Feeling low and horrible thoughts again!!

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Hi all

Firstly a happy Christmas Eve I hope you all have a good one! 

I and now nearly 7 weeks about 6 and a half weeks on 20mg citalopram for depression anxiety and intrusive thoughts! Last month and this month the week running to my period I have been low stressed and thoughts again this is so annoying as after that I felt great I know it's stressful time of year but it's annoying that I did have great few days and weeks but I just want to know that this is normal or could it still be a side effect I just don't want to increase my medication as it is early days and I hope this will go away! I am very lucky to have three beautiful boys and I have one sick baby at the moment so I have not been sleeping great last night I woke with panic and so did he so no sleep for a while! Is this normal at this stage??

Thanks 

Emz xx

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24 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi emz, I'm slightly ahead of you on the citalopram and think this is perfectly normal. I had a little blip about a week ago, feeling really rubbish and not sleeping well, getting a bit panicky and edgey. I've put it down to the festive season creeping up with lots going on (I don't react well with too many things to plan a do) but only this morning whilst sat having a cuppa I was thinking how well I feel today!! Don't try to dwell on it too much, I bet if you think back to how you were when you first started taking citalopram, you'll realise how far you've come.....that's what I do, it doesn't happen overnight and I think we may all have our dark days. But they do get better. Hope you have a happy christmas xx 
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    • Posted

      Thanks Kay it's all I want to hear is that it's normal!! I'm defo not as bad as I was at the start but it's different! I am a worrier at the best of times and like you I don't react well to stress and too much going on!! Thanks for your reply very appreciated! Glad you have got thru the blip! Have a wonderful Xmas and a better 2015!! 

      AML

      Emz xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Emz - two separate issues here - yes, its normal to have some low points early on with cit - it really doesn't settle down completely until about 3 months in.  Secondly, with everything you have to deal with and Christmas on top, I personally think you're coping better than most in such stressful circumstances.  Chin up girl, it will get better and the New Year will see you looking back and thinking, 'glad that's over'.  Happy Christmas and good luck hon. xx
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    • Posted

      Thank you loxie for your reply I am so glad to hear I'm not going back to square one! I have so much on I hope it settles once the big mans been and gone and we can all relax!! You a star have a wonderful christmas xx

      Emz xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Emz

    I think because you are fragile your setback is most likely due to worry about your baby, and lack of sleep. If the meds were working before then they will probably keep working for you. Every little thing in the early weeks of depression can trigger what feels like a relapse but I think a good nights sleep and a well baby, will put you back into recovery. Sure hope so. Happy Christmas eve to you too. ps: as a mother we tend to worry more about our children than is healthy for us. For those of us who suffer from depression, we dont take setbacks in our stride. All the best to you and enjoy the excitement of your childrens xmas, and try not to overthink the meds thing. From someone who understands and cares. Big hugs xxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much Abella for your kind reply I am so glad it's normal I just was going so well then pms plus Xmas and a sick baby! Big hugs back have a wonderful new year xx

      Emz xx

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  • Posted

    Hi there.  I am on citalopram to balance my hormones out and the week before my period is always the worse.  This is a subject so close to my heart as in 2008 I had a massive breakdown due to high fluctuations of hormones entering perimenopausal years.  Hormones effect 400 bodily functions including increased anxiety, depression etc. etc. our brain chemicals are quite complex - have trained in a drug rehab centre (christian).  A lot of women need extras estrogen for the week before their period.  But anxiety in woman or depression is common with hormone fluctuations like through menopause etc. it just isn't discussed.  A good GP is essential.  Hope this is of use.  God bless X
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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie 

      Thanks so much for your reply! I totally can relate to this I have always had trouble with my periods and hormones!!! Whilst on the pill I got worse typically because it was obviously the wrong type for me!! I think my GP mention before about ref me to gynae for PMDD we have tried anti depressants which have worked apart from the week b4 my period so maybe I should see gynae for the correct treatment to suppress ovulation. Thanks so much for your recommendation I will Search out the book! Thanks and happy new year! 

