Posted , 6 users are following.
My partner of 10 years left me last December saying that I'm too insecure (co-dependent). I had committed to getting therapy and invited him to come to the sessions to support me but he refused. He ended it and cut off all communication with me cold turkey. This sent my body and brain into shock. I feel like a drug addict going through withdrawal symptoms. This is the person I was accustomed to for a decade. We had our own routine and everything. We did everything and went everywhere together. August 30th will be 8 months post-breakup and I still feel absolutely horrible. The pain is just so hard to bear. I have vivid memories and intense nostalgia of when we were happy. I am still in love with him and miss him terribly. I have been trying to work on myself...changed jobs, started charity work, currently in therapy, self help on youtube, about to start yoga, got in touch with my spiritual side, meditation. They only help temporarily but the lingering pain is always there. I can't get him out my mind. I'm just hopelessly attached. I need to feel better. I need to stop crying. It's unbearable. I need help. Any suggestions? Anyone ever went through this?
1 like, 9 replies
farah41194
Posted
I should mention that I feel extremely unworthy. Like I had no value to him. I am also extremely afraid to see him with someone else. I am even considering migrating from this small town where I can easily bump into him.
nash3222 farah41194
Posted
Farah
Sorry to hear about your loss. Yes I know what you mean about being in a routine with someone, those simple pleasures and familiarity mean a lot. I lost my spouse 2 years ago and miss her every day. Life is hard, life just sucks sometimes. One day at a time is all we can do sometimes. I feel your pain, I am sorry for you.
farah41194 nash3222
Posted
I want to thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I have been feeling so alone lately but you reaching out to me actually helped. I am so sorry for your loss as well. I guess this grief is the proof that we loved to the fullest extent of our hearts. I definitely miss the familiarity. I crave for the old routine we had. I thought our history and foundation would propel us through the hard times but he simply was not willing. He threw in the towel and left me fighting alone. I have spiraled. I have suffered. I have experienced the truest, rawest sadness. I have hit rock bottom. One day at a time from here...
nash3222 farah41194
Posted
'hit rock bottom" I know exactly what you mean, I have been doing this for almost 2 years. When you hit rock bottom, you will bounce back, but the thing is about grief---you will likely test and hit rock bottom again and again--that's the nature of grief. Sharing with someone that has been there etc, helps. It's good to know your not alone.
farah41194 nash3222
Posted
Yes exactly. There were times when I thought I was healing...only to fall right back down again. This has been a terrible weekend. Cried my heart out. So much pain. Have you ever used anti depressants? I'm scared of the side effects.
sue22623 farah41194
Posted
hi, i have been following your posts and i am so sad for you. like you and so many other people i have been there and it really is a horrible exsistance. you feel so very alone even when you are with other people. i used to look back all the time and did this for a very long time. you are broken hearted and only time will heal your wounds. i drank, made it worse but i did go on anti depressants. it rook a good month plus to get into my system but i did start to feel half human again. they dont always work and sometimes you feel worse before you feel better. i used to get days where i never wanted to get out of bed, see anyone just was a very unhappy hermit! What i have finally learnt is that you cant change anything and that you also can not make anyone love you. hard to accept but true.
since that bad experience of getting divorced i suffered from anexiety and also have an eating disorder at least last 20 years. i am seeking help through private therapy. tried so many times before but this one person has given me my life back i speak to him weekly as live a long way away, just dont know what i would have done as i have just excisted not lived for so many years. dont be like me and dont be scared or afraid to ask anyone for help because you are not alone. i am into crystals and always talk to my angels and that to helps so much. (for me anyway) i want to wish you all the love and light in the world and hoping one day soon you will be able to start a new chapter in your life x
wayne1962 farah41194
Posted
Hi farah41194 - you are grieving and it will take as long as it takes. Meanwhile - look at you! All those things you've done to change things - that takes real character when you are in the midst of all that pain. One day at a time. Eventually you will emerge. stronger, more resilient and much wiser.
MissNC farah41194
Posted
HI FARAH
YOU ARE NOT ALONE MY PARTNER OF 2 years ended our relationship 2 weeks ago from no where
i had to move out quicky i have only cried with so much pain when my father died christmas day lucky i have beautful family and friends but i love him still he was my furture and his son i feel scared because i am 50 and see no future i also gave up my job i am now on anti depressants but just started taking them its so hard and i cling on to that he will miss me and i am doing the 30 day no contact you just have to take every day slowly and i do feel your pain time is a healer and like you seeking a new job you are not alone please take care xx
aaron20338 farah41194
Posted
hi life can be very hard but you cant let it get to you have you tryed hynossis app it helped me and it puts thoughts in your mind
hope you be ok
aaron
Join this discussion or start a new one?
New discussion Reply