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Evening all or who ever is about

Posted , 5 users are following.

tina89895
tina89895

Life is so hard, babysitting this evening been very stressful was in a state before I got here, didn't even get dressed until gone 5, done my best for my son got another hour to go. Been chatting to my sister, feel like Sh**, life is sh** but trying like I'm suppose to. Still very unsure what I want or need to do, drugs and alcohol seem to take over wrong I know but unsure how to cope or deal with stuff. Therapy is hard, confusing, difficult, still unsure who I am and which way to go. Suic*** or just keep plugging on but over the years it's taking it's toll. Just keep going through the motions. You all take care out there. Xx

4 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • annaschalz
    annaschalz tina89895

    Posted

    dear tina,

    I've been in something pretty similar. thought about the same. there is no use of others words cause we will find strength to decide in which ever path it would take in us. and though its process it is also small triggers that make all the difference and those difere in a wide range. one thing i can guarantee you, nothing is easy. but if we are still here its because we should. if reach for help its because smthg in you know it is not the time. are you able to make small plans and commit? which type of help do you have? therapy is what it is. feels good talking to someone who supposely is not going to judge one but should also not sugar coat anything. at the end, you know it all, and you are aware. one just either dont want to see or is having more difficult to put in practice those tools to get everything together. thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. it helps a lot of others, me included.

  • petram
    petram tina89895

    Posted

    hi tina89895

    it is good that you know that you can make choices on where you want to go and who you want to be.

    it is also good that you want to talk about it as well sometimes just putting pen to paper helps keep staying strong to fight the demons and you will feel better in the long run

    a big smile for being strong  razz 

  • DforD
    DforD tina89895

    Posted

    Hi Tina,

    Somehow I can relate to you about going through the motions. It's just that we reach a point where nothing seems important anymore, nothing motivates us anymore. But in life there is no other way but to keep going. You, knowing that alcohol and drugs won't help is commendable. You are so right. There is nothing I can suggest for you to do on how to focus yourself on something else because this entirely depends on you. It's you who needs to see things. It's you who should realize that this is not the life you want anymore.

    Maybe you can start by thinking about what makes you happy? Or things that made you happy?

    Take care!

    Dee

     

  • Patient
    Patient tina89895

    Posted

    Hi tina89895

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

  • tina89895
    tina89895

    Posted

    Well thank you all for your replies, they are all much appreciated, today's group therapy went down like a lead balloon, I made a complete fool of myself, got upset and had to leave the room during the meditation part due to triggers, that was before we even started, Tried my best to participate but trying so hard not to cry. took diazepam to try and calm down, did stay until the end so that is a positive then the usual run, been out driving for the rest of the day. Had my phone call with my councillor through work who informed me the contract is changing so I will have to start all over again but will have to check with my line manager who is taking over the contract at the end of the month.. What is the point in keep trying and making an effort to form a professional relationship with people them be abandoned again. I am devastated getting drunk yet again just to kill anything and everything. How much more can I take, Got occupational health appointment with one of their doctors on Friday too. i just want to crawl under a stone and disappear. The strength is waning. And what makes me happy I have no idea!!! haven't for quite a long time, I have got to find the real me first but just don't know how! Better go to bed it has been a verrrry long day and i'm tired. 

    You all keep going in the right direction and you all will get there I'm sure.

    Tina x

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