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For the past two weeks i have been on a backwards spiral, more than 2 weeks, I once again stopped answering my phone, the one people have the number for, and i also stopped opening my mail again. I'm closing down and becoming mute, the most audible i have been was when i had a lunch outside. I fitted in my sleep, i stink like urine, and am in immense pain. Today though i have had enough, got told i stank by the delivery man, well tough sh*t sir, you be me, see how you get on. Anyway i hate this place i hope it burns one day soon. But other than that i am stopping this before it takes me all the way back to the start, tomorrow i will switch the phone on and open all the stupid mail and sort things out of which i'm able to. Today i'm going to force myself into the shower pain/ fits or not. Then go for a walk even if its just outside for five minutes. Hope you are all doing ok and if you aren't cyber hugs and cheers to you from me, keep going, Nick.
3 likes, 26 replies
gwen1953 nick34171
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nick34171 gwen1953
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hypercat nick34171
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nick34171 hypercat
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hypercat nick34171
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One of my sisters lived in a pile of junk and didn't seem to realise how bad it was until some gasmen came round to fit a new boiler. Apparently they were very rude and asked her how she could live like that.
She was very upset at the time but it did spur her into action and now it looks so much better. I said the same thing to her as I said to you lol
Bev x
deirdre._03652 nick34171
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Dondons, you wonderful person, I am so glad to SEE a post from you and to hear that you are still writing beautiful poetry...xxx
I have ( and still do. ) suffer from bouts of terrible depression...
I am very fortunate that I have a wonderful family and an amazing GP....
Nick and Dondons, have you got anybody that cares about you or a nice doctor or any form of support.....Nick, ignore people, I used to go for months !! Without a decent wash or shower....so what....you are not hurting anyone....
Is there anyone at all that you can talk to or turn to?..I hate to think of you both alone..xxx
You can get in touch with many varied organizations that can offer you help and support. It could make a big difference to your lives.....I WISH you both, so, so much luck...let us know how you are...and Dondons ...more of your fabulous poetry please..xx
You will both be in my THOUGHTS and prayers....big warm sincere hugs to YOU BOTH...DEIRDRE xxx
nick34171 deirdre._03652
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nick34171
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I was crap today then hyper now I'm crap again
my hands are swollen I have three appointments to go to tomorrow. Plus I have to admit to failing and having to lock myself in. And not answering letters or phone. I'm a mess. This damn weathers not helping. I seem to suck when it gets too hot. I cant think straight. Everytime something emotional happens I shut down even more. I'm an imbecile. I'm minutes away of tearing the hell out of everything in here. Its one way to open the mail I guess lol. I'm losing my mind. I washed my hands 23 times 5 mins ago. So my OCD/ OCB is clearly back. I even sprayed Dettol on my arms. The headache is so bad. I took the damn medication. Everything hurts. I want to just rip everything apart. I think I just realised how much I just suck as a person.
Jesus these stupid damn neighbours, its like they need to make noise every damn night. Go live in a damn night club you stupid morons!
Dondons3 nick34171
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