Feeling blank, numb empty

Posted , 5 users are following.

Evening folks just making an effort to try and feel something, I feel worryingly calm again, blank, nothing can't even cry. Just want to close my eyes and drift off. That would be so good. Saw Dr today felt a waste follow up of emergency appointment last week. Just keep on controlling myself as best I can. Already taken 5mg diazepam, going to take another to hopefully help me sleep. I jsut don't want to wake up tomorrow.....I need to escape from myself.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Going to take some more now and go to bed as they are  taking effect now, night all. you all take care of yourselves. xx
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  • Posted

    That's some terrible day you had. It must be in the stars because I felt it too. Try and remember how many people love and care for you. Stay positive, don't let the (black dog) win! We're better than that! F&@k depression and the horse it rode in on.

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  • Posted

    Hi Tina. Did your doctor prescribe any other meds? Anti-depressants for instance? Diazepam is highly addictive and should only be used in the short term.
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    • Posted

      Hi Wayne  yes i ahve been on varous anti depressants which made me worse, did try them for well over a year so with support from pyschiatrist I stopped them. I know diazepam is addictive can't remember how long i have been on them quite a while but I am only allowed 4 a week, use to get more every month but after taking too many one time got cut back to weekly prescriptions. I don't take them every day but she seems happy continuing with the prescription if it stopped yes I most probabley get agitated so maybe. I don't rely on them but if I didn't have them sat there I would be annoyed so maybe I am addicted? Bit like alcohol and chocolate if there isn;t any in the cupboard you well me want it. so is that addiction?

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    • Posted

      Been a bad day today too, detached, intrusive thougts visions  lack of concentration but didn't give in and take any diazeoam but did self harn in the loos at work to feel something. 

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    • Posted

      Hi again Tina - something we crave for to the exclusion of all else is an addicttion, where we feel cannot function without it and will go to any length to get it. But if the doc is controlling that, I wouldn't worry too much. Does you doctor know you self harm?

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