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I've suffered from health anxiety for a few months now. Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of it but really it's just under the surface and it always comes back. The longest ice gone without it is 2 weeks.
It's getting so bad that I feel depressed. I'm absolutely terrified of death and dying because it's the unknown, some people say that because it's the unknown, it's nothing to be frightened off because I will be none the wiser but I don't find that comforting. I'm not religious so I don't believe in an after life. I've never seen a ghost and don't know if I believe in them. I would like to think that when I die that I will be reunited with my family, my grandma. But I don't know that. And it frightens the hell out of me.
I am constantly convinced that I will have a stroke, heart attack or bleed on my brain. I smoke. I don't smoke many a day, I've cut down massively because every cigarette I smoke I think 'what if this cigarette will be the one to clog up my arteries and I will have a stroke?'
The anxiety symptoms are awful and they are similar symptoms to a lot of serious illnesses so I am always worrying and can never accept that it is anxiety. I am basically just waiting to die and this is a life that I do not want to lead. I really don't see the point in my life. I am thinking that maybe death would be a better option, even though I'm terrified of it, it can't be worse than how I feel right now?
I have a lot of medication in my house and stopping myself from taking it is really hard. I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm trapped in my awful mind and I want out. I can't see any other way out.
0 likes, 12 replies
louise1974 anonymousgirl21
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anonymousgirl21 louise1974
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louise1974 anonymousgirl21
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anonymousgirl21 louise1974
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shari44593 anonymousgirl21
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337amys anonymousgirl21
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You should call your doctor or go to the Emergency Room and tell them that you are extremely depressed and suicidal. They are professionals and can help you get back to feeling better.
anonymousgirl21 337amys
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337amys anonymousgirl21
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anonymousgirl21 337amys
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I know people younger than me who receive counselling. My GP is just useless.
337amys anonymousgirl21
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anonymousgirl21 337amys
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Anxiety is strange, some days I feel really weak and like I'm a failure and feel depressed and then some days when I manage to overcome it I feel strong and pleased with myself.
Just gotta take each day as it comes I suppose x
kristina16197 anonymousgirl21
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