      Emz x

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    • Posted

      Hi emz,

      I've been on citalopram for 6 weeks today. 3 weeks at 20mg didn't feel any better, then 40 mg for last 3 weeks, had a couple weeks of relative normality and gone back last few days, anxiety, low mood and intrusive thoughts, I'm hoping that this is a blip, was feeling so much better. Gutted. I have had my period during the time of the last week, always seems to increase my anxiety.

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    • Posted

      Hi Chrissy 

      I hope your feeling better soon Hun it's awful but we will get there what makes me think it's my period is when it comes I feel so much better! Why my gp is reluctant to increase and maybe try another method of treatment during the run up to my period! Thanks for your message and happy new year xx

      Emz x

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply, it's strange, my anxiety gets worse during my period. Are you feeling better again now? How long did your blip last.?
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    • Posted

      Happy new year to you too.  Don't want to seem like a know it all.  Or bore you with this and that.  As don't know your age etc. etc.  So glad citalopram has levelled you out b4 period.  I never had PMDD before hormones drastically dropped.  This is because always had too much oestrogen as my ovaries were hyper.  Pill couldn't take as it made me worse and bouncing off the ceiling - never slept.  I have been labelled severe.  The professor I am under is brill.  But I hate to tell you suppressing your ovaries isn't going to work.  You will still have a cycle running in the background - watched a programme by Prof. Weis - think how you spell his name - they used to whip ovaries out for a past time - for women with this - to no avail, believe you me I would have sent my ovaries to the their grave (and had a really good party too), but Prof stopped me - wasn't them.  They had to shut my pituitary down for a while to give me a break!!! drastic!!! last resort.  Gp's mm - that's all got to say on that subject - there are good ones out there don't get me wrong - but not many who understand or even empathize.  The book you can only get it on amazon or ebay as it comes in from America - you will love it - she suffered herself and is a professor etc. etc in endocrinology and mental health (as the two run so close together).  The reason before your period is oestrogen drops and this is our feel good factor.  Without it pain increases and all sorts - I couldn't even think straight or function.  Any way long and short there is help - but you need like me to do a lot of research - went to pituitary organisation - found professor under - learnt all I could - you can ask who you want to see - not who they recommend - as it is endocrinology that you need to end up under as gynae still won't have the right answers for you.  I am on evorel conti patches - brill.  Again unfortunately to balance you out it isn't the pill but hrt - which is small dose of the pill - know people got pregnant on it.  Long and short my PMDD (Severe) all gone!!!!!  Patches best as don't run out over night steady input - have my life back - learning Spanish - when return to England can get back on course and still undecided whether to do a degree in  mental health - as helped lots in this area or degree in this area - again helped lots in this area - as I feel so sorry for woman that have to suffer for no reason and don't get the right answers, same with mental health - I could and have cried a bucket Xx.  
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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie 

      Thanks for your reply I do also have depression and anxiety exacerbated by my period which I can handle just annoying and I guess it's still early days with the citalopram! Funny enough I have seen this thru the years I am a diabetic / endocrine nurse I have colleagues professors who would gladly see me if I wanted so I can have a chat with them! I studying midwifery at the min but when I'm in work I'm fine my mind focus' on work so god only knows what happens when I go home and stress out! Thanks for your advice I will source the book! 

      Emz 

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Emz,

      Brill, glad you have colleagues as you can source the best one for you - the professor I see is diabetic / endocrine - so is the nurse I have spoken to at pituitary org. Alison is her name lovely lady.  This is because the pituitary comes under endocrinology.  Good luck and keep us posted.  Once they balance you out - no more citalopram - you won't believe the difference!!!!  

