Fear eats away at me. Petrified.

Posted , 3 users are following.

It is hell when these attacks come on. They are triggered by a person being spiteful or people putting pressure on me.

I took up voluntary work to see if it woud help me and it did tremendously. For 5 years I worked at this charity and my colleagues and me were like a family. I had feelings that I have rarely experienced in my unstable life. I felt warm and safe.

Then a new manager took over and he was a nasty piece of work. I applied for another job and luckily for me I got it. It's only 3 hours a day because that is all I can manage. Responsibilty scares me. Commitment scares me. In a voluntary job you know that you can leave early at any time.

I've found out that my previous colleagues have also left the other job.

I feel that the swine has broken up a happy family.

The other day I thought 'what if the supervisor at this job doesn't really want me there. I would hate to have nothing to do and life passing by'.

I was shaking like a leaf on the bus all the way to work but luckily there were no problems.

I still miss my 'work brothers'. I've since found out that this new manager hasn't got much staff and the shop is closed on some days. 

what goes around comes around.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    PS: Because I am on sickness benefit the authorities ask me to go for a medical every two years. So far I have satisfied the medical that I am unable to work full time BUT I got a letter from them the other day. It's time again and I'm worried they will send me on work experience and I may have to stop my voluntary work.

    I can only do 3 hours a day. If I asked to do more I would have to decline, plus I couldn't do it every day.

    I still have that feeling of dread when it is my day to go to work. Scared this new job that I love will be taken away.

    Maybe it is an irrational fear. I don't know. Comments please.

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    • Posted

      Hi Louisa, i,ve been a victim of bullying at a few jobs now, it,s a real cruel world we live in at times..Although yours seemed to be a general problem where the manager was horrible to everyone where as ive been bullied personally..it,s not nice and bullies should be named and shamed i believe, especially if it was some kind of charity shop you worked in? any way stay strong because i believe like you said what goes around comes around...
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    • Posted

      Hi Julia

      I was bullied when I was working for a living so I understand how you felt.

      How do you feel? Can you forgive because I will never but they were lonely people with nothing in their lives.

      Bullying at work was not recognised then. It is not allowed now.

      At the charity shop, he was jealous of our closeness because he was young and ugly. Poor soul. That is a life sentence. Ooh!  am awful.

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  • Posted

    Hi, I also volunteer for a Charity in a local shop and I do two mornings a week. I prefer one day to another because my colleague and I get along better but I've learned to cope with the other. 

    You don't give any details about your background. Such as age, circumstance etc. I'd like to hear more about you.

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    • Posted

      I live in London and like yourself I prefer a person to the other.

      The other supervisor can be snappy but I pick up quickly on atmospheres. She asked me to show a volunteer the till and what we do in between customers (tidying rails, shelves AND keeping an eye on stock that we have sold).

      I wanted to say "I'm not here to train people. That's your job".

      Because most of the volunteers just lean on the till and don't keep the counter tidy or do the tidying, when I take over, no bags, can't find the marker pen.

      I got a text from Tristan (my work brother). He's got another job.

      The other guy left for 2 months and came back. I saw him in the street and he said "I wouldn't p... on Antony if he was on fire".

      Gwen, am I missing something? Why did he go back?

      Where abouts are you in this wide world.

      It would be nice to keep in touch.

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