feeling scared and desperate

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been on the peri rollercoaster for 4 yrs now, and just as i think i have learned to muggle through the barrage of symptoms a new and even scarier one seems to raise its ugly head. Im new to this site, but boy has it helped reading these stories. Id love to print these off and show them every doc ive ever seen, i can finally see that i am not a mystery, i am not a hysterical woman, all things ive been called in past. what id really like to know is do any of you ladies ever feel well? if its not my stomach its my joints, or my chest pain, migraines or flu like symptoms, or theres always the dreaded palps and anxiety. i feel like one just seems to be vanishing as another gets bad. i have had 6 periods in this time each between 6 to 8 mnths apart. sorry this post is long and rambling 2 nights with next to no sleep makes me waffle on hehe. hope today finds you all well and symptom free

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  • Posted

    Hi Sharon,

    I agree with you about it being a rollercoaster journey. I could have going through this peri for quite sometime but perhaps without really knowing. For me something felt so different inside from Nov 2012 and since then I am more aware of different things and have gone through the journey (and still do from time to time)

    • Posted

       Sorry pressed the wrong key!

      still experience the doom and gloom and the fear that something horrible is wrong when I know I have had complete health checks so should be happier and more at peace. There are times though that I actually feel like my old self and to be fair that during the last year since I have come on this forum I have learnt so much which helps put things into perspective and helps me shift these thoughts! 

      I am on low dose of HRT patches and believe these have helped a great deal as my blips only seemed to come when I was brewing up for a period after having missed one previously. 

      I guess we don't know how long our journey is with these symptoms and it can get so frustrating when you are back in a good place to then go have another blip. 

      I know for me that stress and being around high maintenance people sets me back so I do try and keep my distance from them.

      If I had one wish is to get my old self back as before 2012 I was never at the doctors unless the usual girlie check ups but I guess before too long I will have a sat named after me the amount of times I have visited the doctors in the two years!! 

      I have found two lovely female GP's who have been really patient with me and I seem to mock me in making me feel that I need to be put on antidepressants

      It does get easier the bad times are becoming fewer and far between and I am understanding a lot more that these feelings I do get are quite normal.

      massive hugs to you and hope you have a great weekend. 

      Joy🌹🌞

       

    • Posted

      ty for your reply, lets hope the journey isnt going to continue for much longer for all of us. i think i had been in peri a little before the 4 yrs, but thats when the real bad symptoms started. Just wish id found this site earlier, would have probably saved me feeling so much of a fraud.
    • Posted

      Only about 6 weeks ago I started to feel this heavy cloud lift from me and went back to feeling positive and happy again and last months bleed came without any feeling of PMT etc and went just as quickly. I am due on any day now and for the passed week I have felt really up tight inside (not snappy) just feeling inside and feel like I can't wait for this to happen as normally I go back to feeling positive and happy again. Before 2012 I never really suffered with PMT so all of this has come to me as a bit of a shock and do hate this feeling.

      This forum has been a godsend as we are able to share our experiences with ladies who are feeling the same as we do and no one laughs at you or makes you feel a fraud or that you are going loopy loo like my own Mother has done to me, going round telling others that I have got medical issues! Not the thing I wanted to hear from my own cousin! 

      We all need support and understanding from people that can empathize with what we are going through.

      I really wish I could have been more prepared to what I have experienced so far and perhaps could have got myself more clued up so I didn't go through these doom and gloom thoughts! 

      At least we all have each other's support on here to help calm each other down. Take care. X

    • Posted

      My gp is fine but I tend to get 'it's unlikely to be anything serious' and then I'm sent on my way and it does nothing to help with my anxiety! Today I have a right jaw ache and neck ache and feel so tired :-( I just convince myself it's the menopause because the gp isn't concerned, which I guess is a good thing, I just find it hard to see it like that
    • Posted

      so glad to hear that you are feeling better since the cloud lifted. altho i am not having a period for mnths on end once a mnth i can tell it should be happening, i get as you say that jumpy nervous not quite right feeling. one doctor even shouted at me for not being to explain it better. lol love the bit about having a seat named after you, i joke about my headstone saying here lies sharon, shes a mystery!!. 

