Feeling disconnected

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Hi everyone,

I’ve been on citalopram for 3 weeks 20MG which I take for depression and anxitey. The first two weeks were hell, I had many ups and downs and my anxitey was so bad. Now I’m worried, as I feel so detached from everything, Is this normal? 

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  • Posted

    Yes Kate very normal, I remember my first 2 weeks being terrible and the next 2 weeks being a little less terrible. Then improving everso slightly. But morning anxiety came at about 4 weeks which can also happen,  now I have a benzo to cope with that. It’s a tough road which many have travelled before us and have recovered. Keep going day by day and you will make it x x love and blessings
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    • Posted

      Hi, 

      Thanks for messaging. 

      I have never taken any type of this medication before so everything I’m experiencing is very new to me. It’s horrible and this forum is so reassuring knowing that we’re not alone. 

      Hope everything goes well for you. Xx

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    • Posted

      I feel I am getting better, I’m laughing and joking etc.  However, I have had days were I haven’t stopped crying and having to many thoughts. 

      My GP has given me extra 10mg but I’m worried I will go through the side effects again 😫 

      What about yourself? X

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    • Posted

      I am almost 7 weeks in but raised it a week ago to 25mgs and tomorrow I plan to increase to 30 mgs. On the whole I feel I am improving but I was having high anxiety in the mornings on weeks 4-6 that has diminished slightly. I do get a bit bored as I have been off work for 4 months so I may start volunteering somewhere soon just wanna feel slightly better than I do. Are you going to a therapist?? 
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    • Posted

      I am worried about upping my dose, I don’t want to go through some of the side effects again. 

      I’m on 4 weeks now & im starting to feel a little better. Still have down days, like today. I’m still not able to sleep without a sleep aid. I’m still getting intrusive thoughts but able to deal with it slightly better. 

      I’m currently doing CBT, have been doing it for 3 weeks. Seems good so far. 

      How are you doing? Hope you’re well. x

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    • Posted

      HI Kate if you are worried stay  on 20mgs there is no hurry  to  increase give it another month as you are already beginning to feel better. So you are benefiting from CBD then that’s good is that why you can deal with your intrusive thoughts more?? Yes like you have good days and bad and some just flat but am open to improving everyday. Yesterday I went to a folk dance lesson, it was an hour and half I probably danced a whole hour came home feeling very very tired and a little anxious but just watched a movie to distract myself now today is another day. Have a blessed day
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    • Posted

      I have Xanax to take if I really need it so sometimes I take a half which is 0.25 mgs just takes the edge off. After 30 years of nursing and helping many people with depression kinda  funny to be on this end of it!!!
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  • Posted

    Hello, it's early days for you yet, so try not to worry. It's likely to be up to 12 weeks before you feel okay. For first 4 weeks I was up and down, which each lasting a few days. Then I went very flat and a bit anxious for a couple of weeks, no ups or downs. This actually felt worse. I think this is what you are describing as feeling detached. Would you say your ups and downs have stopped a bit? From what i can tell this in indication that cit is working. You will get periods of thinking it's working, and it's not. The main thing is to commit yourself to taking it for 12 weeks, then reflect. This is a difficult recovery, and sharing on this forum will help. I'm 8 weeks on cit, and have just gone through a very anxious week, where I lost confidence in cit working. I think ups and downs get replaced by a few weeks of feeling flat and a bit anxious, followed by higher anxiety. This is where I am it. I'm hoping the anxiety subsides over the next 4 weeks. Stick with it, and this forum is a great help, for trying to understand where you are on the recovery path.

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    • Posted

      Hi, 

      Thanks for the message. 

      It’s a horrible feeling and you can’t help but think you might have something else. 

      It’s good to know that other people are experiencing the same thing. 

      I hate having anxitey because I’m worrying about not worrying because I’ve got so used to worrying! Lol 

      I’ve heard a lot of people say it’s taken them 12 weeks so Im counting down the weeks. I’m staying positive and if I have any concerns I’m seeing my GP. I have also been referred to mental health team, I think it’s just for the reassurance I need. I’ve also started CBT which seems to be going ok. 

