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Feelings and thoughts in my head

Posted , 5 users are following.

Blackhole
Blackhole

i am writing this down hoping that they will get out of my head. It sometimes work. Don't be mad this is just what's in my head.

Lonely, fed up, tired, angry, messed up, useless, stupid, failure, why, fat, ugly, thick, horrible, no one cares, a pain, a let down, I deserve to be unhappy, hate myself.

 

1 like, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • lywacho1
    lywacho1 Blackhole

    Posted

    hi, just wondering how your doing? I too have thoughts like u, have done for many yrs now, about 15yrs ago i did cognitive behavioural therapy and found it extremely helpful, it makes you question your own thoughts, (sorry if u already done this kind of stuff) anyway i went from being housebound (5yrs) to passing driving test, getting job, getting a life. I thought id never go back there, but unfortunately i find myself back in similar situation, only able to go out house to go to work, last yr i said enough is enough, joined slimmingworld, lost a lot of weight, cut back on alcohol & made friends but since xmas iv slipped right back down n cant get motivated. I was diagnosed as going through the change last week and started on hrt, the idea of a diary is a really good one, i also did that whilst doing CBT and it really does help, mayb i too can start that again. Little steps xx
    • Blackhole
      Blackhole lywacho1

      Posted

      The thoughts have gone at the moment, I feel low but not too low to think the thoughts. I'm still worried about it, as I went a little closer. I had a call from the hospice yesterday about seeing a councillor, and they are going  to arrange it, I think in the next week or so. I can't remember too much about the conversation.

      We have both got to try hard, be as strong as we can, I know how hard it is. Nobody at work or home knows how hard it is just to get through the day, and how much energy it takes. I'm just so tired,  I really Hope the councillor will help,

      i going to try the diary, going to get one today.

      i Hope you are well? have a good day.

    • lywacho1
      lywacho1 Blackhole

      Posted

      I hope the councilling comes good for u, iv not had a bad day but then iv not had time to think, been so busy at work n just crashed out when i got in, although for the first time in about 6 weeks i actually had a conversation with my hubby!! Only snapped once! Have unfortunately snapped at my son, but thats cos we think he has a controlling issue over me n im trying to nip it in the bud, hes diabetic, adhd & autism n everytime hes away from me his bloods go out of control, wev recently eliminated all the arguments surrounding his injections by diagnosing needle phobia & putting him on a pump so no more needles, think hes trying to find a way for more arguments, its hard not to bite when feeling so low x But i could have even smiled today when i realised id had a conversation smile A full nights sleep would b nice too but that will come (i hope lol) Iv started my diary too, dont read it when your down, read it back when u have a good day, that way u can try to find patterns & put stratergies in place to try and ease the lows x ( i think that makes sense)
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