Feeling down

Posted , 5 users are following.

Just some advise I feel my parents favour my sister over me they do more for her dad is not real dad but is hers for example it's her 21st and they are taking her away on holiday with a friend a surprise party along with500 hundred pound I got 200 not holiday or party didn't feel like a 21st am I just being a Brat I was more than happy when I got my 200 for my21st but now I just feel a bit now I know what my sister is getting more thN me not sure if I bring a  rat though I don't know why I feel so down about it as I'm not materialistic at all 

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  • Posted

    Rachel

    My family and two Sisters would be the same with me, I was the eldest and my sisters were ten and twelve years younger than me. My two sisters had all the attention and I was later told that I was let to hang when I was ten years old. When I got married we did not even get a wedding present. So I can see how you must feel. All I can do is suggest you talk to your Mother and ask why ? In my case it started a row and it all just made me feel worse as I was brought up by a Surrogate Family.

    Good luck with what you decide to do, I am a pensioner now and my family are alienated from me, I do not know if they are alive or dead. Just a thought to help you on your way.

    If you need to talk I am hear tonight

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Just read your reply...

      i feel very sad for both you and Rachel. I am one 3 girls. My mum has always been fair. It's not right to give one more than the other I would feel left out and wonder why. Your advice to Rachel to ask why is good ra her than keep it in I guess.

       You've shared your personal story and I think you are great!!

      is it too late for you Bob?

      maybe it's somewhere you don't want to go now... too much water under the bridge and all.

      Take care

      Vicky

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    • Posted

      Vicky

      Yes it is we have moved a good distance from where they are and My Mother is most probably dead by now. None of my family know where we are and we live in different circumstances where we are hidden

      BOB

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    • Posted

      I'm sorry to hear that truly.. Families hey. They say yo can't choose them.

      Although my mum gives us all the same I do not and have not got on with one of my sisters. We hate each other well she hates me looks down on me. I can't stand that. So we keep well apart!

       When you say "we're appart "  does that mean that you've people like in your life now and that you're not on your own of hope not.

      You are always so kind in here

      Take care

      Vicky

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  • Posted

     hi there Rachel 

    obvs I just read your post.

     I have been lucky and all three Daughters were and are treated the same. I don't think  you are being a brat at all.

    Bob said why not ask why it's different for your sister than you. Could it be financial maybe they have more now than  when you were 21. Just a thought.

    i wood feel as you do but there maybe a reason as simple as I said.

    ask see what they say say how you feel. It may help

    really feel for you right now!!

    Vicky

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Rachel - your post has brought back my childhood. I was twin who was completely rejected by my mother who doted on my brother. This was a permanent state of being and I spent my childhood wondering what I could possibly have done so wrong to be so despised by my own mother. I gave 100% to everything, trying to break through that ice. I was tormented by the nightmare that one day my friends would suddenly see something in me that was so flawed, so horrible, so unforgivable that they would reject me outright, just like my mother and that i would be alone. My achievements (surprisingly, there were many) were dismissed, scoffed at, or (perversely) even punished, as if there was some crime in being more able than my brother. 

    The result was a lifelong depressive disorder, addictions, suicidal ideation, and the endless feeling that i just was not good enough - even when it was clear that I really was. It was years before I realised that there had been nothing wrong with me. She was the problem. 

    Now (in my 50's) I am regarded by the family - even mother herself - as the stable one, the sensible one, the one who has made a difference. To you, Rachel, I would say just roll with it. Smile. Hug yourself and know that you are special no matter what. It's not a nice feeling to be left out, but things have a way of working out. I hope your sister isn't gloating about receiving more than you do.

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  • Posted

    Hey,

    This is not something to really worry about, This is a kind of a tendency that is commonly seen among siblings, At one point of time we all have felt that our parents favor the other child more than us, However it may not always be true.

    Try to understand this situation from your parents point of view. There must be a reason for their behaving in a particular way. May be they consider you to be much more mature and that is why they dont feel the need to spring surprises at you. Just as you said that don't really care about gifts etc, . But may be your sister does, So your parents feel the need of celebrating of her birthday in a particular way.

    If this doesn't really satisfy you then, there is another way out. Probably the best way to help you out is to directly speak to your parents about it. Tell them how you feel. May be they understand and a solution that fits you both can be arrived on. Holding on to things like this and feeling down only proves to be detrimental to our relations in the long run.

    Take care

    GOOD LUCK!!

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