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I lost the number for the crisis team and dont know the name of the team I was under. I tried samaritans but it doesn't work because they dont offer any advice. too scared to go to a&e because last time was traumatic waiting there for 12 hours whilst being verbally abused/threatened by other patients. My gp is closed until tomorrow. All my flatmates are away for the next week and I just started on quetiapine/mirtazipine and am still adjusting to it. Emotions are all over the place and I feel so alone with no one to turn to. Last night i wrote a suicide note and i have a plan about what i will do and am scared that i will do it impulsively once i get the courage. I really don't feel I can keep myself safe but am worried that I wont be taken seriously now I've been labelled as bpd. They will just think im attention seeking. Thats not my own view but I've worked in mental health and have too much of an insight into their attitude towards people with bpd, andive heard what they say behind peoples back.
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