ESA tribunal today !

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This afternoon is my tribunal for ESA and I'm terrified . 

My whole body is in total agony today and every muscle is ridged ,the shooting pains are like needles . Im so exhausted and anxious I carnt function ,so scared of want the outcome will be  , 

everybody says I look so well that I think the panel will think I'm lying . im a positive person too and do everything I'm supposed to do to help me get better ,in the Atos interview this went completely against me . 

Not feeling hopeful today 😒

3 likes, 61 replies

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  • Posted

    Oh Mags!! Firstly don't wear makeup, not even lipstick ! You probably don't feel like putting it on anyway, secondly you must tell them how you are on your very worst day! I know it goes against the grain but use walking aids, walking stick etc if you have them. I know when my pain is bad I rock backwards and forwards , I can't stop it, perhaps you could do that today? It is a horrible experience but you are as good as them, the only difference is your health. I wince a lot when nerves get stuck on the spurs in my neck, I didn't know I did that my husband told me, if you can do that!

    best of luck for today 

    Shelagh xxx

    • Posted

      Thank you , I rock back and forth anyhow and am always fidgeting and I get sharp shooting pains and they make we wince , so here's goes x
  • Posted

    Our thought are with you today and hope all goes well, I applied for pip I had a lady come out to see she was psyciatric nurse and did pip assesments. it was another company the government use it wasnt asos with me. but this other company sorry cant remember name of it.. I havnt applied for esa applying for pip was traumatic enough for me.and on the day she came I was total wreck nerves were so bad. I even broke down crying she talked me through the form asked questions she kept asking if I was ok, she was with me for an hour.she was lovely but professional believe me these people know who are genuine and those that are fakeing it. I didnt want to claim anything but had no choice as too ill to work, my gp would not sign me fit for work. my gp wrote a letter to pip surporting me and gave them any information they wanted. take a huge breath and keep saying to your self an hour it will be all over. thats what I did to get me through it. I had my husband with me on the day it was a sat morning she came out to see me. good look thinking of you hun let us know how it goes we are with you every step of the way. gentle hug coming your way
  • Posted

    Dear Mags, I totally feel for you and think the whole procedure is completely wrong. The fact that we can look well makes things even worse, and we can be left feeling like frauds and having to feign a bad day simply because of people's lack of understanding. I still have all this to come rolleyes all I can say is the advice I have been given by a local charity who help in such cases and which is much the same as Shelagh's, you unfortunately have to pretend you are having one of your worst days. It's a shame to be reduced to this because of people's ignorance, especially since no one wants to be ill, but you do get those very bad days I'm sure so think of it as letting them know how you are at your worst rather than feigning anything. I hope this helps, and that things go well for you

    Be kind to yourself

    Boqer

  • Posted

    Atos are known for being against people and different people that have delt with them havnt a good thing to say about them. your not alone where atos are concerned. try take your mind off  the meeting by watching tele listening to music read a book or  magazine. thats the trouble with fibro we do look well with it but no one knows whats going on inside. we get judged and not believed because because we look so well. something needs to be done to get fibromyalgia more recognised like with ms.I hope prey the meeting goes well for you thinking of you take good care of yourself here for you big hug coming to you  
  • Posted

    Good luck today Mags. I went to see my OH doc from work yesterday who advised me that I will not be entitled to ill health retirement and will have to return to work. I've been out of work since last September. Most days I'm in agony but its the tinnitus that's the worst of my problems presently. I hope it all goes well. Fingers crossed for you x
    • Posted

      Hi julie sorry to hear what went on with your Oh doc yesterday, have you thought about aplying for pip or esa, Im having prolems with tinnitus at the moment so know what your going through take care 
    • Posted

      I have but unfortunately I was turned down Kaz because they said i need to go down all the avenues that treat FM such as CBT, Amitriptylline and Gapapentin first and should they then fail i can put in another application. I have no money with a mortgage to pay etc so I'm facing a return to work in the coming weeks. The tinnitus is horrible and keeps me awake at night xx
    • Posted

      Hi Julie my heart goes out to you its so unfair, it seems you have to jump through hoops to get any where. the tinnitus is driving me mad and keeping me a wake so I know what your going through hun you take care gentle hugs x
    • Posted

