Final Menopause

Posted , 9 users are following.

there is something so final about Menopause. Like life is done. i remember feeling a pity for the women who have gone into menopause. i had this aunt i who was fifty five, who had a crush on a much younger man. She tried to hide it. We were young and condensing, we laughed, pitied her and dismissed her feelings. i wonder how we could have been so cruel, so unmindful of her feelings. Now i know what she must have gone thru. Women over fifty become invisible and pitied. They are not expected to have romantic or sexual feelings. Most woman accept this as Libido is anyway died after menopause. But what if one still falls in love with a younger person? It's so unfair. Nature is so unfair. I see older men and much younger women and their babies and it makes me so sad. i broke up with my partner as he is 37 and i am 52. My libido is gone not coming back. also he wants a family. (adoption is not something i am comfortable with) so i let go of the love of my life and feeling so teary about it.

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Posted

    Your life is not done. Menopause means you are no longer able to bear children, and yes while it comes with nine million symptoms we do survive it. We were all young once (heck we're still young as far as I'm concerned) and we did things that we're not so proud of. I remember being 25 and thinking 50 was sooooo old! Now at 59, you know what's old to me 90! Lol! When you're feeling low you can become invisible to men because we shut down. I had a guy tell me once that men know when a woman is open and when she's not. Don't misunderstand me, I know it sounds like I'm putting it all on the woman but I'm not. Menopause can be hard and when you're going through it you just don't want to be bothered! We isolate, we're tired, anxious, depressed, gassy(lol). But I've noticed lately men smiling at me in the grocery store. The young men in my office have taken notice of me again. I don't know what happened but I'm rolling with it.

    I don't know if you believe in God or not but I do, and I believe that he will send the right man your way. I'm sorry you had to let him go but, if you need to cry, eat bad food, pray watch a funny show do it. You are mourning the loss of a relationship. Let yourself do it.

    I'm babbling now but hang in there.

    • Posted

      Bravo, Juanita ...wise words very well spoken. You've helped me today, too..

    • Posted

      Thank you Katy! I hope you are doing well(or at least better). It makes me so happy when I can help someone!🤗

    • Posted

      Thank you! i love you for this reply, gives me hope... 😃

  • Posted

    mee,

    It sounds like you need a pick me upper. Menopause doesn't have to be the end. Menopause can bring positives in our life too if we seek the right fixes. Your story is a sad one. As I was reading your message it is clear that the loss of libido in your life is a big deal. Its easy for us to feel our youthful days are gone and what is left in life for me now. We can mentally and physically see and feel the changes and it don't take long and it can turn into a domino effect. Life as we have known it is gone. Many women don't want to do hormone replacement but have you ever considered even replenishing your testosterone? Not sure where you live but there is compounded testosterone cream for women and also testosterone pellets that would make a HUGE difference for your Libido. You don't have to close up shop, you really don't. I am 58, my husband is 65 and we both still enjoy an intimate life. It wouldn't be that way if we didn't "fix" the problem believe me. Our intimate life was headed for disaster. It is a solution for women that either can't or don't feel comfortable taking estrogen supplementation. Testosterone can bring out many other positive changes besides getting your libido back. It can make you feel much better emotionally as well.

    • Posted

      Thanks so much. I needed this. I was on a self pity mode I think! Today is a new day and I am going to try and be more positive. I'm going to re read your reply and I'm certainly going to ask my gynac about testosterone. I'm on HRT anyway, Only Estrogen and Progesterone though. I tried Tribulus supplement once for testosterone that didn't help so i guess a proper prescription one is what i need to try. Thanks again.

    • Posted

      mee,

      Yes, I think you will notice a big difference when getting on real testosterone replacement. It amazes me that doctors will put women on estrogen and progesterone replacement and not even consider women needing testosterone too.

  • Posted

    It's just a change- not a death sentence.. Yes, I hate the way I feel-- tired not wanting to anything..blah blah blah.. I certainly don't feel sexy BUT I keep taking care of myself and do what I can. I think that's the difference. I really don't want to just 'give up' and I won't. That said.. I was at a water class this morning and it made a very interesting class. This woman was 65 and telling me about all the dates (younger and older) she is going on.I was like wow your 65 and very excited about all this. Just made me realize NOT to give up and make the most of it....

  • Posted

    Oh gosh, I'm in menopause officially now and yes I have no libido but now I feel like I can focus on more then just sex! Many of my perimenopause symptoms have disappeared as well. Gained weight but working on that. Now is the time for me to take care of me and to enjoy being a Grandmom. It's just a different time for us now.

  • Posted

    My life is not done! I see my 15 year old daughter and all the problems she has with periods - the pain, the carnage on the bed every morning, the damn things always happening when you are on holiday or having an exam - and i am loving my life without periods. Sex with my husband it better than it has ever been thanks to vaginal oestrogen cream! I am however sorry that you have lost the love of your life - it is so painful not being able to be with the one you truly love.

    • Posted

      Thanks. Yes i think am mourning the breakup. But i knew right from the start there was no future for us. So in a way it's best that is over. I will try and see the positives in this. Yes, the periods disrupting vacations and other things was so annoying! Good that it's over I guess! Am starting new workouts and a dance class on Monday. A new job too next month. Hoping for the best. Thank you again.

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.