      i do think we are not prepared at all for this stage, periods our mums talked to us about them, pregnancies we had midwives, but i cannot rem anyone ever telling me that 1 day when i hit my mid 40's id become a rambling mess hehe.

      glad that the hrt helps you a little, ive been told thats a no no for me because of blood pressure.

      all we can do is as ive read on here before keep telling ourselves this to shall pass, and share our moans and groans with these lovely ladies on here. take care xx

       

    • Posted

      In the beginning (Nov 12) when I first went to the doctors I saw a Male GP, At the time I was experiencing a lumpy throat feeling, he really was supportive and did a thorough check, ie blood pressure, tempature, heart etc. He told me that it was accid reflux, everything was fine except my heart was racing and he put it down to anxiety but wasnt concerned, no more said other than given a prescription for the accid reflux. (at this stage my periods were near normal) may be a little heavier and closer to each other. The next time was in the Jan 13, went to see a female GP as that day when I went to the bathroom I had a bleed when I passed stools, well this must have been the start of all of health anxiety because I feared the worst, after she examined me and was happy that it wasnt anything sinister, but I didnt believe her and started to ask if I should be refered. Before I left her office she did make me feel that perhaps I should seek help from a counsellor for my anxiety. Even though I was 49 at the time and coming upto my 50th not once did she think any of these findings were linked to my age. Just suggested I had my bloods done and was sent my way. Not believing anything I was being told I then booked myself for a complete health check as I read that all results would be given that same day.  Anyway all results were fine but still not one person even thought this was related to the peri/menopause and not one suggested that perhaps to see a doctor who specilsed in hormones etc.All the long the way I have found many doctors just wanting to offer anti-desprants but now lucky that I have two lovely female GP that have been really good. HRT was only offered to me as my anxiety blips only came when I had missed or my periods were completely out of sinc.I really wish that surgeries had specialised people who could at least work with us to help put our minds at rest. I feel all I need during these blip times is some reasurance from someone who knows that your fine and theres nothing to worry about and for me too really believe them. Its a horrid time of our life and I certainly wasnt prepared for any of this what I have gone through. Take care xx
    • Posted

      Tracky, I get the jaw and neck ache thing. Never had it until a couple of hrs ago. It's awaful . It seems to gets worse at certain times. It's always there but certainly worse around time when period would normally be due( not had a proper one since last June). My Dr has no clue either. The specialist sad it's caused by stress and anxiety, but the only thing making me anxious is the pain.xx
    • Posted

      you are 100% right, i think when we first go in with these weird aches pains, symptoms we get listened to, its only when they have done a few tests and everything comes up clear that we start being in their eyes attention seeking women, i did say to one doc after another wasted visit and another prescription for AD that not every ill feeling woman over 40 is depressed, but to try to explain to them that we are down because of how we are feeling, well we may aswell be speaking mandarin. when i manage to get this appoitment with the meno clinic will let you know if they offer any sound advice. hope today sees you fit and well. have a good day take care xx

       

  • Posted

    Sharon, it's ironic that you ask "does anyone ever feel well"? For me the answer is a big NO!. I cannot tell you a day when I have risen in the morning and felt refreshed #1 and then it goes downhill from there. I have a lot of stomach issues, allergies and fatigue even with all the recommended supplements. I'm 52 and still get heavy periods. I thought with my children being grown that I'd be enjoying life but that hasn't happened yet. I know this is a miserable experience to go through, I am trying to believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone sweetie, we all identify with what you're going through. Xoxox take care
    • Posted

      nancy ty so much for this, its so nice to speak to fellow sufferers. i do have a lovely husband but he doesnt cope well with how i have been these past yrs, if i get a funny turn as i call it i can see the lost look on his face, thankfully the panic attacks have subsided a lot compared to the early days, but i still feel just yuck almost everyday, and like you i wake feeling like ive not been to bed, n then as i have breakfast things nose dive from there onwards, by 6pm my stomach is like a football, i am burping for england, and so exhausted i feel drained. funny you should mention allergies one thing the doc did give me i take daily is anti hystamines as by tea time im covered in large angry hives, never had those either before peri. one thing id like to ask is do you find that you have aversions to medication since peri? if a medication has side efffects i get them times 10 n find that even 2 paracetamol make me feel so ill i try to avoid all meds.  cant wait till we wake 1 day and all this is well n truly just a memory, take care and ty so much for your kind words xx
  • Posted

