Evening is going down hill

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Had quite a good day after I eventually made myself get up. Took daughter inlaws dog for a good walk, had a takeaway for my tea so I ate something for a change. Then here we go again.... Getting frustrated with myself not sure why..wanting to damage myself, crying, screaming. Head feels blank/empty. I just hate keep feeling like this I wish it would all just go away....I just feel so emotionally tired...cry

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  • Posted

    There is nothing wrong with a good cry and scream.  You're emotionally drained because you've been through a lot.  Give yourself some time to grieve and don't fight it.  You're feelings are valid ... This isn't about having a pity party.  Stay strong!  
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    • Posted

      I feel as if I don't fight it, I'm going to be a complete quivering wreck huddled in the corner, I try and stsay strong but it doesn't seem to last..
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  • Posted

    This is typical of depression and recovery.  Up one minute, down the next.  This might happen for a little while and then you'll get days of feeling good.  Yes indeed you been through so much too, and you need time to grieve.

    Thinking of you Tina x

     

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  • Posted

    I understand!  I've been there and I have never lost a spouse.  I could only image how dark your world feels right now.  I just want you to know that for the mere fact you're here expressing your feelings, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.  I really just think you need to do two things...#1 Talk to your doctor about your medication options and if he/she doesn't understand how dark your outlook is right now, find a new doctor.  #2 Reach out to a friend or family member and express your grief to them.  It's really lonely to go through this alone.  I can tell from your other posts that you're concerned about imposing on anyone.  Honestly, any person who loves you would be honored to hold your hand through this.  Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.  Sending hugs!  
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    • Posted

      Thank you both for your understanding and compassion, I'm due to see my doctor on Thursday and my councillor week tuesday, so see how things go on from there I suppose. Back at work full time this week also, maybe thats playing on my mind too. I just can't stop crying I just feel as if I've gone backwards. Better see if I can get some sleep or maybe go out for a walk. 
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    • Posted

      I lost a six year relationship rather quickly back in February 2013. I have been depressed since that time. It has been very hard for me to have "good" days. One thing I want you to keep telling yourself is that your feelings are normal. We were not created to easily handle this type of loss. Secondly, talking with people about how you are feeling throughout the day is helpful. I have friends who have listened to me say the same things over and over for the past few years. Sometimes I think they must be sick of hearing me so depressed... but they assure me they are there to support me. Today I had a very rough day and after talking to three different people about my feelings I have calmed a bit. This is a daily occurence for me. Please give yourself time. You are allowed to go "crazy" for as long as you need to. While you grieve you will be growing even though you will not feel like it. I am a Bible beliver and I believe whole heartedly that the Bible tells us to think on things that are pure, lovely, and true because it is so easy for us to trail down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts. Reach out to others, post your feelings and thoughts here for extra support, and pray. The worst thing we can do is to stay alone with our thoughts and heart aches. Be good to yourself. Often times we think we should be handling our emotions better. I'm not sure why we are so hard on ourselves when we would never be so hard on other people. God says, "Take courage, I have overcome the world." God knows you are hurting and He is collecting our tears in jars. Truth, love, and community will be helpful on your journey. Medications may serve to dampen or blunt your emotions. However, the real work will take some time. Remember, you are loved. You are wonderfully created. You are God's greatest creation. 
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