      It's awful Kaz. Im sick of it. Having to go back to work v soon which is going to kill me x
    • Posted

      Hi Julie Ive heard quite a few cases like yours hun, I just feel so sorry for you. wish their was something that could be done about it. wouldnt your gp write a letter saying your not fit for work is their any benefits you could claim. I would have a chat to your gp tell her how you feel and whats going on see if she can be of any help. my gp wouldnt sign me fit for work she did all she could to help me get pip. it still down to pip if you get it or not. I was fortunate to get it. wish I could help you hun here for you take care x thinking of you big hug x 
    • Posted

      I feel for you Julie, I too have been off work for a few months now and will shortly be moving to half pay. Voluntary redundancy was being offered, I applied but was refused! My GP hopes I will see the rheumatologist before work calls in OH, but I am still waiting. I wouldn't be able to function at work, let alone drive the 40 miles to get there, I am a teacher and not being able to say things, think clearly etc. would not do anyone any good! 

      My tinnitus is horrendous too just now, so I know how you feel. I really hope you get some help/ answers soon. Gentle hugs (()) 

    • Posted

      I just don't know how I'm going to function PilipalaB. I work on a very busy ward. They have agreed to give me light duties whatever that means, for the time being. It's 5am and the tinnitus has kept me awake most of the night. The OH is not very helpful whatsoever. In fact very unhelpful. The OH doctor told me he doesn't believe in FM. I could not believe it. I was livid.  He said ' they must try and get to the real cause of whats going on with you' . I'm going to go back to work and see how I get on. If i don't function then I will have to call it a day which I suspect will be the case xx
    • Posted

      Hi Julie  Your not a lone hun I have friends that work in a hospital, one of them had fibro and was badly treated people not believing her. she was unable to do her job and ended up leaving. she had no surport from work at all. Their have been many cases of this going on where people work in the nhs and are very badly treated.by their employers. Its bad that this happening especially when the nhs is surpose to care for people. Im shocked and appauled by it take care hun thinking of you x 
    • Posted

      Kaz you don't know the half of it. You are right. It's probably one of the worst organisations to work for. I'm know I'm going to end up having to leave because i just can't function . Even being in the house gets difficult with just housework.  Imagine a doctor telling me he doesn't believe in FM. I haven't been in bed most part of the last ten months just for the sake of it. I will probably have to go back in three weeks time to the most unsupportive lot of people who think I have some sort of imaginary illness!!! Dreading it xx
    • Posted

      I've worked for three different NHS trusts and my daughters worked for three different trusts, they are all rife with bullying, nobody will so anything about it! Are you in Unison Julie? If you are get them to represent you. If you aren't you can still fight them yourself. Have you seen a Rheumatoligist? If not get a referral ASAP from your doctor, now as you work in the NHS you are entitled to a soon appointment, they don't want you off work any longer than they can help. See your GP get the referral done, give it a week then phone appointments or, if your trust uses Choose and Book, book the soonest you can then speak to appointments and ask for a sooner one. If they tell you they can't do that tell them to cancel the CAB appointment and put "booked outside of CAB" in the comments. See Rheumatoligst, get diagnosis, then ask Rheumatoligist to write to OH doctor telling him you are unfit for work due to FM. Can you tell I worked in Information and advice as well as the NHS. If you have to go back to work on limited hours do it, don't let your colleagues wind you up. I worked with another girl with fibro, she complained all day about her pain and how tired she was, I didn't say a word just kept going as much as I could I had no problems with colleagues or team leaders, they knew I was unwell but they felt she was putting it on. I'm not saying you shouldn't say anything but keep it as little as you can. Any problems let me know.

      take care Julie, gentle hugs xxx

    • Posted

      Shelagh this is really really helpful. I have been seen by the rheumatologist who has diagnosed Fibro. He put forward a series of recommendations i. e CBT ( which I've been put forward for but hasn't happened yet). I'm currently taking Coedine which he felt was ok but suggested Garbapentin which I took for two days and felt so dreadful that I went back to the Coedine. I'm on the waiting list for the pain management clinic . I'm month ten  into sickness and finances are really really a strain now as i have a little boy to support and a mortgage to pay on my own as my partner left me as he could not cope with me being unwell! . I did apply for ill health but they said i still need to try other treatment options  and should that fail I can reapply. I'm in a no win position really so I'm faced with no choice but to return to work and to see how it goes. You are certainly right when you say the NHS is rife with bullying. Before I went off sick there were three grievance cases regarding bullying from management. I am in Unison but I've never found them v good. My GP has recommended a very very slow phrased return so I guess that's positive. Thank you and will keep you posted Gentle hugs to you too x
    • Posted