      We will all get better soon smile 

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    • Posted

      For a lot of people but not all, it's a case of worse before better. I find getting on them hard but it's worth it in the end.

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    • Posted

      Agree with feeling worse before better. I suppose the worse the state you are in before taking cit, the worse the anxiety will be, and the longer it takes to work. Seems like recovery process starts with see sawing from lows and highs, then flat with mild anxiety, then intense anxiety, which covered first 8 weeks for myself. Im hoping somewhere near recovery comes next. I'm experienced in taking anti depressants, but had no idea it would be this bad.

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    • Posted

      Hello, week 8 on cit. Had a really anxious week last week, where anxiety was intense, and increased each day. Dropped slightly after weekend, but started increasing again during this week. Does anyone know how long this intense anxiety is likely to last for? Also, does it suggest if cit is working or not? Thanks.
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    • Posted

      Hi Nigel I posted but it got kicked. Is the yoga helping with the anxiety?? Are you getting out or are you stuck at home? I believe with all my heart that this will get better. I am holding on for the 12 week mark and Lois and Katecogs both said that the anxiety is the last to go. Keep posting Nigel it will help you and others. Saying one for you Gili
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    • Posted

      Absolutely gilip..the last to go is the anxiety...side effects and anxiety mimic each other that we get confused to which is which...so hang on.for a while I thought that my anxiety have gotten so severe ..that in the long run they where actually side effects of celexa..
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    • Posted

      I am not working at present dont feel well enough but means the day is long I think I may have to volunteer somewhere to get distracted. Dont think I could cope if it is gonna take me 8 months like it did you. Did you see no improvement even a little earlier??
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    • Posted

      Hello gili thanks for your comments. Yes the yoga does help, but my brain is in overdrive, ramping up the anxiety. Last week was so bad, I didn't feel tired all week with it. Also, I sleep on the floor, on a thin mattress. Helps to reduce tension, as you are more grounded. Got 3.5 weeks until 12 weeks is up, although 6.5 weeks for higher dose. Anxiety is very different to highs and lows at the start, so hoping its a sign its working. Going to try some cbd vape tonight, as just got some. Rave reviews about it, but will see. Thanks for your support.

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    • Posted

      Yes, would agree with you volunteering, as a distraction, and making you feel good about doing it. A really good idea.
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    • Posted

      That's what I did I volunteered..and I also went to gym..slow walking on a thread mill... people watching...it help.

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    • Posted

      I know the other side effects are nothing compared to the anxiety and mine is all about the future which hasn’t even happened yet!!! It really helps communicating on here. Everyone has been quiet for a few days, I have missed it. What is CBD vape?? Forgive my ignorance
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    • Posted

      Thanks Lois really appreciate your support. If not for this forum I may have given up on these drugs !! Plus I made a mistake with my dates and I am just coming to 7 weeks not 8 on Cit!! 
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    • Posted

      If it wasn't for Mark, marsh and Lois' experience and advice, and everyone's support, I'd be in a much worse state. Cbd is a non physco active cannabinoid of cannabis. It's the one that's responsible for medical benefits. There are other beneficial cannabinoids in the vape as well. Basically we have cbd receptors, for our own cbd we produce. It's supposed to be very good for anxiety, as it calms our nervous system. I smoked weed a lot in the past to get rid of anxiety and tension. It worked very well, trouble was time passes you by, and you don't do much when smoking cannabis, which is why I stopped. Cbd doesn't have the physco active thc, which gets you stoned and sleepy. Lots of hype about it being amazing for Anxiety., and other conditions. You can vape or ingest cbd. I don't want to smoke cannabis at the moment, as it would be hard to tell if cit is working. Literally just tried cbt vape for first time, and straight away, my gums, lips and soft palate have just gone soft and tingly, as if I'd smoked a joint. I will post in a few days to let you know what it's like. Could just be a placebo effect, but feeling is like smoking a joint, but no high or sleepiness.

