Feeling very let down by counsellor...

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Hey, so I suffer anxiety in different forms (generally and socially) and depression. I was seeing a counsellor who I was referred to by my GP who was supposed to be helping me figure out where my anxiety has stemmed from, my triggers etc. I had a very difficult up-bringing (abused physically and neglected by birth mother, biological father on hard drugs so barely there, l split from my siblings and had about 5 foster homes in a yr before being adopted, bullied through school and mentally abused by adoptive parents) which has left me with zero confidence and low self esteem. I struggle to leave the house alone or with my children and even a walk into town with my husband can leave me feeling extremely anxious... Basically my counsellor hasn't really helped me figure out my triggers etc and has now discharged me as I can no longer make the appointments that were set due to my husbands work hours and the fact I have no one to look after my children. She didn't offer me any phone appointments or someone more flexible and she didn't refer me for CBT when she said she would look into it for me. I now feel very let down and like iv wasted many weeks for nothing sad I now don't want to go to the doc for fear of being let down again by someone else... There are no anxiety support groups where I am that I know of either but I feel like my anxiety is getting worse.. I feel more anxious than I did before and I keep convincing myself people are breaking Into the house at night sad any advice will be much appreciated

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  • Posted

    Hi, Natasha. I feel your doctor should be able to hlep you. Obviously you had some serious issues to discuss with a therapist and presumably they vary in quality and experience. I would hope your GP, given your responsibilities with children etc, can listen and offer another therapist. I'd be interested to know how you get on.
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  • Posted

    The point is, Natasha (maybe Stephaney will agree) you deserve better. You had a crap start to life and you are now a responsible and caring mother. Your doctor should spend a bit of time helping you.
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  • Posted

    Hi Natasha,

    Go see your GP. I don't know what yours is like but all the GPs I've seen myself have been really lovely and do their best to help (even tho they're a little out of their depth with mental health problems - but they try). Your GP will be able to refer you for CBT if you'd like to try that. It may help you but I'd actually suggest (as I've had and am currently in CBT treatment) that he should probably try to get you back on the "classical" (not the proper term for it, I don’t think) psychotherapy/counselling. Your past is obviously a huge part of why you’ve got the problems you do and with CBT you don't really go into any of that, it's supposed to be very "practical" (I find it patronizing) but it does really help some people, apparently. I'd suggest you try getting some more counselling and then also getting some CBT later, it might really help.

    Good luck, keep your hubby close and your beautiful kids – a supportive family will do a lot more for you than any professional can : )

    Anya

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  • Posted

    With so much disruption in your early life, that accumulation of trauma, is now called complex-PTSD and you would be better served by a psychologist who is trauma-informed. Bog standard CBT won't cut the mustard and the limitation is with the therapist, not you.

    Nothing has been wasted but it seems that you haven't found a therapist who is the right fit ~ so don't fall back into a slough of despair. Personally, my early life experiences were very similar and I can recommend a couple of books.

    Also "Schema Therapy" is another term to Google.

    Quit scaring yourself with thinking that your home is being invaded, this is symbolic of the not safe home environment you had as a foster child. You're triggering yourself into a flashback (ptsd) of how you felt as a vulnerable child with no reliable protector.

    Also dredging up the trauma of your past IS the problem, keeps you stuck in that history, telling the same old story. This is hard work and give yourself credit for what you do achieve every day.

    This is a link to a counselling group in the USA who have free articles on their website

    Any GP is going to to refer you to a garden-variety psychologist until you become your own advocate and the right book, the right website can get you started.

    Trust this helps.

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