Early Menopause - body changes

Posted , 7 users are following.

I am 44 and have been recently been told I am menopausal (not officially for a year of no periods) and I am feeling quite overwhelmed by everything that is shifting about.

For the past year I was having what I now know were premenopausal symptoms - not feeling rested after sleep, anxiety levels through the rood for no particular reason, skin changes (dry, wrinkles, reactive, greasy then not etc) Feeling hot and heat and redness in my face, not typical hot flushes with sweat.  Intermittant dry eye and feeling hot then cold.

All of these things have calmed down for the moment and I have missed my first period and it feels very strange.  I have never missed a period and never been pregnant. 

I have felt weak in my muscles at times and overwhelming tiredness, then it will go away, I do feel a bit flat/depressed as well, I was not ready for this change and haven't had children, so I think it's taking me a while to accept.  I haven't much of an appetite because of the stress of this news.

The thing I am most upset about right now is that my breasts have changed, I have read that this happens, the fibrous tissue turns to fat (along with everything else as far as I know sad ).  They are completely soft and feel smaller because of it - I have tried to just go with the flow of all this, but really, this seems so unfair and a change I wasn't really expecting.  Gradual yes, but maybe I didn't notice before - my breasts were feeling bigger no so long ago, with my cycles - do they just stop feeling 'alive' when the cycles stop?!

I feel like an adolescent asking all this - but really I had no idea about all the areas of the body that change.  I only heard it was hot flashes and changing periods - neither of which I have had.

Feeling really upset and quite annoyed - but I can't change it.

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  • Posted

    Bless your heart. Many of us understand your frustrated with the many changes happening to you.

    I could have wrote your exact letter, little over one year ago. Thank God for this wonderful forum and the incredible women you meet here.

    Big hugs of comfort to you, it's OK to be a bit angry with some of these surprising changes.It will get better. ;-)

    Annie xx

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply - my GP mentioned 'ovarian failure' and I just wonder whether hormones were dropping all last year despite having cycles, which were not 'real' periods from ovulating. That my ovaries were struggling.   He said my levels suggest I have been in menopause for a while (?) I think it's partly this that has thrown me - everything coming at once and being told it's done with.  Awful - I imagine a bit like someone having a hysterectomy.

      I have been offered HRT but I am not keen, things have calmed down since I missed my period, and I certainly don't want to go through this all over again.

      Thank you for the support it will get better - I am trying very hard to get that into my head smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Beetle 

    I'm so sorry to hear you suffering. Things will get better just hang in there. Yes it is hard durring menopause but just think we don't have to deal with the messy periods. 

    Keep a smile on your face and say to yourself things will get better I'm just going through the change in time

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  • Posted

    Beetle, hang on, I am sure things will get better sooner or later.  I improved greatly since this thing started - I feel better and look better, without HRT. I bet the same will happen to you, sooner or latter.

    About babies, my dear, at 44 you likely would not be able to have one, even if you were not menopausal, sorry to say sad.  At around 35, even without symptoms, we are PERI and oureggs dramatically decrease in quantity and quality.  At 40 we have terrible eggs and there is a HUGE chance of miscarriege.  Doctors should make it very clear to all of us.  But you can always adopt, or find a way around.  

    sympathetic hugs

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    • Posted

      Thank you - I realise that the time of having a child had passed but it really hit home.  circumstances didn't go my way when I was ready in my early 30's and then close to 40 I lost my mother and my relationship went into a bad patch...........all in all I feel a bit upset that I am now dealing with early menopause and feel even more different than my friends.

      Thanks for the positive thoughts on things getting better smile

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    • Posted

      Believe me, I know how you feel. But do not get depressed - when we figure we can not have something, we get even more interested in it, so do no create monster for you to battle. Life is short, let's be happy.  Big hugs.
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  • Posted

    You poor thing. I too have been recently diagnosed and was also shocked to realise all these other horrible symptoms are part of the menopause. My biggest thing has been the ridiculous level of anxiety. I have been advised to start on HRT and am having a Mirena cool fitted today but I'm having second thoughts as I've had a couple of 'good' weeks. Really unsure what to do now. I know it seems overwhelming right now but hang in there. This site is great for support and its God to know you're not alone in all this. Just try to see it as another season of life.

    Take care and be kind to yourself

    Anita x

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    • Posted

      Hi Anita,

      My biggest problem is also ridiculous amounts of anxiety 😢 just wondered if you have found anything to help with it ? I take magnesium and B12 plus an iron liquid.  Any other advice would be most welcome.

      thank you Debbie x

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    • Posted

      Hi Debbie

      its really tough isnt it. I take the SSRI Citalopram which helps but I have done for some years. I know some people are really down on anti depressants but they definitely gave me my life back a few years ago. When the anxiety hit 3 months ago it was like skmething I'd never experienced and I became really desperate. Along with the ridiculous bleeding and stress of work that was enough to send me into a complete meltdown. I have been off work for 3 months and am just this week starting a very phased return. I have managed this through counselling, good friends to talk to, this site, relaxation exercises daily and a course in mindfulness. As I said I am now considering HRT. I got so desperate I would have tried anything! Ive been a lot more settled in the last couple of weeks but im also aware this could be because of where I am in my cycle so im not holding my breath or getting unrealistically optimistic. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you. I hope you find ways to cope... the relaxation and breathing exercises are well worth doing every day though.

      take care, Anita x

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    • Posted

      Hi Anita,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I was offered SSRI's but at the time declined . . Then had a death in the family and completely lost it 😢 I asked for Valium to help calm me down, I still have a few and take them on very rare occassions ! They are very good, I think like you say it's whatever works for you. I wonder do you know once you've reached menopause if it goes/ gets better ? I really hope so.

      Hugs to you x

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    • Posted

      I should imagine it will if its related to your hormones. Ive always suffered with anxiety which has been exacerbated by my hormones so I think I will always have that in my nature. I am learning to cope much better though by using the CBT techniques and relaxation.

      Good luck and write any time... I know sometimes just sharing can be the best medicine x

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    • Posted

      I so hope your right 🙏 are the CBT techniques easy ? I had a few CBT sessions but didn't find it very helpful to be honest ? Basically just told me to face my anxieties ?? Didn't give me any techniques . . .

      So kind of you to say write any time ! It really does help sharing your right xx

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    • Posted

      Are you in the uk Debbie? If you are you can access some greathelp through your local wellbeing service. If you type IAPT into your search engine it will give you a local contact number. You can self refer. Thats how im doing the mindfulness course and l also did a very useful stress reduction course through them too. CBT helps me to question and reframe my unhelpful thoughts. Theres also a really good companion for anxiety management on this patient.info website.

      and yes I do mean write any time. You can private message me if you like too.

      Anita,

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    • Posted

      Hi Anita,

      Yes I am in the UK, thank you very much for this helpful advice I will look into  it. 

      Very kind of of you to give me this info, and like wise PM me any time you like.  Sending you lots of positive thoughts x Debbie x

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    • Posted

      Thank you - I hope your day went ok and that it helps you balance.  It really is overwhelming.  It's hit me at a time in my life where I needed a change and a new chapter - I didn't reckon on it being a nightmare!  wink
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