Feelin kinda dandy!!!!!

AddyXX u know i care

U know I do

I cant believe that self harm could be something my own daughter could be doing who is 13

Im not surprised after what she has been through

What kind of mother am I?

Im coming off fluo immediately too

As I really feel crapright now, Addyxx, am so glad you're OK

Great to hear from you

It's a wonderful life...............................

Yeh rite, and my favourite film!

Addy - so wish I was better, but im worse than ever, and i cant see the point anymore hun.

I hope fluo works for you all - but maybe it blinds you to your real feelings, then when you really feel them again, it's goodbye xx

Addy, it sounds like you're doing really well - brilliant! I'm really pleased for you and hope it continues like this.

Suzisue, I'm worried for you - you don't sound good. Is there anyone you can talk to in real life? Will you go back and see your GP? What's happening with your daughter? Keep in touch and I hope you slept well. Take care of yourself.

Gretchel :cuddle:

Thanks suzisue i know x

I really worried bout ya PLEASE PLEASE go back to your dr ASAP!!!!!!

Your having a bad time & all seems pretty grim but know you can be strong when needed - you are a good mum!!!!!!!! Bad mums don't care bout their kids & you def do!!!

All kids ave probs like we did does not mean its down to you hun!!! u there for them which is hugely inportant

Come on m8 there is a point we all need u to x can't stress enough the support u given me & others past few mths u took the time & u not even know us - that alonesays there is a point to suzisue u are a lovely caring person....so u gotta pull yourself back up m8 care bout u don't let this win!!!!!!

If u need these meds to help u - TAKE THEM!!!!!!!!!

Will check ere later really hoping you post back m8 really hope u feel little better too!!!

We all ere for u xxxx

thanks gretchel x

early days iknow but feel fine

Thanks so much Addyxx and Gretchel. Im just so confused, and I don't know what's happeneing with Lauren - It's a long story and all came out last night.

I was in bits, but me and Lauren and my son all talked about it together, and it started when her best friend's mum called me and told me her daughter Katie had cut her stomach, and there were loads of cuts just under her boob. I was in tears as I love Katie - I spoke to her on the phone and she told me Lauren had done it too - when Mum went in to the nursing home, and Lauren was gutted. But we spoke in to the night, and Lauren swears to me she didnt do it. We really talked, and she keeps cuddling me.

We were supposed to be going away this weekend(today) to Devon - with Pete too Lauren and Katie

Now Katie can't come and Lauren doesnt want to come on her own, and I cant leave her here. Danny's staying with his girlfriend

I don't know if I believe Lauren, I just want her to talk to me. I've always worried about her as she has kept everything inside since Dad died / nasty divorce and now Mum - I have been in bits - and she obviously worries about that

It's too much for such young shoulders to carry.

Im coming off the fluoxetine, I am going to pull myself together for my kids. They need me. I feel crap, and wish I had the guts to die, but right now that would be the chickens way out, cos my kids need me, and I love them more than I love my own life.

Thank u for being there guys, I took my last fluoxetine this morning - I'll see if I can stay strong - im also going to see my Dr at 11.40- as I have woken up with what I think is conjunctivitus, my eyes all stuck together - YUK!!! So I'll mention about everything too

Im so worried about Lauren - and Danny (He's having his first counselling session at school on Monday) He's 17 - We've all been through such a lot - it's taking its toll now

I gotta pull myself together for my daughter and my son - that's what mother's are for isn't it? Mum has always been there for me - she was a real strong loving Mum - I've been a wreck for 5 or 6 years! Well no more - Im going to give my kids what my Mum and Dad gave me - love and support, and no more the weak, falling apart Mum xx

Love u all to bits - and hope we all make it. ife is just crap sometimes eh.

What else can happen?

Lauren does have a scar on her stomach that could have been a cut, but she swears it isn't

I'll just have to talk to her - we need each other right now.

Bloody hell I've gone on, and I can hardly see cos my eyes are so bad!! LOL! They're all gungy and disgusting - LOVELY!!!

What'll I do about Lauren? I love her so much - there's more stuff too, but I cant go in to it all - she's a good girl - doesnt go out and stuff - you know what I mean - we're quite a strong threesome really, always there for each other if we can be, it's just I've been so down for too long.

God Im waffling

Thank u Gretchel and Addyxx, wanted you both to know Im safe, and trying really hard to sort myself out xxxxx

Hope you got on OK at the doctor and that you told them about how you have been feeling; also about what is possibly going on with Lauren.

Thinking of you - remember that you have to look after yourself first so that you can be the mum you want to be (and I'm sure you're a great mum anyway).

Take care.

Gretchel

Hey Suz, just caught up today with postings and can't believe what's been happening in such a short space of time.

Have you come of the meds as you mentioned on the 16th? if so, how are you? When I came off, I was fine for a week-10 days, then it hit me, hence I'm back on them now.

If you haven't come off Suz, I'd honestly stay with the 20mg every other day. You need your kids and they need you and you need to be extra strong at this period in your lives. When things start to calm down, get more settled, then wean off them?

With what you guys have been through, I'm not really surprised what I have read with Danny's counselling and Lauren possibly doing what she has.

That is their way of thrashing out and letting their feelings out.

When I was younger, mum & dad sent me to a counsellor, albeit I was like 9 or 10. My mum and dad had a very rocky relationship and I've seen my mum flung round a room, blood all over, verbal and abbusive put downs and it didn't stop at mum, it was also me. So they thought, during one of their 'making-up' periods, that if I saw a counsellor, it would help.

Given my age at the time and that dad continued to be as he was, it didn't work for me. I do however agree that counselling is very beneficial to hose of an age where they can understand their surroundings and the situation they're in, so good luck to Danny and this is the start of his road. He may experience ups and downs and may want questions answered, so that is where you need to be strong for him and he can be strong for you in return as he begins to understand the whole situation.

As for Lauren, you just have to give her the benfit of the doubt but still keep a close eye on it. No point in disbelieving her as she'll resent it, but stand your ground also if you have evidence that she has self harmed. I tried to top myself with 87 paracetamols at the age of 14 and I'm still here! Thinking about it now, it was more for a cry for help back then so hopefully, Lauren is asking for help rather than wanting to hurt herself.

You'll be starting your job soon which you said is much closer to home, you can be home more now and spend more time together which can only be good.

I don't know what to say Suz and obviously have not been your situation so can only give advice from my head & heart, rather than experiences. only you know the right thing to do and I'm sure you will make the correct decision. Please employ the help of Pete, even if you just need to confide in him or ask his advice, he is human afterall and will have a wealth of experience behind him.

I'm personally concerned about you going cold turkey on the pills. After about 2 weeks, (speaking from experience now), your head will screw up a bit and you'll need extra strength and willpower to get through, I'm just worried that you may be taking far too much on at once. If you had a cold, you'd still take the Beechams till you feel better.

You know you can reply or PM me so keep strong and focused and you are doing a fab job Suz. Motherhood doesn't come with a manual.

Ang x