Early peri menopausal could use advice!
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi all
I would welcome any advice from your ladies. This is my first time posting int his forum. I just went 40 in October last year and had been suffering from severe anxiety since February last year (not the first time) and was put on Citalopram. After the anxiety started dying down and I paid attention to my body I realised my periods had changed dramatically, swinging from happening every 16 days for a few months to then 5 or 6 weekly for a few months and then back again. During a routine visit to my GP we talked about this and I mentioned my mother had gone through the menopause by the time she was 43 and she agreed with me that I was probably entering into the menopause (being peri menopausal).
I have some terrible symptoms such as flatulance, really painful bloating, sweats during the night etc but my main issue really is the mood swings. Especially during the months when I'm having a period every 16 days like now I really struggle. It seems like I'm Jekyll and Hyde from week to week. The usual PMT issues which I've always had, tearful, angry, depressed, anxiety etc but what is really disturbing me the most is that for the last 9 months it's not just the moods but my whole attitude to my life changes. This includes thinking badly of my oldest child and my husband, the oldest being 20 years old. I have (in my head) left my husband many times, I feel my heart sink when he comes home from work, I'm imagining all sorts of things about him, he doesn't care etc etc and I'm terrified I'm going to do something stupid like leave him and regret it. The strength of these feelings are overpowering. The thing is I KNOW I love him and he's a good man and treats me well. We get on just fine when I don't feel like this and I know I'm bloody hard work at the moment. I have tried talking to him about all of this but bless him he's not exactly the most empathetic of people and I feel it goes in one ear and out the other. When I do feel bad I'm telling him things like he isn't making enough time for me, that I can't carry on with this feeling the way I do and the next week I feel different.
Is there any way to feel better about this? I'm usually such a self confident, happy person, grateful for what I have etc but this is ruining my life. Sorry for the over dramatics but that's how I feel. Advice would be really appreciated.
Louise xxx
2 likes, 20 replies
deborah46874 louise1974
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lisa215 louise1974
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I totally get where you are coming from. I too started having peri symptoms in my very early 40s. I'm 44 now and I sometimes genuinely think my life is over. I too have a loving partner but I find myself feeling very like you and wanting to walk away from him and feel very unloving towards him to the point where I sometimes cant be in the same room as him and him trying in his own way to 'help' just makes me feel even more hostile towards him.
He doesn't really understand, as a man how can he to be honest and I find myself trying to talk to him about the tiredness and the other horrid symptoms and his answer is ' eat better and get more exercise'. Easy for him. Impossible when your energy level is on the floor!
I'm not sure I can offer much in the way of advice about how to feel better cos I'm still searching myself but what I can do is say you're not alone and I hope in some way that helps you feel less isolated.
All we can do is keep plodding through the mass of physical and emotional symptoms and try to find the light at the end.
Much love, Lisa xx
louise1974 lisa215
Posted
Thanks so much for replying, I really appreciate it. So nice to know I'm not on my own. I can't really talk to anyone about this as my friends are all the same age and not in the same situation hormonally.
I forgot to mention that I have really gone off sex. My husband told me he sometimes thought I didn't "like him in that way" anymore. The truth is most of the time I dont! It's not him I know, it's me. And yes what you said is right, how can they possibly get it? My mother isn't really excellent at advice as she's very much the type of person who talks about herself most of the time but still I am grateful that there is at least someone I can mention this to.
Do you have erratic periods also? My mother tells me this is normal and they will start to get further and further apart before stopping. Like I said mainly I am worried about the way my mind works when feeling like this, I know it's not fair and my youngest child (12) is picking up on it. She keeps asking if I'm ok and saying I look miserable.
lisa215 louise1974
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Yep, I've totally gone off sex, on the rare occasions that we do it I don't really enjoy it and to be honest I'm sometimes glad when its over and I get the same thing every time from my fella and that's ' you've gone off me' .
My cycle has changed a lot. I use to be every 25-30 days but now my my cycle can range from 17 - 60 days and my periods have got lighter and sometimes all I get is dark brown discharge. My mum and sister both sailed through their menopause and I'm feeling like a pile of poo most of the time!
louise1974 lisa215
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lisa215 louise1974
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Take care, big hugs xx
annieschaefer louise1974
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"An obliger"-omg I am here in my living room laughing so hard all by myself, I am crying! That is hilarious and such a brutally honest term. Love it!
Thanks for making my night end on a happy note!
Annie xx
natalie_63922 louise1974
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Scottish_Granny louise1974
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so sending you a hug just so you know your not the only one.... with these symptoms...
someone just needs to mention a certain family members name to me and i explode, major red rag to a bull you could say...
where as previously i was a patient person who would try to avoid confrontation and try to see the best in everyone.. i am now absolute opposite.... and hubby hasn't got a hope of understanding me.. but i'm lucky so far as he hasn't walked out yet...
louise1974 Scottish_Granny
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Scottish_Granny louise1974
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louise1974 Scottish_Granny
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gill00147 louise1974
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louise1974 gill00147
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gill00147 louise1974
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