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Feeling very down

Posted , 8 users are following.

hypercat
hypercat

I rarely post on here but am feeling so down and deep in a pit of negativity that I just need to moan a bit.   I just feel so alone,  unwanted and unloved that I can't summon up any energy or will to do anything about it.   I don't care about myself or think I deserve anything better than living in a very messy flat,  doing without hot water because my boiler is broken and I can't face sorting it out at the moment.  

I am getting criticism from friends for forgetting everything they tell me coz my brain is all fogged up,   and an online friend (not on here) has turned against me coz they researched my family tree for me and I promised to send her something she wanted and haven't.   I wish Christmas was over and I wish I wasn't so alone.

Not looking for advice but empathy please.   x

3 likes, 35 replies

35 Replies

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  • jran
    jran hypercat

    Posted

    Hi to all

    Its so sad to see so many sad people at this time of year. What causes it?Are any of you on meds if not why, its so hard to battle it out with nothing to help I went off my meds 12mths ago due to some long term side effects i was having but i am back on a new one now stillsad but seeing some mood improvement. You all sound like very caring people but maybe you have to care for yourself first, to be able to care for others. Be kind to yourselves you deserve it.

    • hypercat
      hypercat jran

      Posted

      Thanks Jilly.   For me Christmas highlights the fact I am on my own with no partner and no kids.  I do have 3 sisters - one is a recluse and only wants the TV,  the youngest has her own family and has made it clear she doesn't want me there.  The other one I am going to her and her bf for Christmas lunch.  

      I am quite good at caring for others - it's just myself I struggle with. 

      Bev xx

       

    • jran
      jran hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Bev, I am same on my own no partner & kids have their own kids. Spend xmas day with my son and his family, then  back on my own again. Too much time on our own is not good,  too much time to think. we have to try to keep busy in some way go out,take up bridge, anything to get out and have a break from ourself.

      Cheers

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 hypercat

    Posted

    Hi Bev, I read so many of your replys to people and the time you spend giving others hope. Christmas does highlight so much sadness in peoples lives.

    If we already feel lonely and unloved this is heightened too. I know myself as this is how I feel unloved and unworthy. Bev you are a unique person and deserve to be loved. Love yourself first easy i know. Don't be hard on yourself. Treasure the many people in your life and know that your one of them. Hugs xx

    Elizabeth

    • hypercat
      hypercat elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Thanks Elizabeth.   I always like reading your replies because you are full of love and caring for others,  despite feeling the lack of it in your own life.  I will give your own advice back to you - you are unique to my love and deserve the very best in life too!    I hope you have as good a Christmas as you can and new Year.  I will be in here both days at some point so all us lonely unloved folk can care for each other.  Bev xx

       

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 hypercat

    Posted

    My goodness

    I love you very much and we haven't even met!

    Your not moaning, you are sharing how you honestly feel. For that we are privileged as that means you view us as friends. You have given us so much help this year and without you, my dedpair would have plummeted me in a place I wouldn't have wanted to be.

    The boiler situation must be annoying. I recall when my boiler broke and i was advised that it was beyond repair. I couldn't afford to buy a new one for months! I had to keep filling my bath with pots and pans....my poor old back ouch!! Try not to worry about your place being messy, the important focus right now is you. I too am looking forward to Christmas being over. .really puts too much pressure on people either suffering or recovering from depression. With the situation with your friend, she will know deep down that you would have sent her whatever it was, if you could of, and that you will send it when you feel well enough to do so. If she's your friend she will understand.

    Now what are you going to do today that's going to make you feel a little better? (I'm posing myself the same question lol!)

    You mean so much, to so many and I hope when reading this...you from the heart believe it.

    You deserve happiness,peace and clarity of mind (because we need the clarity bit for your words of wisdom lol) more importantly to not permit your mind to think your undeserving.

    You are truly a god send (he don't care if your flats messy!) And you share hope which is easily lost, you are genuinely a beacon that's radiates compassion, hope and love.

    I love you from my heart xxxx

    • hypercat
      hypercat lorraine52317

      Posted

      Aw Lorraine my dear friend you are making me well up now.... I am feeling a bit better today as met up with 2 of my sisters earlier for coffee and pressie giving.  We talked about the old days,  old films we loved and family stuff we all share.   It was lovely. 

      After I popped into my local Tesco Express and to my delight they brought out all the goods marked down to 10% of their prices an hour earlier than usual!    I got a big bagful of stuff for less than £3.  Normally they put it out at 6pm and all the regulars (and some of them are definitely not poor) grab them first.  The lady at the till said she couldn't wait to see their faces when they realised they had missed it smile   

      Thank you so much for your care and support love.  Many times I start reading the replies then think oh that was lovely,  I look and see your name smile   Oh it's lovely Lorraine again....you are a real gem you know and I am glad if my replies have helped you a little bit.   Luvs ya too chuck!    I hope your Christmas and New Year is as good as possible.  Hugs for you.  Bev xxx

       

  • jran
    jran hypercat

    Posted

    Hi

    All that love out there for you Hypercat and others on this discussion. Its lovely. These friends criticise you for something so trivial. Have you explained that you are in a bad place at the moment if so they should give you a bit of leway.

    We have all been there and i am sure they have too.Take care and be kind to yourself you deserve it. Cheers Jill

     

    • hypercat
      hypercat jran

      Posted

      Thanks Jilly.  I am amazed at how many of you lovely people have come in to support me.   Amazed and humbled.  We all really care about each other don't we?   I am so glad to be on here with all of you.  smile 

      I hope you are ok love and having a good time.  Bev xx

  • fee25
    fee25 hypercat

    Posted

    Sad to hear that you're feeling low at the moment, Christmas can be an especially hard time for many. The pit of depression is so overwhelming, just remember how well you are actually doing, it's totally fine to put things off - like your boiler repair, take your time and don't bother trying to rush things, take some time for yourself and remind yourself how amazing you are smile you deserve a break, you are such a well loved person on this site! Happy Christmas Beveridge, thinking of you and wishing you all the best xxx
    • fee25
      fee25

      Posted

      Meant to write Bev* autocorrect changed it to beverage!
    • hypercat
      hypercat fee25

      Posted

      Ha ha Fee my autocorrect does that too and drives me insane.  No worries.   I was feeling a bit better but now feel crochety,  cross and tired due to difficult relations and general exhaustion.  I feel as though I could sleep for England.   

      I am very grateful for the support of everyone and you have all helped me to feel cared for a validated.  I love that word 'validated'.  It's a very powerful word and means so much doesn't it?   You do understand as everyone does on here.  Blast this b......y depression to hell and back. 

      I hope you are having a good time and enjoying yourself love.   Don't let my moods spoil your Christmas.   I'm just going back to 'bah humbug'.  Bev xx

       

    • fee25
      fee25 hypercat

      Posted

      Autocorrect, both a blessing and a curse!

      I suffer from the sleep demon myself, I like the escape of sleep but my, it makes you feel so unbelievably drained!! But you know what, have a duvet day! I think they are a particularly brill way to spend the day when needed! :P

      That is the most wonderful thing about this site, it does make you feel validated, it makes you feel useful, supported, cared for - absolutely stunning how strangers can come together and offer so much to one another, it really makes the hugest difference!

      Funny you should day that, I actually had "bah humbug" scrawled across my Christmas jumper!

    • fee25
      fee25

      Posted

      *say that. Autocorrect -.- xxx
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