Feel like everything is caving in after major friend bust up last night?

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hey guys

I hope you are all well.

Cut a long story short last night I went out with a group of supposedly best friends for a night out.

At first everything was great, but then disaster happened when we went to the casino. We we playing and having great fun until I asked the waitress for food. She was very rude to me which put my mood down and affected the mood of the night to be honest.

The worst was yet to come though as later when we were playing roulette, my friend and I were sitting next to each other. For a long period after he won he kept loosing with his bets where as I kept winning using the same bet each time.

According to him I was rude because he felt I was going against him and with the other friend was celebrating when he was loosing.

It ended up that after we left he suddenly blew up at me and then started relating that event to things he said he didn't like about me before, which has never happened. He also blamed me for the waitress incident and with our other friend used this as a chance to lecture me on everything.

It happened so fast I am still in shock and feel like bursting into tears as I don't know what to do now?

My other friend said that bear in mind he was upset about other things too and when he lost a lot of money and thought we were not helping him like before it got to him badly.

Thing is when we sat down later he started lecturing me on all faults he thought I had and really really hurt me.

Please what do I do about this??

1 like, 6 replies

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Adame

    I have never been in a Casino and therefore never played the slots so my understanding of the system is some what restricted.

    It sounds here that your friend had His Fingers burnt and lost a lot of money. He took it all out on you as you had been more lucky than him on the night.

    With Gambling I understand you need to know when to quit, it would seem this was not the case. He needs to understand thatĀ  and not take out that weakness on you.

    Only you can decide on a way forward here, your friend needs to understand, you were not involved on His loses. If He was open to strike out at you, you need to make Him understand not to strike out at you. If this is not possible, move onĀ 

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Get new friends. Join a gym or something like it. Stop gambling. Re-invent yourself.
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  • Posted

    Hello Adame. Sorry your evening and your friend blew up. However..if this is the first time that he has done this and he was my friend I would let him know that if he ever does anything like this again he's out!! No do overs!! Or leave the relationship now because it sounds like he can't take responsibility for his actions. You didn't lose his money. He did! I don't go to casinos..where I live they are everywhere and I have a friend and I kid you not...her whole family leaves all their money there. Crazy. Please keep us posted we care. I promise. Diane

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  • Posted

    Hi Adam - give him space. Let him ponder what has happened and see if he comes back to apologise. Sounds like he lost money he couldn't afford to lose and his embarrassment and self-loathing has manifested in attacking you. We hurt the ones we love. If, however, what he has said about you is a truth in his world, then you are better off without him. I wonder, was he drinking at all, and if so, was it much? That can result in things said that are designed to wound, out of fear and frustration at oneself. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Wayne

      Thanks for your reply. I think you have hit the nail on the head with this one and that's exactly how it panned out.

      He hasn't apologised though, but has just suddenly changed to being nice. The difficult issue though is that on the night it happened he said very hurtful things which in my opinion are not true at all.

      Even if they were the way in which he was talking I feel was inappropriate and not correct at the time and place even if it was.

      Its just tough to feel better when a friend you valued so much has said things which are sensitive and not true.

      How do I overcome this?

      Thanks for your help.

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    • Posted

      Hi again Adame - thanks for responding. It's a tough one when there are deep emotions involved. His being nice now might be from embarrassment, reflection on the state he has put your friendship into, realisation that there is a big loss involved here. It's difficult to know where you stand when he won't broach the subject. You haven't said whether he had been drinking and if so, how much? Many a regretted thing can be said by those under the influence. If his intellectual skills were not impaired in any way, and he has never acted in similar fashion before, then it would seem he has blurted out what he might really think. If you absolutely have to know, then the only approach is upfront and honest.

      Tell him what he has said, how it hurt, how you can't understand why, watch his physical reaction, listen to his response and either patch it up, let it go, or finish the friendship. Not knowing where you stand with someone you care about is an exhausting experience. Every word, every action, no matter how trite suddenly takes on gigantic significance, tying us up in knots as we incessantly analyse the lot. If he meant what he said, and harbours that attitude toward you, you are better off without him. It's impossible to trust someone who hasn't been honest with you. 

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