Feeling lost and very unsure and have no right to feel this way!

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi all,

I am new to this site and have spent a long time reading through some of the posts and it seems to make me feel even worse for posting anf feeling the way I do.

I am a 30 year old man from the UK and have a wife and son who is 4 years old.  My wife is now pregnant with our second child.

Just before Christmas I started feeling quite low, lethargic and ver snappy all the time.  Didn't enjoy doing the things I used to so I went to the doctros and they said I had depressiona nd gave me some tablets (not sure what they were).  I never spoke to anyone else within my family about this, not even my wife.  I took the tablets for a while but couldn't see that they did anything and thought I was just being silly and to get on with it as I have eveything anyone could ever want.

These feelings never really went away and recently they have come back with a vengence.  No matter how much I sleep I am constantly drained and cannot motivate myself.  I struggle to concentrate at work and at home and just feel so low.

I hate the way I feel because all I continually feel like is that I am letting my wife and son down so much.  I love my son more than anything and he is my world and he will always want to play with me but I find myself being dismissive and then I hate myself for it but cannot snap out of this cycle.

Writing this post I find myself getting quite emotional because it is the first time I have been openly honest about how I am feeling.  I am sorry that this probably seesm so trivial compared to a lot of posts on here but an help anyone could offer would be greatly appreciated. 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Tommy, please go back to your GP about this. The tablets he/she gave you would have been a type of anti depressant. These do not work for at least 4 - 6 weeks, so you need to give them time to work. Also these pills tend to make you feeel very drowsy and spaced out for a few days so you have to give them time to work. It sounds as though you have a chemical imbalance which is causing your depression, as there doesn't seem to be anything in your life that could have triggered it. Anti depressants are the best sort of treatment in these cases where there appears to be no trigger for the depression.
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  • Posted

    Hi Tommy don't diss your feelings please.  If you feel them then they are valid.  I think it is great that you have posted and are talking about your feelings for the first time.   You have taken the first very brave step and now you need to see your doctor as it does sound like you have depression.  Meds and/or counselling might be able to help. 

    The most important thing is to communicate with others - I know this is not easy as even these days mental health issues are misunderstood and are seen as a weakness.  They are not!  Depression is an illness just like any other and needs treatment.  After all if you broke your leg you would get it fixed wouldn't you?

    Many people will suffer mental ill health at some point in their lives so we all need to be much more open and understanding about it.  I read somewhere that the leading cause of death in men between 45-60 is suicide and that is obviously because they are least reluctant to talk about it.  So good for you.

    This is a very supportive and helpful site and we all understand what you are going through so stick with us here and we will do our best to support and help you as we do with each other.  Well done for coming in.  x


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  • Posted


    depending where you live, you can do a self-referral to your local Community Health TrM so that you would have commons to talk to.  You also need to tell your wife as she's bound to have noticed that you have changed and will be worried about you.

    you're may be on a sedative antidepressant and that's what's making you so shattered all the time and so you need to be weaned off that one and out on one that will "pep" you up.

    best wishes


    antidepressants can take up to 6 weeks to have any effect and often, as I know to my cost they don't get the right one first time.  They still have 't found one for me and I'm now on my 4th one.   

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  • Posted

    i would find more info on pill and what side effects they give before i would take it. i take cit and its a crazy pill, makes me feel tired, no energy. but i try my hardest to keep my self motivated to keep on feeling lazy. i hated the feeling also. try to get some energy and enjoy your son and be joyfull while you can for we cant go back in time to correct it.
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  • Posted

    Talk to the wife. Talk to your GP. There's nothing wrong with feeling low or tired. I agree you may not be depressed it may just be a chemical imbalance. That can lead to having issues that then make you depressed. So try to get on top of this before other problems arise. You may have another medical reason for feeling tired. Good luck with everything.
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