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Feelings that Loop and worsen?

Posted , 4 users are following.

Love16
Love16

Hello, I want to thank you guys so much for taking the time to read this. I will start off by saying that, I am very scared of these feelings. They feel very real to me, there are things going on in my mind that I will keep in, but I will say that it hurts me. My mind plays these scenarios that are very hurtful, cold, and sad. I believe the thoughts as if they are reality. I tell myself it is not, but a good percentage of me will not let me see and feel how unreal the scenarios are. It has gotten bad enough to where, some days I don't really smile, and my mom is the first to detect it. I love my mom, and she loves me a lot, but my mom is starting to, every now and again get mad at me for feeling depressed. It is true, I need to snap out of it, but it is not at all easy, I can snap out of it for a few minutes, but the scenarios and negative comments push through the next day. My mom does understand how I feel, I am still a teenager, but it is bad enough to where I bring it up frequently.

The feelings have looped around so much, and I have told people about it so much to the point to where I now feel guilty for feeling this way, and I am scared of becoming a leech (a person who stays the way they are, to feed off of what others give them in reply) or being seen as a leech.

I called my grandma and she offered support to this, saying she was the same when she was a teenager, and I shouldn't be ashamed.

Yesterday was good, even though I had those feelings I was able to find a good way to escape, and my mom was not upset.

What makes these feelings loop is, I am scared I will lose people and things because of this. Is this normal?

I love everyone, and I care for everyone.

I never want to lose my loved ones, and the things that I care about, especially since both have helped me when feeling this way.

Anyone else experience this vicious loop? I care about so many things, that I don't want to lose all of the things I care about.

I would like some prayers so that I can enjoy these things, and never lose them.

Thank you for reading.

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • heather27354
    heather27354 Love16

    Posted

    hi, my mind plays scenarios too. Ieven withdraw from family because i am conviinced they dont love me. I dont know what to say to help. I am playing my favorite music right now even though it isnt helping. they say in therapy to "act as if" in certain ways i mean. I have blessing in my life. I try to repeat outloud when i remember to, what they are. I have been abandoned by my dad due to my physical problems. This hurts a lot. I am  waiting to get back to see a counselor. i hope it helps a little. I pray God sends you exactly what you need to feel better.
    • Love16
      Love16 heather27354

      Posted

      Everything will get better for you too ❤ I pray God will give you what you need as well.

      I have a lot of blessings that I am very grateful for, I turn to it when I feel down. I just really fear losing that stuff, and the people I love.

      We can pull through, just focus on what you love and view it as a close friend.

      God Bless.

  • heather27354
    heather27354 Love16

    Posted

    wow! what a lovely thing to say to me. I never thought of looking at my hobbies i love as friends, that is a good thought. smile
    • Love16
      Love16 heather27354

      Posted

      smile thank you. I like to view mine as a friend that will never leave me behind. Whenever I get that voice in my head and that negative scenario that plays in my head that says I will be left behind because of my depression, I just turn to my friend, and it makes me feel better.
  • allison30388
    allison30388 Love16

    Posted

    I think this is normal and the fear you're experiencing is normal. What I'm about to say may make no sense or sound impossible but it's almost like trying to teach you how to balance while riding a bike, I can tell you as much as I want but it comes to you to figure it out yourself.

    Don't be afraid or think badly about yourself. I'm guilty of it, I beat myself up when I mess up in my relationships even if it's not a big thing and it can take a while to shake off those bad feelings but you overcome them. Right now, I accept those feelings and thoughts of worst case scenarios as a part of me, it's automatic. I can't stop those thoughts or feelings but I can control how I react to them and it's damn hard sometimes and others it's easy.

    See a counselor, there's something about hearing it from a third party that makes a larger impact on situations.

  • tess33005
    tess33005 Love16

    Posted

    No, feeling like this is not normal. You need to talk this through with your doctor, thoroughly, and get advice, therapy and possibly medication.

    You will recover, of that I am sure, but you mustn't let this drift on and on without professional help. There is nothing to be ashamed of - my 15 year old daughter went through a very similar experience and I went to the doctor with her. She was better in six months.

    Prayers are on the way - from me, anyway - and don't be afraid. You're not alone in this. Lots of young people suffer like this but are not brave enough to tell anyone.

    Please come back to the forum and tell us how you are. We care about you. Love Tess

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