Early Onset Menopause?

Posted , 7 users are following.

My wife is convinced that she is experiencing menopause. She is 41 years old. She complains of feeling very hot, both inside and out (difficult to describe). She has lost all interest in sex, and she seems to get tired and sleepy very easily. I've urged her to make an appointment for a checkup, but she's always been the type that never goes to the hospital unless she's dying. Is anyone here experiencing this? Do the symptoms sound familiar? Is there anything I can do, short of dragging her to the doctor's office? 

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi phillip. It's great that you are concerned about your wife. There could be many reasons for your wife's symptoms but going to see the Gp is a good start. You don't have to be dying to see them. Here quality of life (and your) could be greatly improved with a chat.

    I'm 42 and started with symptoms last year, they are very unpleasant and I feel shocking most days. Starting HRT soon and hoping for Improvement.

    Good luck

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  • Posted

    Drag her to the doctor's office! She's going through perimenopause. She also needs vitamin D3, vitamin c, magnesium and calcium to name a few. If anything going to the doctor, he/she can give her something (cream) to bring back her libido. There are many alternatives to helping this change, like HRT, BHRT or low dose birth control pills but she needs to go to a doctor to get the help. Hope this helps. 

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  • Posted

    I am another one that can't be dragged into the doctors office...it just brings me huge stress and anxiety thinking about it.  Most of us know intuitively what our problem is if we learn to listen to our bodies.  (those of us who don't use doctors are usually very intuned to our bodies)

    I know when to go to the doctors...last time was 18 years ago in fact, and I needed surgery. lol!

    Her symptoms sound familiar, and not really early.  I started with various symptoms at 40...skipped a couple of years of symptoms after that, and went head on into chaos with them in about 2012 again, skipped a couple more years and 2016 was flooded with more chaos!  I can only hope this ends soon.  I'm 47 now.

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  • Posted

    Sounds completely normal! She may not need a doctor, but perhaps one can help. More importantly, I would encourage you to let her know how you feel. A healthy sexual relationship is important to many! I also lost interested in sex around 40, but after clarifying with my husband that sex is not only for mornings, things got better. We just needed to understand eachother.

    As far as menopause, she certainly could be starting. I never saw a doctor for menopause, but only because I didn't have any problems. I'm 57 and somehow was one of the lucky ones.

    Guess what I'm saying is that menopause may not have anything to do with her sex drive.

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    • Posted

      Since posting this, I confronted my wife and had a serious discussion with her about sex. I complained because she's basically been recoiling from me as if I were a snake every time I even try to touch her. She finally admitted that she's been avoiding all physical contact in order to prevent giving me any false hope about having sex. I told her that if our sex life is over, that's not the end of the world, but I still require kissing, hugging and touching from time to time. I also reassured her that I would never pressure her into doing anything she didn't want to do. It stinks that I still have my libido intact, but my marriage is important enough to go without sex. I guess this is just life, now. 

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    • Posted

      Hi there, sorry  but this post made me laugh. Maybe because I recall my s.o making suggestions for me to see the doctor, and I recall telling him, doctor say's there's no hope, LOL.  I'm way too smart for him now that I see that in hindsight.  But in my case it was never severe, nor did I have the same issues your wife is having. Mine were a little different, minor in comparison to what other women discuss here. But also coming from a medical research/nurse background didn't dissuade me from using my logical brain to reprogram my thought process.  With this said, some of my symptoms only lasted a day, at most a week with the exception of driving. That took about 2 months, where I just didn't drive, I was being driven around, but eventually I was forced to drive due to peer pressure from my bff, and my s.o. needing me to help him with his business.  

      But don't despair there maybe hope afterall,  as vitamin c or maca could possibly help. I have not tried this but I know from medical reports and women here also validating the same statistics that these 2 work.  I suggest the maca first, since it's been proven to increase sexual desire and it will help with hormone balancing.  Buy her a bottle of it, and wait about a 2-3 weeks maybe even sooner if she's a healthy eater. Best of Luck. 

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    • Posted

      It could change...don't be surprised if she reaches out for you. I get the hugging, kissing part. We all need that! Sometimes that turns into more...good luck. You sound like a good man!

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    • Posted

      Oh well, we've had 17 years of great sex. Might just be time to accept getting older. It's not so bad, to be honest. Kind of  a relief that our hormones are no longer raging out of control. 

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    • Posted

      Did you read the part about getting her Maca? I hope you take my suggestion if you want your love life back. It's been medically proven to increase sex life and balance hormones which is what I believe you're looking for, if not then wait for about 4-6 years before her hormones balance out. Good luck. 

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  • Posted

    The doctor is a good place to start. Mine sent me for blood work to see exactly where I was in menapause. I was experiencing low lobido hot flashes couldn't sleep more then an hour at a time achy muscles and joints. Since being diagnosed I treated certain thing with meds and vitamins and changed my diet. , I've had to become more active as weight gain is another onset of menapause I've experienced and it's true it's difficult to get rid of what ive gained. My husband has been very supportive with all of this because we're constantly communicating about what I'm going through. If we didn't communicate we'd be divorced by now hahaha. This is just another period of time in my life I am or we women must go through. In my culture there are four times in our lives we celebrate birth, puberty, marriage and death. Menapause is just another experience in between puberty and death. All though it differs for each women. Some it lasts a short time for others it may take a few years. But this too shall pass. I hope this helps you a bit. 

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