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I've suffered from depression since the age of 17. Over the years I have been on Citalopram, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine. I have had various therapy & counselling which was not helpful at all. I have coped relatively well with my depression although I have had some terrible relapses & anxiety that prevented me from working for a while & one (clearly unsucessful) suicide attempt. I never want to go back to feeling like there is no way out but over the past year every single aspect of my life has started to fall apart.
I'm stuck in a job I despise that doesn't pay enough for me to live off, I am doing nothing but applying for other jobs & getting nowhere.
Trying to stay on top of my finances is another stress. I don't have friends. I find it hard to maintain relationships - I don't know if it's just me or people are just complete arseholes. I just hate myself, I hate being me I hate my apperance. I'm doing my best to better all of these things but it's getting too much.
I feel like I have no purpose, no reason to still exist other than for my family. I'm just at a complete loss, feel like I'm drowning & don't have much fight left in me. I'm only 24 & don't want to give up on myself but each day is getting harder.
Sorry this is so long, once I started I couldn't stop.
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