Fighting the good fight

Posted , 14 users are following.

So now i have tried yet another supplement/hormone in hopes that it would have helped, as my symptoms were getting slowly better.

Well, nope. I seemed to have gone back to the crazy lady feeling again, high anxiety (plugged in to an outlet) fragility, brain fog extreme, debilitating, and the dark mood. Unbelievable these hormones. I can only remind myself that its hormones and not be going nuts.

But is it??

I am perplexed and wish that i knew more,even though ive researched to no end. 

If all labs blood as well as saliva have shown basically that i have little or no hormones at all..then why do I feel so overwhelmingly hormonal? Is it the way I perceive it? Or is it all lack of the right neurotransmitters e.g. serotonin, dopamine, gaba etc. which causes the low mood. Or is it that im in adrenal overdrive which is causing the dreadful symptoms.

I really dont know, and so far nor does any of the docs out there that ive consulted with. (several)

Im afraid i will be continuing to fight the good fight..

what else is there?  

hugs to you all


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33 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Maui, I'm fighting the same fight! Today I've reached my absolute low.... The anxiety and crying for absolutely no reason other than I'm so scared of the way I'm feeling.. But the feeling I was feeling this morning was like something bad was/is going to happen, but it didn't just stop there I had all my symptoms together today, and felt like well I've reached the end of my rope , very flat, tonight I'm still feeling bad but I'm watching a bit of t.v. and trying hard to get my mind off of all my symptoms and the way I'm feeling.. God please help us all, I'm praying hard for us all to get through this...and trying to be very strong..but its so hard up and down and up and down...

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    • Posted

      Hi Gypsy lady  smile

      Its kind of cruel the whole thing. I mean..really?...I try and not feel sorry for myself, and suck it up day in and day out, but i tell ya...

      hormones are a mighty contender.

      I try and not think about it but its really over the top taking me down each time a bit more. I cant think of a single thing that im doing thats making me like this...I sleep, i eat..i work, i pray..i love.

      it doesn't seem to matter Gypsy.

      But we carry on dont we?

      I too have fear because i am not me really anymore and its a facade during the low days..i have to struggle to just act normal. I pull it off, but how long for?

      I feel like God or the Source (same) is testing me in such a dreadful way, and that's why i feel so disheartened. I ask myself what did i do to deserve this? 

      I had a run of a few good days..maybe 10 (still with low mood but much more functional for sure)

      and now back to this.

      Thank you for your prayers for us. I know ...its insane. I never thought that i would be so down and out, posting my sorrows and struggles on a website but here i am, and no shame in it. I feel like i need so much help, but there is none..thats the worst part.

      A friend told me though.."Theres no substitute for time" so im doing my time..we are doing our time here..

      thanks for the post..i will pray tonight for us all.


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    • Posted

      Aww thanks Maui for the prayers.. It isn't fair and I too always say I feel I'm good people why am I suffering so and what did I do to deserve this, I say that same thing.. We are doing our time.. The thing that's so awful is you never know when you are going to feel bad , that's so scary cause when you have then few good days then around the corner them days are debilitating dark and sad.. I just want to feel normal again and stay that way dammit... ?

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    • Posted

      I totally know what you mean about having to put up a "facade". It is so hard to go through your days faking happiness, contentment, and peace. Sometimes, I have gotten really angry, and I have wondered why I have to suffer so much. It does seem beyond cruel!

      I do try to remind myself, though, that something amazing always comes out of suffering. We all know that it is time-limited and we are super strong, so we'll persevere! I am thankful that I don't have something permanent and life-altering, like being paralyzed. That would be a life sentence!

      We will get there, you'll see. Just keep hanging on. Do your time each day, and one day you will be set free.

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    • Posted

      Me too I woke up today very stressed I just want to cry ,I didn’t want cry in front of my daughter ,today is my second day of period but  there is nothing , I went for walk but it didn’t help ,so I came home and start crying in front of my housband ,I’m scared ,I just want feel better I can’t take this anymore 😞😞

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    • Posted

      Hi May, yes I agree very stressful day today.. And the anxiety wow off the charts, I feel like mauiblue like I'm plugged into a light and buzzing.. Awful to feel this way.. Hormones are sure all over the place with this perimenopause, and yes skip a couple days of menstrual cycle and it can get worse with symptoms..I had a hysterectomy so don't know where my cycle is at , if I'm ovulating or skipping periods, if I had a uterus that is.. Either way your not alone, I think we are all having a really bad symptom day today! I'm praying for us🙏

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    • Posted

      It would be nice to 'stay that way' as you say. Yep.