    Hi Sharon i started of with perimenopausal symptoms about 4 years ago,although i didn't realise at the time,i'd never heard of peri until i started doing extensive research last year.It started when my periods went down to about 2 a year.Then later i started getting headaches of which i had tests for and it was put down to stress,after a while these disappeared.Next came the itching all over.There was no explanation for this,i was prescribed Piriton although they did nothing,but after a while it disappeared.Then came the not sleeping at all problems.I went to the doctors about this but nothing was established and this problem still exists now but not always.I then started to suffer from discomfort raround the breast bone area.After going for tests,i was established i had costochondritis which is basically inflammation of the ribs,mine was on the left hand side.No one knows what really causes it and there isn't really a cure,you just take ibuprofen and get on with it.It goes of its own accord,it can last up to 12 months but from what i researched people have it for years.Next i had plantar faciitis in my right foot which is very painful,especially when you have taken your foot off the floor and then put weight on it to walk again.I was sent to see a specialist at the hospital,as well as this it was found after xrays i had a little arthritis in my foot.This comes and goes along with the plantar faciitis.Because of all my ailments and being stressed at work i started to feel down and things were getting to me so i went to see the doctor and it was agreed i could try fluoxetine,after all i had taken them years ago and they suited me fine,not this time!i felt zombie like and continually sleepy and drugged up,so i stopped taking them.From this point onwards was when my new symptoms appeared,well they were horrendous.I felt like i had bean severely puched and kicked all over my body,i felt battered and bruised inside and out.I also had digestive problems wher i had gassy stomach noises,i had neck ache and internal tremors.I went back to the doctors and explained i had abruptly stopped taking my fluoxetine(which i now know is the wrong thing to do)I explained all my problems and he said if it was the fluoxetine,i should feel better in a week.Well i didn't,so i went back.The doctor then started treating me for IBS and i had to take peppermint capsules before food.They did nothing, and i still continued too feel very ill for weeks.Eventually,i went back,i thought there was something seriously wrong with me.My doctor then started to send me for tests.I went for one lot,they were normal,he sent me for another lot,they were normal and then he sent me for more and they were normal.In the mean time i felt like i was being a nuisance because i was forever at the doctors,i started asking to see a different dr everytime because i was embarrassed.

    Anyway,my husband turned round to me one day and said he had been listening to a gaenocologist on the local radio  and he had been on about hormone imbalance,my hubby said it sounded like my symptoms and suggested i ask the dr for a hormone imbalance test,so i booked the appointment.

    In the meantime,thats when i starte my research,but all my symptoms could have been due to a number of conditions.

    It could have been:

    Hormone imbalance

    Adrenal fatigue

    Fybromyalgia

    hyperthyroidism.

    I had the test done,rang up got the results and i was told"Menopausal changes"

    Hurrah,a result!

    The normal range is 1-15 and mine was 29,i was then told HRT or herbal its up to you and that was the support i received!

    I had always been very wary of HRT so i tried the herbal route.

    I was taking:

    Macaroot

    starflower oil capsules

    Wellwoman vitabiotics 50+

    osteocare vitabiotics

    and multi vitamins.

    After months and months of taking these,they had no effect what soever,so i stopped the macaroot,starflower and wellwoman and just carried on taking osteocare and vitamins.I certainly didn't feel anyw worse .

    I felt really ill for about 4 months and then,the symptoms came and went but not so bad,but not alltogether,they were all there but split,but there was always one or two present.

    Anyway,christmas of this year,i felt really ill again its like a severe case of flu where all your body parts ache and you feel about 90 years old.

