Feel like a waste of space

Posted , 8 users are following.

I am new here, aged 49, GP has confirmed I am peri menopausal, I am a type 2 diabetic, so GP doesn't want to put me on HRT, but I feel I am no longer functioning. I have never been very organised, but now very disorganised. I have also been on antidepressants for years, for low mood, so GP upped these to try and help. I want to stop taking them, as they make me feel like a failure.

I would be grateful for any advice.

One added minus, my husband is also 49, and is struggling as well ? Male menopause? so worrying about each other is not helping matters.

There is a plus, we became grandparents 11 weeks ago.

Thanks in advance


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8 Replies

  • Posted

    hi teresa.. think you will find a lot of people on here have gone down the herbal route rather than all the pills the doctor will give you (that choice is yours) .. i cant do HRT breast cancer 6 yrs ago and im struggling with achs & pains in joints big time and flushes i take (early days) a tablet called nutrition FX its all herbal google it .. my husband age 60 i feel is also going through his own menopause, this i dont think is recognized for men .. yet .. we also have 2 grandaughter age 2 & 4 months and there a god send .. 
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    • Posted

      Hi Michelle 

      male  menopause or andropause, is recognised.  Symptoms can include irritability, low mood, feeling 'doom & gloom', irrational behaviour, to name a few.  I saw a really interesting discussion on Richard & Judy about 12 yrs ago or so, and recognised the description which fitted my husband to the letter. It recommended going on line to fill out a questionnaire, he did this and scored very high, recommending he see his doctor.  His testosterone level was borderline low.  He was really pleased to be able to read about others with the same feelings.  He has been taking testosterone (gel), since then and feels so much better on it.  He occasionally decides he doesnt need it, then when I find myself walking on egg shells again, or road rage ensues, I send him upstairs to put his gel on, infact its a running joke with family and friends, we call it his sedation!  He is now 54, and been on it for about 12 yrs, we wouldn't be without it.


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  • Posted

    hi Teresa, I would agree with Michelle.  Herbs.  Possibly finding a good herbalist to help you with knowledge and correct herbs for your body.  I have also found the energy therapists very good for the emotional side.  Reiki, bio energy, homeopathy, kinesiology.  
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  • Posted

    there really is so much out there to help us without automaticaly gong to the GP only to be put on anti-depresants ..
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  • Posted

    Hello Teresa,

    I feel for you maybe wanting to feel better and possibly getting off the medication you have been taking for years. Had it been helping you prior to the peri starting?

    I know that it appears the antidepressants are handed out like candy these days, but there are times where I have seen it legitimately help others.

    You say they make you feel like a failure. Please don't feel that way, especially if it is helping you. Because you are far from being a failure. Society doesn't look at people who take hypertension, diabebetic, or cardiac meds as failures.

    This is just another chapter in life, which thank heavens, you will find a lot of great support on here. I am sort of new here as well, having started what I hope it the final phase of this sometimes madness at the begininng of 2014, as these women here have been a Godsend!

    So please, if this is something that has worked and simply needs adjusting a bit, consider sticking with it, at least for a little bit to see whether it helps you through what can be a pretty emotional roller coaster.

    There is no harm in supplementing with vitamins and other things that many on here, especially JayneeJay has shared her knowledge of what has worked for her by trial and error. You can check previous posts to see hers and others, to find out what may help you out as well, if not better.

    Congratulations on becoming grandparents, best wishes to all.

    Annie xx

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  • Posted

    Hi dear.  Congratulations on the new baby!  Lists are good for me cause I am getting disorganized.  Post it notes are a Godsend.  The B vitamins I take B6 and B12 are great for everything concerning menopause.  Have greatly helped me.  Google about them.  Dr. oz says they are great to take together.  I also drink an Ensure meal replacement everyday which boosts my energy.  Full of vitamins and minerals which we need more at this time.  I think my husband has menopause too!  Not good!  cheesygrin
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  • Posted

    Hi Teresa, A lot of us have been in your shoes... the confusion, some had sever depression. I went through this confusion thing myself. I never took HRT's and I won't. I'm 52 with no period for 22 months (the crowd in my head cheers). All these horrific menopause symptoms have been fought with vitamins, herbs and exercise. Even on the days I'm sea sick dizzy, I get on the row machine or the treadmill. I think exercise is a huge factor in getting your mind, body and overall spirit back to good health. The B6 and B12 regiments along with DHEA have saved my butt! Please see an herbologist and go natural. I believe it will change your life. Congrats on your grandbaby! Yay! P.S. this all passes in time. All my symptoms are almost gone and that awful excess belly fat is saying goodbye! Have an amazing day! biggrin
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