      Mel X 

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    • Posted

      Hi Emz,

      Been real busy and body being messed about as the injections they gave me to shut my pituitary down, stopped my periods for 18 months, then had nigh on 3 months worth of periods, then went to one every 2 weeks and now because of the patches haven't had one for over a month.  Feel like don't know if coming, going or been, mind you since 39 (6 years) ago have had a roller coaster from hell with hormones, as said, and in my travels, have met loads of woman who have experienced similar.  One of my friends was a police woman, then went on to be a social worker and now doing mental health.  She has taken on quite a few - mainly most around perimenopausal to menopausal age woman who in some degree or other, she has come to the conclusion are in this situtaion due to their hormones.  (She also suffers with PMDD).  Would really like to do a good discussion on how hormones effect the brain etc. etc.  Could I run some stuff past you before I post it, please?  Oh had a thought if you would like to ponder this - work is a place where we achieve and therefore get a lot of gratification from it (as long as in a job we enjoy) - home taken for granted and demanded of - hence good sense of wellbeing at work and stress from the home environment!!  Hope you feeling better.

      Mel X

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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie! 

      Ach don't worry Hun! Sounds great about the chat Hun! My hubby says If I mention the word hormone again I will turn into one ha ha!! My GP suggested in August after discussing my symptoms that it may be PMDD I have but we started citalopram 20mg in oct next step was the pill also! I'm hoping the longer and less stress I have I feel better and can cope better!! But that's steps I must take thanks Hun! 

      Emz xx

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    • Posted

      Hi guys sorry to but in..

      I have been to hospital today as was feeling suicidal just before my period. They have upped my dose from 20 to 30 cit. I do however think my severe reactions and thought s are related to hormones as it's always worse around that time.

      I've had no luck at hospital with this theory as they said they measured my hormone levels vefore and they were ok. I should also mention I am trying to concieve and have had a few early miscarraiges. I feel depression is linked so much to my hoemones. Can you let me knowa ny details of people that can help?

      Thank you so much and good luck to you both xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Caramax,

      Oh I so feel for you and can empathize.  Where to start.  In this country they haven't got a clue.  You can only get true readings of hormones if they are done at the right time - as they change minute by minute.  Like you I miscarried early on.  My mum was the same and had to have progesterone injections to keep me.  So that is the first indication that your hormones are not right.  What happens is your oestrogen levels drop just before your period, which is your feel good factor.  2ndly the feelings, thoughts and emotions that you are having is because it is taking you so low - not many people will tell you this, but they are normal, due to this.  My period way late, arrived, but because they are drastically trying to balance mine out over the last few months, all sorts going on, I felt like just sitting there and giving up too - but it is just a feeling and because of my training thoughts come and go and I don't focus on them.  I have so much I could tell and help you through.  I know a lady who like you, and me, they got her pregnant on HRT to stop her miscarrying. Where to go for help.  Which area are you in?  

      Your not alone and there is people that can help you it is just about doing research and getting you to see the right ones.  I have been through it all and don't want you to experience what I had to because GP's wouldn't listen etc. etc.  You can find and ask to go and see who you like.

      Big hugs Mel Xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Mel

      Thanks so much for your reply x

      It's good to hear from somewhere has been there and glad you have got some resolution and find ways to handle it. I live in East London and so far from my research and asking the docs the resources and help for this kind of thing is pretty much non existant. They just tell me to take cit, eat healthy and keeo trying to get pregnant, while everymonth I am floored by this thing.

      I will defo get the book and start there and try and see an Endocrinologist too. I have struggled so much with my depression but it is magnified x 100 just beofre my period to the point of where I simply can't cope and this week was worse than usual but your post has given me some hope that I may get some help and answers to sort this out. 

