Feeling hopeless
Posted , 7 users are following.
The last month a half have been complete hell for me and I don't see things improving. I have been suffering from severe anxiety which started when I had a stomach flu. I have suffered from GAD for almost three years and have been able to keep it under control. A month a half ago I got sick with a stomach flu and my anxiety went crazy as it generally does when I'm sick. The problem this time is that I am no longer sick but my anxiety has been running my life. I have had to call off almost two weeks of work because I can't function. When my anxiety gets out of hand so does my depression as my depression occurs due to my anxiety. Right now I have hit a low and just can't get the thoughts out of my head that I'd be better off dead. I know this is both my anxiety and depression causing these feelings but I just feel hopeless. I had a doctors appointment today and it went horribly, I didn't even see my doctor instead I saw a nurse. All I wanted was a referral to a mental health professional and she told me I would have to wait several months. During this appointment I told her about my anxiety and how my depression has gotten so bad that I had really put thought into my plan, and she asked if I was going to act on it and when I said I don't know she told me that there really wasn't cause for concern then. I just want to get my anxiety under control so my depression can go away but I have no support from my doctor. It just seems like everything I do to try to make me better ends up turning up with no result or with someone making me feel worse about it. I feel that there is no light at the end of this bleak tunnel and that I will be this way forever. I am so tired of pretending I'm okay when I literally think of ending everything daily. I just wish someone would take me seriously and stop telling me its just my anxiety. Sorry for the long rant I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I'm in constant fear and worry because of my anxiety and then I don't care about anything because of my depression and feeling those two things at once is hell. I just want to be back to my normal.
1 like, 11 replies
jmcg2014 tiffany78590
Posted
It's better to be on the waiting list for help than not be on it. It does take time, sadly that's the same for everyone but it's worth the wait
tiffany78590 jmcg2014
Posted
yasmine333 tiffany78590
Posted
Hi honey.
Really sorry to hear you're going through such a horrible time. You've done all the right things by going to your doctors, being open & honest about how you're feeling & by coming on here. At least you know you're not alone in how you feel.
The nurse you saw sounds incompetent. She should not have dismissed you like that, please keep trying to get help, a different nurse or doctor. I got a referral from my GP to IAPT for counselling & it has helped a lot.
I completely understand how frustrating it is when you feel like no-one is listening or taking you seriously but there are people who genuinely want to help it’s just finding it. Call your doctors every single day if you have to – you need someone that can guide you in the right direction whether that be therapy, medication, counselling etc. There are options out there so don’t give up on yourself, you deserve to be happy. Always here if you need to talk x
tiffany78590 yasmine333
Posted
Thank you so much for your reply. I feel like my doctors office just doesn't want to deal with me and its easier for them to say its anxiety then checking to see of ot could be something else. Its just so s****y feeling thos way. I have started Zoloft so I am going to see how that goes I am hoping for the best.
yasmine333 tiffany78590
Posted
Yeah I completely understand. I'm glad you've got some meds that's a massive step forward. Hope they help. Keep at them & remember to always ask for help when you need. Wish you all the best. Let us know how you get on x
bytheseaside tiffany78590
Posted
Hi. Just want you to know you're not alone. I feel the same way - hopeless - waiting for some kind of blinding insight to revitalize me, but it never comes, year after year after year, my gosh. And things keep happening which make me want to throw in the towel. I personally don't believe I'll ever be able to function normally in the world - I'm disabled! - but I just tackle it one day at a time knowing it's all temporary anyway, and mostly an illusion. Just do your best given your circumstances, that's all. No one cares.
bytheseaside
Posted
Okay, that's not true. People do care but it's up to the person struggling to find a way through it. The society can offer you various things, yes, but it's up to the person to defeat the demons. And perhaps meds can help.
tiffany78590 bytheseaside
Posted
I get that for sure, I had a friend tell me something that made me smile, they said that I was very brave as I face the option of death everyday and I chose to stay and battle on for another day. I've never thought of it that way I just always think aboit it always negatively but when you think of it we are pretty awesome as we fight everyday and that is brave caise we haven't given up. We are warriors of our own minds and that's pretty badass.
mauiblue tiffany78590
Posted
Tiffany
I can only tell you that I feel for you entirely. Oh my goodness i can relate.
How long have you been like this and do you have small moments or days where you feel better?
Its exhausting to have to pretend to the world. I do not know how old you are etc. but ive come across the anxiety and depression right around peri/menopause...and have been dealing with it day to day, hour to hour for about 5 months now..
So much dreading over just the basic responsibilities of life..can i get enough sleep to make it to work? Can i keep it together?
I don't even know at this point if its hormones, and its really seeming like it will never end, and Im so tired of trying to figure it all out in my head. I just dont get it.
I feel for you, and I do not understand whats going on with our society...sooo many discussions and people part of this depression and anxiety. Its frightening.
All i can say is 'be strong' and write me if you need to talk.
xx
tiffany78590 mauiblue
Posted
Hey
I'm 25 and have been dealing with anxiety for almost three years now. For a while 2.5 years I was able to manage my anxiety, I would have random panic attacks here and there but I would just practice my breathing and relaxation techniques and that seemed to help. The last two months however, have been hell for me. My mood is erratic one minute I'm crying and then the next I'm raging, which is not normal for me. I'm generally a pretty chill person. I have maybe had three days that were good out of the last two months and then the rest are pretty lousy. I'm either in constant fear that something bad is going to happen to me, or I'm crying cause I am in so much pain from headaches, muscle tension and just feeling unwell. My depression is at an all time low as I just don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've started Zoloft but feel that is giving me these severe headaches but I want to stick through it because apparently it is a miracle drug for anxiety and depression.
Hope you are well and sorry you have to go through this.
mauiblue tiffany78590
Posted
Hi Tiffany
I noticed that my post to you was deleted by the moderator. ? I wonder what i could have possibly said tha was so bad? hmm
well i will try again, as I see you wrote me.
You are young, How long have you been on the Zoloft? I guess its a waiting time for your brain's chemistry to adjust.
Have you usually had a lot of hormonal moods around your cycle or is it steady?
I am also so put off by how you were handled at the docs office.Mental health support in the US sucks.
I can only tell you that you need to stay the course and dont give up.
Things have to turn around. Are there days that feel completely normal to you or is it mostly dark?
Things will change. Trust me.
I myself am looking at epigenetics, and just how our brains often times can not handle certain things or are lacking in them. I would like to post more about what im learning so others can share also.
Just hang in there, there HAS to be a solution, and there is.
Kauaiblue
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