Feeling very alone and boyfriend broke up with me.

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi, I started my first year at Uni in September, since then my life has been on a downward spiral. I am already a year behind as I failied my exams so had ot resit a year at school. At first I didnt enjoy Uni as I couldnt find anyone I clicked with or that went out and had a good time. I have felt very isolated and alone sitting in my room all by myself, at first my boyfriend and family were always there for me and came to visit so that every week I had something to look forward to. Then one day out of the blue my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, he was my best friend and absolute everything, I have never loved or cared for a person like him. He is in second year at a different Uni and basically just wants to be a typical single boy with no cares. This breaks my heart to hear him say and to see him getting close with other girls. I have looked into dropping out of Uni however to my parents that woud make me a real dissappointment and a waste of money and honestly im not even sure what I would do. Slowly over the pst two and a half months I have got to the point where I dont even know what im living for anymore. I have no career prospects, no real future, I cant sleep and I just feele like im hvaing to stop myself from breaking down every second. Since being home for Christmas ive felt exactly the same, I hate social situations becasue no matter how hard I try I cant seem to force myself to have fun. I have also found that I get very anxious when I go somewhere I once went with my ex and it feels like my heart is racing and I dont know what to do. My fmaily have become very short dempered with me and get very angry when im feeling low. I could go back to Uni but I hate it there and it makes me feel vert low or I stay at home where noone wants me to be becasue they say im miserable. I try so hard to put on a smie etc but inside im hurting so badly. I feel like the pain wont go away and I just want some release! I dont understand what the point in being here is, I cant talk to anyone as noone understands. I have nothing great in my future so is there even a point?

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  • Posted

    Hi FudgeL,

    You didn't say how old you are, but I think you must be in your late teens. It's understandable that you would be heartbroken after ending a three year relationship, especially if you weren't expecting it, and are away at University and feeling lonely. Have you tried to make friends with any other students? Having someone to share your feelings with would help. You're young and should be out enjoying yourself instead of moping alone in your room. You may not feel like doing much right now, and I can understand it's painful to see your exboyfriend with other girls, but you need to make the effort to start living your life again. Believe me a broken heart will mend, I've had lots of them over the years.

    You also said you had to rewrite your exams. The other things going on in your life are probably distracting you from your studies and that's why you are not doing well. You also said you have no career prospects. What do you want to do? Have you really thought about what you would be happiest doing with your life? It's not your parents life. . .it's yours. Forget about disappointing them and just focus on you. You may be putting too much pressure on yourself. Have you talked to a counselor about your couses and career options? If yoy haven't, you should consider doing that.

    Finally, you should talk to your doctor. Tell him how you have been feeling. If your anxiety and depression are taking over your life, you need to seek help to deal with it from a medical professional. There are a it of people who care and are there to help. You need to ask for help though. I know it can be hard to motivate yourself to do that, but please do. You owe it to yourself. Your whole life is waiting for you, and you have the right to be happy and enjoy it.

    Please let me know how you are doing.

    Take care,


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  • Posted

    Hi Fudge. I saw this post and wanted to help you.. especially since it is Christmas. I just want to let you know that God really does love you. He has you here for a reason. I just want you to feel loved and happy during Christmas. Even though it will feel like you can't relate to many, just keep trying. It may just take you a bit of time to find that group. Making frequent appearances will make people want to hang out with you (ignore the clique type people, those are the ones who will say hi each time but not make effort to know others. We've all encountered those.)

    Find things you love to do, like painting or writing, listening to music, etc. Honestly if you feel inspired by something deeply and put effort into devoting yourself to it (and your school studies and assignments) it will really help and you will find people who admire you for it and befriend you.

    Everyone has a reason to be here, remember this always. God loves you and needs you here. The fact you wake up each day shows that. We love you.. God bless you. ? I hope you feel better this Christmas.

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    • Posted

      Who knows, over time you might find that guy who wants to be with you for life. It takes growing and experience to hang in there. Especially when you attend church, you might find a man that God meant for you to be with. It could be anyone. So just relax and take life easy.. and pray for everyone you cross paths with. It takes time to shake discouragement off. But if you let your family know that you truly want to take the steps to get better, they can also play a role in encouraging you to take those steps.
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    • Posted

      Also, if you ever find yourself thinking about him and missing him. Instead of associating negative thoughts with it, pray about it. Pray for him to have a good life, and pray for yourself to have a good life. Wish the best for him. You never know what has happened.
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  • Posted

    Hi Fudge - I'd like to second what Phyllis has written. You need to take practicle and positive action for your situation. It is terrible hard to lose a loved one after years of being together. You need to focus on you now. Talk to your counsellor - don't bottle all this up inside you. Best of luck.

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