      Warmest wishes

      xx

       

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    • Posted

      Hi Caramax,

      I so feel for you and glad that this has given you hope.  Don't give up my mum nearly did as they told her she was imagining the miscarriages - she got to two months pregnant.  Then a lovely doctor in the hospital told her to go straight to her when she thought she was pregnant and they started her straight on progesterone injections.  It took her 7 years of heartache before she got me and a sore bottom!  I can't believe they have told you what they have!!  Mm can't write what I would like.  Mum's womb wasn't thickening up enough.  I went through IVF in London because I would miscarry as soon as pregnant as I would ovulate straight on top and that made me miscarry.  Plus my womb wouldn't thicken up.

      Firstly what I would do is look for a new GP that specialises in womens well being.  Luckily I had lots of contacts in my area, but if you just reach out there must be groups in your area and I can suggest some if you want that suffer the same as you.  I can definately assure you the depression is your hormones.  One woman I met had suffered all her life and then on having her ovaries removed and having HRT - hey ho her depression went.  It was because she wasn't producing enough estrogen.  I can tell you so many stories.

      Secondly when I knew I needed HRT but the hopsital told me I didn't - I rung up and got through to a lovely lady who recommended some one who specialised in a town near me that I could see about HRT as I was only 39.  If you ring in to a hospital, again I would do some research for recommendations in to infertility - as miscarriages come under this and you can get yourself referred to specialists like me as my old GP said my hormones weren't the problem - but I asked to see the professor I am under and they can't stop you.  I continued to battle with that GP until I found the new one I am under who can't do enough to help me.

      I hope and pray that you find the right people, but know you will, but it is definately the infertility clinics you need to start in.  

      I would have no prob helping you if you need some extra support in your search.

      Biggest hugs

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie

      Thank you so much for your in depth reply and help. It really is very nice of you. I am being refereed to the reocurring miscarriage people and they said they will do loads of test  - yeah. So I will ask them and explain I need to talk to a HRT specialist. I am so nervous I maybe getting the menopause early as I am 38 and desperatly want to get pregnant.

      The cit is helping with depression from other issues a little but my hormones still completley out of wack.

      Will keep looking into it and thank you again for your replies.

      Emz sorry for butting in and hope you arefeeling better and get some resolve xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Caramax,

      This is my heartfelt area and if I can help any one so they don't have to suffer like I did at the hands of GP's no probs.

      A lady I know got pregnant on HRT - so don't worry - hrt is great at balancing you out but make sure you get patches they don't wear off like tab's and if pos natural oestrogen.  I have a name of a real great specialist if you ever need it.

      All the best and good luck to you.  Keep us posted.

      Big hugs.

      Mel xx

      p.s. so glad you are getting some where xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie.  Only just seen your post and read it with interest.  Peri menopause and during menopause I was on Evoril too they were excellent. patches did cause small allergic irritation to skin but nothing too bad except they caused the skin to get moist and sometimes slid off - which one time was very embarrassing as the patch managed its way down inside my stockings to my ankle smile.  I am now post menopause and my GP wont prescribe HRT anymore, sadly.  I have mood swings, raised cortisol, digestive issues, hair loss etc., all they would prescribe was cit and it made me very ill and worsened the hair loss badly.  I really wish as they do in the USA and in Europe they would consider post menopause HRT here in England as the benefits vastly outweigh the risks and I'd have a 'cure' to a whole range of health problems for which I'd otherwise have to take a cocktail of drugs and cant/wont do so.  
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    • Posted

      Oh I so feel for you.

      The professor I am under has said I can stay on the patches for ever and a day no probs.  Some GP's say this but as you say the pro's way out weigh the con's.  You can find in your area a GP that specialises in womens well-being and she would have no prob's putting you back on them or find a gp that you are more happy with that will - we don't have to take their advice the effects of having no or little oestrogen can be real deterimental to some women!!

      Good luck and best wishes.

      Big hugs.  Mel Xx

      p.s. I have changed GP's due to my hormones and found the one I am under through recommendations and she can't do enough to help me or my hormones!!!

      Hope you don't have a repeat of the stockings incident - lol.

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