    I went to see a female dr this time because i thought she could identify with these things and would have a better understanding.I was prepared to give HRT a go because of how i felt.It turned out she was obviously anti hrt and said they wouldn't help me because i wasn't in the menopause.She didn't even read my notes about my hormone blood test,she said my aches and pains were osteoperosis and i couldn't sleep because i had insomnia so i came out feeling defeated.

    I then decided to see another dr because i was still feeling ill.He agreed that hrt wouldnt help me but he said because i didn't suffer from hot flushes,it wouldn't really help me and that the side effects could possibly make me feel worse.At least this made sense to me.He then said that i was in perimenopause and that fluoxetine had helped people with this.

    so i decided to give them another try because  maybe it was not the tablets that made me ill last time,maybe it would have happened anyway?

    So i tried them again.Noooooooooo!They effected really bad but not making me sleepy again,but my aches and pains,neck ache,stomach noise came back altogether with a vengeance,i didn't think i could feel any worse.

    So once again,i stopped the tablets,i had only been taking them for 5 days.So this is where i am at now,still feeling utter shyte.It feels like i have an elastic band around me just under my bust and someone is sitting on me.

    I had never heard of perimenopause before.i thought oh my periods are less frequent,its my age and i thought the menopause was hot flushes and thats it.We aren't educated to prepare ourselves for this stage in our lives and there is absolutely no support whatsoever.

    When i found this forum,it was reassuring to me that i wasn't abnormal and so amny of us are all experiencing some of these symptoms and no one can appreciate what we have to go  go through,but we are here to reassure each other.I felt a lot more positive after reading posts on here,especially about the brain fog,because thats another problem.I thougt i was losing my mind because i kept forgetting things and forgetting what i was talking about half way through a sentence,but i felt reassured because its part of the course.

    I recently asked an online menopause expert about my situation and she said that during peri/menopause our body is put under more stress and if we take any drugs of any description,they can react differently and cause different symptoms that you wouldn't previously have  had.

    Sorry for going on,i just had to reply to you to let you know unfortunately its normal.

    Hope you feel better soon hun x

     

    • Posted

      wow deb i could have wrote almost every word of your post, sat here with tears in my eyes, daft beggar that i am lol. ive tried to tell my doc that i just cannot take the pills they keep throwing my way, and what you have said does make complete sense. after prozac made me feel worse they gave me certoline i think it was called and doc told me to stick at it for atleast 9 days even if the side effects were bad, day 3 hit and after 6 massive panic attacks in an hr and what i can only describe as the feeling of being struck by lightning in my head, they went in the bin. i now like yourself just do the vitamins etc and a magnesium bath cos i cant find mag in liquid form, tablets as soon as they get near my throat seem to stick now.

      i have just been looking into specialist menopause help and have found a menopause clinic in my town, rang and altho its 6-8 wks for a first appoitment i dont mind waiting, have you got nothing like this near where you live? this is apparently a new service run by the local council, might be worth looking into?

      btw i cannot wear a bra due to the pressure under my ribs, so your not alone with that. was tested for RA cos ive also grown bumps on my elbows, another test that came back negative.

      please dont worry about going on as you put it, i hung onto every word, i am going to show my hubby this as it will help him also to see that im not just lazy, i do feel generally unwell. atleast its a path we are all walking along together eh? take care for now, thankyou for the insightful words x

       

    • Posted

      Good Morning hun!I did find one group offering support at a gp surgery about 5 miles from where i live.I rang them and enquired,but useless,you have to be a registered patient at that surgery.There is absolutely nothing round here.When i went to my doctor(the unsympathetic female one)she just printed me a sheet off and that was the total support i got.I already had this info,infact it was off this site.

      I've read on here somewhere hun,that you can get the magnesium spray for the aches and pains fom Holland and Barratt.It is supposed to be very effective,but then i've been unsuccessful in everything i've tried from H&B,i've spent a fortune,but hey what the heck,i'll give that a go!I've just looked and its called magnesium oil spray and its £12.65 for 100ml.