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    • Posted

      Yes I have a forum friend that I private message..and she gives her son the same exact thing but in paste form...for her son's anxiety..and it works plus he also takes celexa...I wish I had some ...lol.. although iam recovered..just saying...

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    • Posted

      How's it going? End of the week, another anxious one, though felt very slightly less so. Week 9 next week, so hoping not too much longer. Then again, it's week 6 on higher dose of 40mg. Chatting to my yoga instructor earlier, does an amazing yoga nidra class. She had depression, and used and still uses meditation to recover. She said that your issues do come up while doing it, but stick with it. Also said when she meditated, she does so as an observer of her thoughts, so she doesn't get caught up in them. Lying face down on the floor helps relax me, so will try meditating in that position. That was physical and mental relaxation at same time. Not sure whether cbd vape made any difference or Not, will carry on with it. Read somewhere it can take a month or so before you feel benefits. That sounds too familiar. Another 3 weeks before seeing doctor. Hope anxiety improves by then. All the best.

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    • Posted

      Hi Nigel good to hear from you. Actually you sound a bit better than you did. So glad your yoga teacher does meditation, it’s the chief thing that helps me with morning sadness and anxiety!! I listen to 2 when I wake and 1 before I go to bed. I have been trying to catch the first anxious thought and talk myself out of the fear that causes it. Sometimes I am successful and sometimes not!! Will be so delighted to say goodbye to the anxiety though it’s bt far the worst side effect hands down!! Well done to us that we are still continuing with the meds we are doing well. Looks like the others are not on here at the moment hope they are not in too bad a place!! Blessings gili
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    • Posted

      Hello, with 2 days being at home, have noticed the anxiety isn't so bad. Even joined a dating website today, ha ha. Gone back to meditation, but using just mindfullness following the breath ones, as recommended by my yoga teacher. Seems to produce a more calming effect, unlike the more guided ones, where you visual yourselve favourably. Those seem to get me more anxious. Simple following breath ones seem better. I so hope the anxiety drops this week. All the best everyone.

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    • Posted

      Thats great that meditation is helpful to you I haven’t tried the ones you have mentioned. But may try them tomorrow.  Well done for joining a dating site that is very brave indeed and also seems to indicate you have very much improved!! Well done
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    • Posted

      Is the anxiety Going? Just started week 9 on cit 40mg. After 3 weeks of horrendous anxiety, for the last 3 days, particularly today, it's eased off quite a bit. I had done some good meditation and yoga, but in particular with meditation, lying face down on the floor, on only a thin mattress topper. I also sleep like this. It seems to really ground me, and releases the tension and anxiety. Its probably the cit having more of an effect. Its nice feeling like this, compared to.previously. Need a good couple of weeks like it, to believe I'm getting better.

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    • Posted

      Wow that is brilliant  Nigel I am am So pleased you are feeling better however slightly that is. Here’s hoping you get a good few years feeling like this and better,  you deserve it after all these weeks of side effects. I am still feeling anxiety though less than it was but do slit feel flat a lot. But have had some good days need them to change into weeks and months!! Thanks for tougher my bases. Blessings to you
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    • Posted

      Meant to read thanks for touching bases!
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    • Posted

      How's it going? After a few days of feeling alright, anxiety is back. Thought this time it might have ended. It's 9 weeks on cit, hoping its not much longer. I do seem to have a little more control over my thoughts, just a shame about the anxiety still being there. Have a doctor's appointment second week in April, will discuss then whether cit is right for me. Ive had the anxiety for most of the last 3 weeks, does anyone know how long the anxiety stage lasts for? Thanks.

