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Don't know what yet but yesterday was angry frustrated upset agitated already been to GP about chest pains got chest x ray await results possible strained muscles in the joints of breast bone. Bit later on took 5mg diazepam as crying screaming ete etc text Cpn as in no state to talk not sure if that was allowed (as bee ndiscahrgedf rom her) anyway no reply. Decided go for a walk, didn't tell anyone where to but a walk through the forest tracks up in the hills the wind was strong, trees bending in half, the rain was hard and cold got soaked as took my coat off too thoughts were I am in the process of doing something really risky and silly here and I don't care. Was out for 3 hours, tried phoning Samaritans but bad signal and she couldn't hear me so gave that up. Did get home drenched but quite exhilerated now debatng going out somewhere again just to see, as I don't really care if I live or die just take risks and see where they take me at least if I;m out on my own I;m not involving or hurting anyone else. Is this wrong?
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