Fear of HIV testing

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So I was recently diagnosed with Genital Herpes and Chlamydia but did not agree to HIV testing due to my fear of a potential positive result. I have never shown any symptoms of HIV and use condoms when I have sex with conspicuous women. But I have also never had symptoms of GH or chlamydia either. The last girl I had sex that would cheat often was when I was 17 and I am now 25. She's had a kid since then and the child is healthy so I'm thinking she might not have it.

Anyway I'm going to begin a sexual relationship very shortly and would feel devastated if I gave this girl HIV because of my fear to do testing. She goes to an Ivy League school and always talks about how much she loves her life. Should I get tested, what are my chances of being positive?

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  • Posted

    If you've been exposed to risk then you need to get tested.

    Too have or enter into a relationship that could lead to sex without condom then you need to be totally honest with the partner.

    So if you've got doubts to be fair with the partner you have two options

    1 get tested and if results are clear then fine

    2 don't get tested but always wear condom to prevent partner from risk and tell them.

    Sorry but if you want sex then your fears of test results pale into comparison with risk of infecting someone

    You say you wear condoms when with conspicuous women...those you don't trust...which could mean you have sex without condoms with others.

    Every time you have unprotected sex you put yourself at risk and future partners. How high the risk is impossible to state as the other person may not know they're infected or may refuse to acknowledge they've been infected or like yourself may be infected but don't want to know about it and therefore that makes risk hard to judge.

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  • Posted

    Yes you should get tested b4 you enter a sexual relationship with another person. if you dont and you think that you could have hiv that is really not fair in the other person go and get tested b4 you have unprotected sex. Also you will need to tell the other person about the genital herpies because that can also be passed on as once you have it it lies dormant and can still be passed on with out an out break present. Good luck im sure you will be ok but have the test to put your mind at rest and move on with your life.
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  • Posted

    KJack,

    Whether you get tested on not your diagnosis will be the same.  If you end up being postive (which I doubt you will) then you can start treatment early before you get sick or compromised.

    You will be so relieved when you get back the results being positive.  Don't do it for you.  Do it for anyone you are sexual with.  A negative reading will wipe this issue off the slate and you can work on your relationship and not your health concern.  This must weigh heavy in your thought.

    Again, a test is not going to change your health status. It's just going to change what you know about your health.  

    Do the right thing for you and those you love and get tested.

    Why do I know all this?  Because I had a similar experience.  Fortunately, I had someone to support me to get tested.  I ended up texting negative.  It was a great feeling.  I had delayed getting tested for 6 months.  I could have save me a lot of mental anquish.

    Anyway, let us know your results.  I wish you (and yours) the very best,

    DL

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  • Posted

    Yes DEFINATELY!!!  The reason these STD's are out of control is people do not get tested and then infect someone else.  STD's are easy to treat usually, but HIV is a whole other story.  You could be endangering someone else's life because of your fears.  The most resposnisble grown up decision you could do is get the HIV test before having sex with this female.

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  • Posted

    The siliest question ever. If you don't get tested, you can be a walking murderer. If you have any consciousness at all, it is not something you should ask yourself, but you need to do the testing. For your sake and for other's sake. Thank you 

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  • Posted

    Hi, if you are me then I will get test. 1 test is clear then I have stress free. Else, then you can get treatment which can help you control and live longer. Good luck.
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  • Posted

    Negative
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  • Posted

    So, you got tested and the results came back negative?  If so, good for you!  I'm proud of you!  DL

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  • Posted

    Happy ending 🎊🎉

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  • Posted

    Years ago I was asked to be a consultant for an AIDs service organization.  I was asked to popularize via outreach and media an MSM program that was being heavily funded by the state.  MSM stood for Men who have Sex with Men (but identified as straight). Everything was straight about this group except one thing.  Ocasionally they had sex with a guy.  

    The state had determined that many HIV infections with women was the result of the fact that MSM husbands were spreading the virus at an alarming rate.  The out gay population was getting tested but this group fell between the cracks of society since they didn't identify as being gay, so, they had no peers, no support.  The guys they had sex with were usually strangers.

    It was an eye opening experience. Most of the clients carried a large amount of shame, didn't understand their urges and felt guilty by their occasional actions. They never got tested until we provided a safe and confidential place to do so.

    I would like to think that by our actions we saved a lot from experiencing the dreaded disease.

    Thanks for doing the right thing and get tested. 

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