      This is why i do not make plans well, it must be spontaneous because i truly can not account for how i will be feeling. Mostly its bad, just coping, but other days its pretty good and im renewed with hope. 

      Exhausting. thank you again sister.



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    • Posted

      I have just joined this forum as I thought I was going out of my mind . I’m so low and think the world is crumbling down around me. I’m going back to the doctors to have more bloods but I feel like it’s a lottery what they give you . I cry for no reason and then sometimes I feel like I have won the lottery . Most days it’s a fight or flight feeling 😩

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    • Posted

      Hi Judith,

      Yes, it is a very challenging time. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a magic pill that is going to fix things. If there was, I would definitely have found it. The only magic is time, so just do your best to get through the days and keep reminding yourself that this is a transitional time, so it will end. You will emerge on the other side stronger than ever.

      Wishing you strength,


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  • Posted

    Hi Mauiblue,

    I know exactly how you feel. I have tried numerous antidepressants, supplements, acupuncture..., all to no avail. Truly, I have come to the conclusion that there is no magic pill. The only answer is time.

    So the question that I ask myself is how do I want to spend this time. I decided that regardless of how I feel, I will accept any invitation to socialize and be with others. When I am on my own, I exercise for hours each day! The only thing that we have to do is to let time pass.

    Yes, it is your hormones!!! There is nothing else, and I mean nothing, that can cause the symptoms that you and I, as well as numerous women on this forum, are going through. This past weekend, for example, I had a few "windows" of feeling like my "normal" self, but when I wasn't in that state, I was either filled with internal rage or revulsion for no reason, feeling totally dissociated from my environment and others, at other times I was deeply depressed, or I was having weird and disturbing thoughts. The anger and revulsion are TOTALLY out of character for me, so this proves to me, once again, that it is hormones. What else can possible flip me from peace to thoughts of ending it all in a matter of seconds?!

    I find trying to separate my sense of self from this hormonal experience helps. Sometimes, I even get angry and scream that I am not going to take this kind of garbage. I fight back with everything that I have! Getting angry helps; try it.

    Your body is probably still adjusting to the low hormones, but it will adjust, given enough time. The body's main goal is always to return to homeostasis. I know that it is so painful to live this way, and at times it feels like an impossible burden, but we are strong. 

    Just hang in there, reach out, reassure yourself that it is hormones, and remind yourself that it will pass. This isn't a life sentence. You WILL come out the other side, and all of this crap will become a distant memory.

    Connect with me any time. I am ALWAYS here for you.

    Hugs XO


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    • Posted

      Hi bev- I have tears as I read your post. Today has been a VERY rough day for anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I CANNOT live this way. Its almost unbearable. I do get angry sometimes and scream and cry. I pray to God every night to give me my life back. I can’t believe menopause can be this awful...😢

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    • Posted

      It is beyond comprehension, isn't it Jill. I keep having to ask others close to me and who love me for reassurance that this won't last forever, and that I will get better. I so want to return to the life that I had, so that I can be happy once again. I just keep the faith, and when I can't, I get other people to keep it for me. It's been an unimaginable hell, and I truly marvel at my strength to have endured it.

      Message me anytime.

      Sending you support and understanding.

      Bev xo

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    • Posted

      Thank you Bev, 

      your post meant alot to me. 

      I need to know that high or low hormones or fluctuating or whatever is going on is hormonal. Ive tried adding more hormones with the hope it would help but didnt happen for me.

      Yes i feel like getting super mad sometimes but i think that might not go well because the rage is really there deep down, then my mood is fear and sadness of having lost family support, isolation etc.

      I cant help but feel that we are actually doing time, its really looking like that lately for the last 17 months.

      thank you so much for the support.

      What you wrote rings true to me as well, i accept some invitations to get out, i put myself out there a little bit so i dont isolate becasue that for me is not good.

      When i have a good day, its good im good! yeah i can go back to conquering things again, just very strong, resilient, know what i mean?

      thank you again for such a supportive post



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    • Posted

      You are most welcome! Yes, I totally understand about the good days; it feels like you can do anything, but, remember, one day, all of the days will be like that. In the meantime, just do the best that you can to get through the minutes, hours, and days. Keep reminding yourself that you are still in there just waiting to emerge in all of your brilliance!

      With warmth,


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