Feeling hopeless

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I have some stupid mistakes in my life and I am paying heavily for this Episode. #1 october 29,2014 I had protected vaginal sex with a female csw.I also french kissed her.Later found the girl HIV +.After 5 weeks I experienced severe flue type illness.Swollen lymph nodes under jaw and neck,loose stool,hedeach,severe muscle and joint pain,rash on both arm. I have tested after 3 months with 3rd generation rapid test,after 5 months with 3rd generation elisa, after 6.5 months with 3rd generation rapid test.All are negative.#Episode 2 November 17 2015 I was with a female csw..We were fully naked.The girl offered me to have unprotected sex with her.As far as I can recall I didn't penetrate the girl but my penis came close to her vagina.Now my mind says if I penetrated the girl without my knowing though I didn't feel anything. Episode 3# July 16 2017 I had protected oral and protected vaginal sex with a female csw.Dont know why? Vaginal part only lasted 10-15 seconds.The girl seemed a consistent condom user.No real symptom aftee 1-4 weeks. Episode 4 # October 17 2017 I had protected vaginal sex with a csw.She offered me to have sex without a condom for extra charge.But she assured me she gets tested every month. Now you are thinking whats the real problemActually Im experiencing the symptom of overt aids.Loosing weight,peripheral nuropathy,fatigue,dizziness,swollen lymph nodes,loose stool,stomach upset,nail fungus,clubbing nail and slight dementia are making my life hell.My doctor who is the best HIV doctor of my country suggests me to see a psychriatist.He says it is inpossible to develop aids due to first exposure because all of my ab tests are negative and it is very unlikely to develop aids in a very short time after second and third exposure I dont know what to do? I cry and pray to God.Ive ruined my life. 

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  • Posted

    The timeline you present is a little confusing. I sounds like you have been sick since the end of 2014? (when you go your first severe flu like illness). When was the last time you had an HIV test? It sounds like you haven't had one since the year after the first episode of illness? If you haven't had one since episode #4 you should definitely do another one as the latest tests can usually give accurate results less than a month after exposure and you are well past that. If it is positive the sooner you get on treatment the better and if you are not positive you still need to figure out what is making you so sick.

    I don't know what country you are in but there are other illnesses that can be chronic and have the diverse symptoms you mention such as lyme disease or syphilis if they are not treated, various parasites and viruses or chronic syndromes like ME/CFS. You should probably see some other doctor, such as an infectious disease specialist. A psychiatrist may be able to help you cope but it sounds like you have some sort of chronic infectious illness.

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  • Posted


    Simply get a full panel STD test if offered in your country or get one more HIV test to forget your worries.

    The story seems a big confusing and even the doctor doesn’t seem like a doctor but I pray you’ll be okay! You don’t have AIDS!

    & please be careful with the CSW you seem to be around a lot .

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  • Posted

    I think your doctor is right, you did not catch hiv from firest one, and you were always protected, so you were safe. But if the fear remaind do a test and move on with your life.

    You are welcome to send me a private message and we figure out what is happening.

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