im struggling to find the strength to be the person i was i get blips of the old me and then its like a flash of the way i was over the last couple of months which rip me apart... i really feel i dont have the strength to make a go of my life its just such a fustrating disorder to have and it upsets me terribly 

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • sally2710
    sally2710 kelly45731

    Posted

    I have suffered with health anxiety for around 3 yrs now i fought it and thought I had won but the past 3 weeks have been terrible. I really feel for u. I have work in 4 hrs and atm i feel like i cannot breath that i am about to have a heart attack. This has destroyed my life and me as a person 😯😯😯
  • jon03399
    jon03399 kelly45731

    Posted

    I know what your going through inbox me if you ever need a chat smile
  • MaDexter
    MaDexter kelly45731

    Posted

    Look at your second sentence. " I had everything in control, my job, money, health."  Those aren't the words of a loser, you obviously weren't one and you aren't now.  You are just having a rough time at the moment.  I suspect the relationship and you  broke down because he wanted to go back to his ex; it has left you with low self esteem which makes it harder to climb out of that black hole you've found yourself in.  Have you read Women who Love too much?  Try getting it from the library and see if any of it makes sense.  Try to find ways of occupying your time, do a bit of exercise and take each day one day at a time xx
    • kelly45731
      kelly45731 MaDexter

      Posted

      Thanks very much very inspiring.. Its just hard you know? My heads tell oh your just behaving silly over nothing, but at the same time im still so shocked at how i feel and how down my self esteem is .. but i guess ive got to chug on! x
    • MaDexter
      MaDexter kelly45731

      Posted

      I do know how hard it is.  25 years ago I left a violent relationship 7 weeks into a pregnancy and with a traumatised 4 year old.  My stepdad died shortly afterwards and I had to give up my job where I had just got promotion because I couldn't afford childcare for 2 children.  Everytime my ex saw my car, he would smash things on it or if he saw me he would threaten me.  I couldn't believe I'd allowed myself to get into that position as an intelligent, professional person and I lost all ablility to make decisions as I was so full of self doubt.  Now, looking back, I cannot believe I was that person.  I had to take one day at a time, explore the reasons that I let someone rob me of my self-esteem,  force myself to go out and trust people again.  I've been with my current husband 22 years now, we've had another child and people who didn't know me back then are so surprised at my history.  Honestly, it really does get better and there is a lot of truth in the adage, what doesn't break you makes you stronger. Good luck xx
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