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It is hell when these attacks come on. They are triggered by a person being spiteful or people putting pressure on me.
I took up voluntary work to see if it woud help me and it did tremendously. For 5 years I worked at this charity and my colleagues and me were like a family. I had feelings that I have rarely experienced in my unstable life. I felt warm and safe.
Then a new manager took over and he was a nasty piece of work. I applied for another job and luckily for me I got it. It's only 3 hours a day because that is all I can manage. Responsibilty scares me. Commitment scares me. In a voluntary job you know that you can leave early at any time.
I've found out that my previous colleagues have also left the other job.
I feel that the swine has broken up a happy family.
The other day I thought 'what if the supervisor at this job doesn't really want me there. I would hate to have nothing to do and life passing by'.
I was shaking like a leaf on the bus all the way to work but luckily there were no problems.
I still miss my 'work brothers'. I've since found out that this new manager hasn't got much staff and the shop is closed on some days.
what goes around comes around.
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