feeling absolutely rubbish

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi Guys and Girls

I have had two really bad days after feeling really great last week. Last night I was sat on rocks at the edge of a fastflowing river debating about falling in it just felt right at the time. Lost the connection with the Samaritans but talked my self out of doing it. Eventually returned home with very cold wet feet and trousers. Today has been  a bit better, walking up a Glen in Scotland and cried alot. Couldn't get hold of my councillor. Had a few drinks this evening feeling abit more relaxed. Life is absolutely S***. I thought the 40mg of cit was working but I seem to be ging backwards again.....

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  • Posted

    hi tina, 

    im sorry your having such a rough time, i know its easier said than done but try and think positive, i have been on cit for 8 months now and had a panic attack two weeks ago which set me right back as i had been feeling great! i had all the thoughts of am i ever going to be rid of this anxiety, constant upset stomach and feeling sick being really shakey. however i can now feel myself coming through otherside and even spent the evening by myself yesterday after needing my mum with me in the evenings whilst my husbands at work.

    i really believe exercise is a great help even if its just a little walk in the fresh air.

    and i dont think saying no to having your grand children is being unreasonable, my children are 5 and 3 and i know how much hard work they are! You need to concentrate on yourself and the added stress of looking after your grandchildren in my opinion wouldnt help.

    I really hope you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon

    take care

    amy x 

    • Posted

      I was feeling quite positive this morning, even quite enjoyed my work. I have been doing a lot of exercise since my husband past away to try and get rid of the aggression and excess energy, but again my world has come crashing down this evening.I couldn't even say what's triggered it. At least my car is frozen like a lollypop so I wont be going out driving like a mad woman....Just have to wait for everything to calm down again without self harming as that seems to help calm me down which isn't good either.

      Thank you all for your support it is much appreciated.

      Tina x

      I am in a very long tunnel, no light at the end yet. 

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