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    • Posted

      Hi there Nigel does anything in particular set you off. Do you still wake with it?? Like you I have a good couple of days then wham as if from nowhere the anxiety returns. I would have to say it must be the cit side effects. It’s good that you have an app with dr in April I think by then you will really know if it’s for you or not. I hope and pray that it is after all these weeks of suffering. I have wanted to stop taking them many times but I keep thinking what others have said on here about the anxiety being the last to go!!! Has the meditation stopped helping??
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    • Posted

      I constantly worry about things, but less so when I'm not so anxious. I don't think it's one thing that sets it off. I started off on 30mg, then 3 weeks later upped to 40mg. Its been 9 weeks on 30, and 6 on 40. I didn't do any yoga last night, perhaps this is why I'm a lot more anxious today. Joined a dating site on Sunday, when I was in a good mood. Not much point at the moment. I've done a couple of CBT general courses over last 4 weeks. Didn't get much out of it, apart from having to have my anxiety and depression levels measured 4 times over last 4 weeks. These showed no improvements. I ought to know whether cit is working in 3 weeks. If I still feel the same as I do now, I'd probably will have to change meds. Question is, what would be next, and would it be any better?

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    • Posted

      Remember Nigel messing around with the dosages puts you right back to square one...so the six weeks on forty ...is not long enough...you should give the forty 12weeks...
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    • Posted

      Sorry to hear the CBT didn’t do anything I have yet to try that, as Lois says raising a dose means starting the count again!!! But you do feel better overall I mean you joined a dating site that’s progress, no!! 
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    • Posted

      Thanks lois and gilip. Yes, i suppose i feel better, although it's hard to judge. My issue that caused my depression this time around, was how I felt about someone I work with, unrequited love. 9 weeks ago I was alternating between depression, and thinking about something happening with this girl. Now I accept nothing is going to happen, although it still causes me grief when I see her. Then i would imagine what might be with her all the time, now I still think about her, but seem to be able to stop my daydreaming which was tormenting me. I now seem to have some control over thinking about her, which is progress I suppose. You are right about another 6 weeks.

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    • Posted

      Cbt or any of the talk therapys did nothing for me either ..it just made my anxiety worst...the things that did work was celexa exercise white noise cold showers peppermint oil on my temples and human or dog company...
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    • Posted

      That’s good then Nigel progress is progress no matter how small or how slow!! You will get there we all will. Our destination is health, though the journey feels rough today let’s hope tomorrow will be sooooooo much better x 
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    • Posted

      Hello gilip, how is it going for yourself? Are you still getting the bad anxiety? I am today, also really tense. Just over 9 weeks in now, although 6 on the slightly higher dose. This recovery seems never ending. Have an appointment with gp on 6th April. Glad it gives me a couple more weeks on cit. If anxiety hasn't gone by then, I think I'll need to try something else.

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    • Posted

      Hi Nigel yes the anxiety continues but it’s not all day today it started about 4pm.  Yesterday not at all. I think you need to give the higher dose at least 12 weeks. But am glad you are seeing the GP. How was the weed stuff you were trying did it help?? Have you done your yoga lately. I would Ike to know how Manny is doing he started about the same time as us and was suffering bad anxiety!!  Let’s keep going and hoping that like for a lot of people on here our anxiety will drop off very soon. Thanks for keeping in touch
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    • Posted

      Hello, yes still doing yoga. It does help. I think joining the dating site was a mistake for me, worried about it too much. Going to forget about it for now. Anxiety has eased off since deciding that and getting rid of app. I know I have to give it 12 weeks, but that's only 2.5 weeks away. I will give it until then, but I am losing confidence in cit for myself. As for cbd oil, i couldnt tell if it helped or not, a bit like the cit. All the best.

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    • Posted

      Yes still doing yoga, it does help. I've got to give cit at least another 2.5 weeks anyhow. Must admit, I don't think it is working well enough for myself, being honest. Luckily I have to wait 2.5 weeks to see doctor anyway, so have no choice but to carry on with cit. Couldn't tell if cbd oil worked or not. A bit like the cit.

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    • Posted

      I am sorry you think it might not be helping but as you say dr to n 2.5 weeks maybe he will have other ideas, or maybe by then the anxiety will have left. It’s making me so so tired today just like that from nowhere!! Hope you have a very good weekend x
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    • Posted

      How are you feeling today is the anxiety less?? I had a whole day with no anxiety but was tired and slept this afternoon. I am 8 weeks now but 2 weeks on higher dose so really want to give it at least another 4weeks. I have got bored with the meditation and find myself hoping it will end soon!!!
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