      Hi Julie I am just so angry shocked at your treatment, but not surprised as a friend of mine went through the same. not to believe you is an absolute insult to you and to tell you to keep trying different things well that is just so wrong. I would get as many people as you can to help fight your corner from your gp the union the  rheumatologist. get as many reports as you can. somethings got to be done. the nhs are terrible with how they treat their staff, Ive heard alot from friends about how their treated. wish I could help you in some way. Would the CAB be of any use for advice also, oh  hun really really feel for youand, for your partner to act like that also well Im shocked disgusted by it all. people never cease to amaze me. all I can say hun is you have my full support Im with you every step of the way here for you pace yourself with house work if I dont feel up to doing anything it doesnt get done. people come into my home to see me not the house. if they dont like it well tough. youve got to put yourself 1st and your child you two are what matter.Im concerned about you keep in touch so we know how you are and how your doing take care big hugs coming your way xx
    • Posted

      Hi pillipala cant believe you were turned down for redundancy hope all goes well for you when you see the rhematologist hope you see him before the OH are called in, also with you going down to half pay, see if you are entitled to any benefits like working tax credit help with council tax your local CAB would give you help advice you may need. take care gentle hugs  
    • Posted

      Kaz. It's so so so good to have friends here. True friends i have to say as the support everyone gets is really really awesome. I could write a book about the NHS. Trust me. Yes, and my partner Harry is now settled with someone else. But as anyone that knows me tells me I'm so much better off without someone who isn't prepared to stay with somebody who isn't well. I will let you know how things are and go. You know I have some reports here   But it's so so difficult to get ill health retirement these days. I contacted a solicitor specialising inbFM. Very very good. Not sure if I'm allowed to mention . Brian Barr solicitors based in Manchester. She told me to go along with whatever is recommended and i can say " At least I tried to go back to work' in case it fails . Thank you so much . Love and hugs. Julie xx
    • Posted

      Hi julie that does make sense hun at least then you can t have it thrown at you by work or any one else that you didnt try. I would look into also any benefits you may get eg working tax credits help with council tax thinking of you take care hun xx here for you xx hugs are coming your way x
    • Posted

      Hi Shelagh your so right, I also work in the NHS have lupus, fibromyalgia 60% hearing loss, vertigo attacks, tinnitus constantly, and sinusitis flare ups that I'm awaiting another operation for,

      I had 6 months off last year with a massive flare up after having my sinus operation done, I felt I had no support from anyone in work, when my manager visited me at home I felt she was trying to get me to finish work and talked about everyone on the unit who had a headache or sore throat etc and made me feel I was skiving,

      I worry if I go suck again they will try and get rid of me and il be on no pay,

      This worries me to as I'm in no benefits to fall back on,

      I've also learned to keep quiet I go about my day in agony and say nothing, in fact I'm on my way now with dreadfully painful joints and sinuses playing up with cold sores on my nose, when I mentioned my cold sore last week my manager just rolled her eyes,

      But she will not get the better of me,

      I lost my son last October and although I had a bunch of flowers I had no support again,

      When she lost her x husband i was there supporting her, ( don't ask me why ) must be my nature,

      Sorry i've gone on a bit,

      Just wanted to say your right

      Gentle hugs to you all

    • Posted

      Oh leona18728 my heart goes ou to you, the nhs are one of the worst employers for not surporting their staff, a friend of mine got treated really bad with them also she ended up finishing work she was too ill to work with the fibro. are you in a union if you have a good dr tell them whats going on they should surrport you with having to have time. also if you do have to finish work you could try claiming esa pip. the rheumatologist would surport your case also your gp. Im disgusted with how the nhs are treating their staff its surpose to be a caring proffession. As for your manager I wouldnt give her any support of any kind she doesnt deserve any. I know its a difficult situation to be but say nothing to no one at work least of all your manager. theirs not many people you can trust now a days especially at work. as ive found out before now people are only to quick to judge you and stab you in the back. just grit your teeth at work say nothing to no one. CAB are good to go to for help advice. thinking of you take carexx gentle hugs  here for you x    
    • Posted

