Fighting the good fight

Hi Gypsy lady 

Its kind of cruel the whole thing. I mean..really?...I try and not feel sorry for myself, and suck it up day in and day out, but i tell ya...

hormones are a mighty contender.

I try and not think about it but its really over the top taking me down each time a bit more. I cant think of a single thing that im doing thats making me like this...I sleep, i eat..i work, i pray..i love.

it doesn't seem to matter Gypsy.

But we carry on dont we?

I too have fear because i am not me really anymore and its a facade during the low days..i have to struggle to just act normal. I pull it off, but how long for?

I feel like God or the Source (same) is testing me in such a dreadful way, and that's why i feel so disheartened. I ask myself what did i do to deserve this? 

I had a run of a few good days..maybe 10 (still with low mood but much more functional for sure)

and now back to this.

Thank you for your prayers for us. I know ...its insane. I never thought that i would be so down and out, posting my sorrows and struggles on a website but here i am, and no shame in it. I feel like i need so much help, but there is none..thats the worst part.

A friend told me though.."Theres no substitute for time" so im doing my time..we are doing our time here..

thanks for the post..i will pray tonight for us all.

x0x0x

Aww thanks Maui for the prayers.. It isn't fair and I too always say I feel I'm good people why am I suffering so and what did I do to deserve this, I say that same thing.. We are doing our time.. The thing that's so awful is you never know when you are going to feel bad , that's so scary cause when you have then few good days then around the corner them days are debilitating dark and sad.. I just want to feel normal again and stay that way dammit... ?

I totally know what you mean about having to put up a "facade". It is so hard to go through your days faking happiness, contentment, and peace. Sometimes, I have gotten really angry, and I have wondered why I have to suffer so much. It does seem beyond cruel!

I do try to remind myself, though, that something amazing always comes out of suffering. We all know that it is time-limited and we are super strong, so we'll persevere! I am thankful that I don't have something permanent and life-altering, like being paralyzed. That would be a life sentence!

We will get there, you'll see. Just keep hanging on. Do your time each day, and one day you will be set free.

Me too I woke up today very stressed I just want to cry ,I didn’t want cry in front of my daughter ,today is my second day of period but  there is nothing , I went for walk but it didn’t help ,so I came home and start crying in front of my housband ,I’m scared ,I just want feel better I can’t take this anymore 😞😞

Hi May, yes I agree very stressful day today.. And the anxiety wow off the charts, I feel like mauiblue like I'm plugged into a light and buzzing.. Awful to feel this way.. Hormones are sure all over the place with this perimenopause, and yes skip a couple days of menstrual cycle and it can get worse with symptoms..I had a hysterectomy so don't know where my cycle is at , if I'm ovulating or skipping periods, if I had a uterus that is.. Either way your not alone, I think we are all having a really bad symptom day today! I'm praying for us🙏

It would be nice to 'stay that way' as you say. Yep.

This is why i do not make plans well, it must be spontaneous because i truly can not account for how i will be feeling. Mostly its bad, just coping, but other days its pretty good and im renewed with hope. 

Exhausting. thank you again sister.

x0x0x0

 

I have just joined this forum as I thought I was going out of my mind . I’m so low and think the world is crumbling down around me. I’m going back to the doctors to have more bloods but I feel like it’s a lottery what they give you . I cry for no reason and then sometimes I feel like I have won the lottery . Most days it’s a fight or flight feeling 😩

Hi Judith,

Yes, it is a very challenging time. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a magic pill that is going to fix things. If there was, I would definitely have found it. The only magic is time, so just do your best to get through the days and keep reminding yourself that this is a transitional time, so it will end. You will emerge on the other side stronger than ever.

Wishing you strength,

Bev

Fight or flight..

yes its kind of like you are always a little scared, wired, unable to be calm. I understand it all.

x0x0x0

Hi bev- I have tears as I read your post. Today has been a VERY rough day for anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I CANNOT live this way. Its almost unbearable. I do get angry sometimes and scream and cry. I pray to God every night to give me my life back. I can’t believe menopause can be this awful...😢

It is beyond comprehension, isn't it Jill. I keep having to ask others close to me and who love me for reassurance that this won't last forever, and that I will get better. I so want to return to the life that I had, so that I can be happy once again. I just keep the faith, and when I can't, I get other people to keep it for me. It's been an unimaginable hell, and I truly marvel at my strength to have endured it.

Message me anytime.

Sending you support and understanding.

Bev xo

Thank you Bev, 

your post meant alot to me. 

I need to know that high or low hormones or fluctuating or whatever is going on is hormonal. Ive tried adding more hormones with the hope it would help but didnt happen for me.

Yes i feel like getting super mad sometimes but i think that might not go well because the rage is really there deep down, then my mood is fear and sadness of having lost family support, isolation etc.

I cant help but feel that we are actually doing time, its really looking like that lately for the last 17 months.

thank you so much for the support.

What you wrote rings true to me as well, i accept some invitations to get out, i put myself out there a little bit so i dont isolate becasue that for me is not good.

When i have a good day, its like...im good im good! yeah i can go back to conquering things again, just very strong, resilient, funny..you know what i mean?

thank you again for such a supportive post

x0x0x

 

You are most welcome! Yes, I totally understand about the good days; it feels like you can do anything, but, remember, one day, all of the days will be like that. In the meantime, just do the best that you can to get through the minutes, hours, and days. Keep reminding yourself that you are still in there just waiting to emerge in all of your brilliance!

With warmth,

Bev