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Feeling unsure

Posted , 4 users are following.

bellakin
bellakin

I've been following this Forum for 3 months now as I had decided to have a go at coming off Citalopram...I've been on it for 11 years starting at 20mg but the last few years taking 10mg. I'm 65 now and all my life I seem to have a depressive temperament and just find I feel gloomy and down a lot of the time. For no good reason which makes it worse. I live in a great place and have a good partner am now retired so no pressures. I went on it when we were moving and I found it difficult to cope with things and obsessive worrying (I do have a bit of an obsessive mindset). I get really angry and irritable over things Its like I want to control everything and as soon as I get like that I am sorry but can't seem to stop myself so am not easy to live with. Citalopram helped with that and seemed to make me more stable but I wanted to find out what I felt like off them after all these years. I started mid May this year I cut the tablet in half and then quarters and took 3/4 for 2 weeks then 1/2 for 2 weeks then 1/4 for 2 weeks then nothing. I can't say I had any real withdrawl symptons just some periods of feeling more irritable than usual. Now have been off them for a month and am trying to make sense of my moods and if this is how I felt before or what! I feel more emotional weepy but gloom is worse and seems to hang around all the time. I can't say I am a 'happy' person but I don't like feeling like this. I started this post and now I feel have gone on too long and who wants to read all this!  So I'll post now and maybe some of you will discuss with me. But I feel this is self-indulgence and lots of you have real problems.

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • loxie
    loxie bellakin

    Posted

    oh Bellakin, the first thing to understand is that this kind of feeling 'down' and stressing when things feel like you're not in control is JUST the sort of symptoms a lot of us have had.  Unfortunately one of the prime results of depression of any kind is exactly how you've said - feeling self indulgent.  Unfortunately that's part of it - we become self focussed and self absorbed but can't help it.  Dont feel yours isn't a 'real' problem - it is, it's upsetting you and making you feel bad about yourself which is horrible for you and that creates a vicious circle as it brings you down further.  I too have spent my whole life feeling 'unhappy' and at times have no idea why, even when things are going smoothly I just haven't been able to dig myself out of the gloomy hole. Feeling like you do is very debilitating and makes life very very difficult.  If you had no adverse issues with the medication maybe coming off them just isn't right for you presently.  Please do discuss it with your GP and hopefully they can reassure you it's quite understandable to feel you shouldn't have to rely on citalopram to feel 'normal' but sometimes relying on a given prescribed medication is necessary for whatever health issue we have.  I do hope you find the right balance for you personally.   I wish I had a magic wand sometimes to wave and make everything 'alright' for you and I and others like us.  
    • bellakin
      bellakin loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie, thanks for you reply. I was fortunate while on Citalopram not to have had any really nasty side effects; one thing that has been bad is restless legs at night which now I am off the meds are a lot better. My sleeping is not good and hasn't been for some time. I am shocked to hear that your hair fell out!  
  • tracey36787
    tracey36787 bellakin

    Posted

    Hi

    We all feel gloomy or worried i went on Cit for that reason i have been on it 2 years but decided to come of it, i have been off it 2 weeks now with horrible with drawel symtons but i am determined to do it,

    Im a 52 year old menopausal women who is suffering bad symptoms anyway i was put on Cit to overcome low moods and depression , i ended up with sweating and insomnia on top of my depression , although Cit helped me stop feeling low it played on my menopausal symptoms , so although i felt better through the day i could not sleep at night (insomnia) i was then given zopliclone sleeping tablets to overcome insomnia , so it felt like  i was taking tablets to wake up and tablets to go to sleep , so i have come of Cit in the last 2 weeks , its a horrible tablet with false promises , im hoping my insomnia stops now , the sweating has thank god.

    My low mood so far hasnt been 2 bad but when i do feel low " i think how lucky i am" I am alive and are luckier than most unfortunate people.

    I find keeping busy helps me when i feel a low mood coming on i jump up and do the irioning , turn music on and sing along , vaccum clean the windows get a shower "dont let the moods win fight back" , this forum has helped me big time i used to think i was all alone and the only person suffering my symptoms but it goes to show with this forum we are not alone we are not going mad , we are just normal people and talking to someone with the same symptoms makes you feel a 100 times better x

     

    • loxie
      loxie tracey36787

      Posted

      Good luck Tracey in coping without citalopram.  I felt much like you.  The cit was definitely helping me to lift my mood but so many horrid side effects, including the night sweats you mention, sleeplessness and also it made my hair fall out very drastically, that I decided it wasn't worth being so ill as that was pulling me down again, so I stopped it too.  Been off it 3yrs (longer than I took it for) and I still get sad and a little weepy sometimes and I know I overreact at times but it's better than the symptoms I had whilst taking it.  I too think we're all just 'normal' but have to cope with a life that's artificially stressful with too many demands upon us all.  I think you're doing all the right stuff to help yourself and you deserve to get through this. xx
    • bellakin
      bellakin tracey36787

      Posted

      Hi Tracey, did you come off very gradually? I get hot sweats during the day and at night and am way past the menopause. I never associated it with the citalopram. Maybe this will improve now am off them. Also the insomnia seems worse now although I have always had problems sleeping. I do a lot of dog walking and that helps even when am feeling tired, Yes, keeping busy is the best thing to do. 
    • tracey36787
      tracey36787 loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie

      Well done , each day gets better for me , yeasterday was a great day so the future looks good without Citx

       

    • tracey36787
      tracey36787 bellakin

      Posted

      Hi bellakin , i did it by taking 1.5 tablets for 1 week then 1 tablet for the next weel then hasf tablet the last week , the doctor was trying to wean me of them and put me on another tablet called stellitone but i refused to take it and now i have thrown all my tablets away, the hot sweats have gone completly i feel alot better i still have insomnia but hopefully it will go one day xx
    • bellakin
      bellakin tracey36787

      Posted

      Well done Tracey. Yes insomnia is a problem and I am finding it difficult at the moment and feeling tired during the day makes it harder to keep a good mood going getting really irritable. I have been off a month now and the last few days have felt very down and yesterday even thought perhaps I should go back on citalopram as don't like the way I am feeling. But then thought I should at least give it more time. I guess its all part of coming off it that affects moods and outlook on life etc. 
    • tracey36787
      tracey36787 bellakin

      Posted

      Well done to you , i had it very hard in the beginning but feel loads better specially last 4 days , i hope you can stay of them , have you spoken to your Doctor maybe ask them for another sort of help than tablets ,like talking though your feelings with a specilist, you sound such a lovely person and i do want you to be happy going forward what ever way you choose , im routing for you the best advise i can give is keep busy , when the feelings come change what your thinking about and think about a happier time in your life , force your mind to do what you want it to do not what it wants to do , here to support your all i can x

       

    • peggy93882
      peggy93882 bellakin

      Posted

      Has anybody had their thyroid checked. it causes depression anxiety and hair loss. its worth a try to get tested. its a smple blood test.
    • loxie
      loxie peggy93882

      Posted

      Funnily enough peggy that was my first thought and I actually hoped it would be thyroid because that is something that is easily rectified with medication.  Fortunately or unfortunately, whichever way you look at it, my thyroid was just fine which made the hair loss even more worrysome.  My hair recovered slightly when I stopped the Cit but I'm coming to terms with having to live with thinning hair, probably familial but exacerbated by the Cit at the time.
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