      I haven't been able to wear a proper bra either for at least 18 months,i have had to wear those crop type ones from Peacocks and i have to wear them in bed at night.Even these feel tight on me,no matter what size i wear.I do feel better for a while if i dont wear one,but then after a while it makes me feel uncomfortable again because of the weight of my breasts with no support .Does that make sense?

      Please keep in touch hun,i would love to hear how you are getting on xx

    • Posted

      hiya there hun, just a thought but would it not maybe be worthwhile to change to that practise? because our meno clinic is joined onto local doctors surgery i thought i was gonna have to swap doctors, not such a bad thing tbh as mine have not been very helpful for years with ppl i know also. i didnt have to swap surgery in the end but i would have done.

      i use holland and barrett too the one i travel to has a very knowledgable woman there, shes managed to get me liquids in most things i need, i did see the spray but if im honest the magnesium for the bath is dual purpose, when i feel really on edge i go run a lovely hot magnesium bath n soak till i feel myself coming down a little, its also good for the skin, being as i itch myself stupid most days. ive been trying the b6 and b 12 got both in liquid form, only been on them a week, but ive had a iffy stomach, been running loo lots so not sure if they are suiting my messed up digestive system. 

      oh the bra thing i could go on about for hrs hehe. i have bought probably in excess of 20 bras since summer, just trying to find one that doesnt have me doubled in pain, im quite large breasted and of course most that arent wired give no support, so i try to get away with just a vest top, ok if ya in house alone but not good to go out. and yes i find myself sat many a night propping my bust up so it doesnt sit on my ribcage. its no wonder we feel like we dont want to go out and be around ppl isnt it. what i will say to you is i went docs last year and was a locum doc, my face fell when i walked in n saw she was a slip of a girl, she looked about 15 tbh, but she was probably the most helpful and through doc ive seen, i think all her training was fresh in her head and she was really trying hard. she actually took time to explain my results to me, and to explain that even if i did go on hrt it was a short term thing, that as soon as i stopped taking i would go back 4 yrs to the beggining of the journey. unfortunately next time i went she had moved on and i got the same old male doc who basically made me feel that i was weak for not just riding it out in silence, so once again thats me done with docs, until the next time i get desperate. its so hard to get them to understand its the hormones making me jittery, before all this started the previous time id been to docs was 7 yrs previously, 

      im sorry im wittering again hehe, its just been so lovely to be able to vent and not feel alone with this. as you said please stay in touch deb, its been great to chat. xx

       

    • Posted

      Hi again hun,i went to H&B today and i bought the spray,unfortunately i dont have a bath so i cant do that one,however,there was a pouch of flakes free with the spray for a foot bath,so i will give it a try.I also invested in a hot water bottle and i've been using that today which i have found a little soothing.Don't know about you,but i feel worse when i am sitting down,especially when i'm driving and even worse when i have eaten and i am full.I did manage to get a better nights sleep last night,but no dout i'll pay for it tonight.Its nice to be able to bet it off your chest so to speak,when people ask at work how i am,they're not really interested,they are just being polite,i think they just switch off when i'm going on.So if we want to go on about it all day on here,we can.Isn't it lovely to feel slightly normal?

      Hope you have a good day tomoz xx

    • Posted

      hiya deb, i replied to this last night but it seems to have vanished, maybe i pressed to go off before id pressed reply, who knows lol. let me know how you get on with the oil please, id deff give the flakes a go in a foot bath, i sometimes get really painful heels and a patch at the side of my little toe, and the foot bath n flakes seem to ease it a little.

      i can fully understand the bit about sitting bein uncomfy esp after eating, but for me the worst is laying down, almost like something is flopped back on something else in my chest/stomach it has like a dull throb almost like a pulsing, not painful but un nerving non the less. good to hear you had a good nights sleep, that makes all the difference on how we feel.

      i feel same as you i try not to tell ppl how im really feeling, tending to just say "fine thanks hows you?" cos it does seem that all i ever talk about is how crappy i feel, so yes to be able to say it on here to others who know what it actually feels like is brill. chat soon, hope your having a good day xx

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