      Thank you so much Kaz your so right

      Hope your feeling well today,

      At least I've a day off today in prep for my long shifts over the weekend,

      But keep smiling 😃

      Gentle hugs x

    • Posted

      I was up all night in alot of pain so exhausted today but sun is shinning that always lifts me up you have arestful day today hun and pamper yourself take care hun gentle hugs xx
    • Posted

      Hi julie how are you doing today hun thinking of you take care gentle hugs xx
    • Posted

      Hello Kaz, plodding along. Waiting for a start date for work now. Just had a mate around for a cuppa. Got bad IBS today. There's always something every day. Gentle hugs to you too xx
    • Posted

      Leona, I'm with you on this one. It's supposed to be a caring profession but where is the compassion for us care givers.  If i have to go because of my Fibro I'm going to blow the whistle ( big style). Like your manager, mine did the same. Came to see me at home and i was told of all the staff that are working hard, even one who is having cancer treatment, and still at work. Do they understand how painful and the amount of symptoms we gave with FM. Like you I suffer from dreadful tinnitus. It's v v bad at the moment xx
    • Posted

      Hi julie you have my every sympathy that 2 of us with Ibs today, hope you had anice time with your mate. take care hun gentle hugs xx
    • Posted

      In and out of the loo Kaz. My stomach is literally bubbling and churning. Imagine having to do a days work in this state. . And the tinnitus is driving me potty. At least the weather is good. Hugs to yiu xx
    • Posted

      Im having enough trouble getting to the loo in time at home never mind work hope the tinnitus eases mine as eased at the min thank goodness it was driving me that mad I wanted to pull my hair out. you take care hun thinking of you hugs coming to you xx
    • Posted

      Healing thoughts being sent your way for your tinnitus lov

      I know we'd look a little silly in the day but have you tried headphones at night? It does help a little 10 minutes peace is better than none

      Hugs x

    • Posted

      Hi Kaz, just wanted to share my day with everyone,

      I worked until midnight last night so this morning felt really sorry for myself, my friend came to the house and insisted I go to Aqua aerobics with her, she read somewhere or other that it would benefit me,

      I went kicking and screaming through the door 😄

      After 10 minutes in the pool of 7 other ladies and one gentleman I started to enjoy myself although I couldn't hear what the instructor was saying because I took my hearing aids out, soon the ladies were showing me and pointing in the direction I needed to go, there was no introduction but we all bonded and they were so kind, we all had a good laugh,

      My friend and I went for coffee after and chatted until she drove me home,

      Back home I've found the energy to clean my bedroom and peg out a full line of washing,

      I'm sat here now my bum is aching but feel a lightness over me

      I'm so grateful to my friend for insisting I go as I would of probably gone back to bed and would not of met those lovely ladies in the pool

      Can't wait for next weeks session now,

      It's so good to laugh,

      I couldn't remember the last time I had such fun,

      When did you all last have a good laugh and why xx

    • Posted

      Hi leona that sounds great fun, so pleased to hear you had such a fun time and having a laugh also just made it all worth while going, even if you did kick scream going out the door haha. good for you for going I think theirs a lesson for us all here. sometimes if we dont feel like doing something or going out somewhere. perhaps we should push ourselves that bit more and go you never know we could even enjoy it like leona did. the last time I laughed was seeing my husband trip up the stairs last night that made me laugh cruel of me I know gentle hugs take care 
    • Posted

      Haha that's my sense of humour I'd of wet myself if I saw my husband trip up the stairs 😃

      Hope you feel better tomorrow xx

    • Posted

      I very nearly did wet myself, my husband wasnt amused I laughed at him but I couldnt help it the little devil came out in me x
    • Posted

      Hi Julie how are you doing hun the tinnitus was really bad last night no sleep at all and in agony with my legs also what I would give for a good nights sleep Im sick of his tinnitus and constant pain take care gentle hugs xx
    • Posted

      Hi JUlie I bet you are dreading going back to work bless you. I had Ibs on the day of me going on hol what a day to start on wasnt happy especially with a long journey a head of me. on wards upwards as they say gentle hugs take care xx

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