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Hi All - I am new to this, and I have been encouraged to talk and release my thoughts so here goes. Thank you to anyone who reads and advises.
I have had a farily bumpy year, starting off with being dumped by my ex girlfriend completely out of the blue. It knocked me for 6 and took me months to get over, or I thought I was over it! Then April came and I was offered a massive promotion at work in which came a huge pay rise and a huge amount of responsibility to match. This is where I believe my depresion stems from.
I am young, great job, i drive a nice car, i have a good stable family, i earn lots of money and would consider myself fairly good looking. Some people would be envious of my life. On the outside I have nothing to be 'depressed' about.
I recently went through my second break up. It wasn't really a breakup. A long distance fling with someone i used to work with. only lasted a few months but she pulled the plug claiming it was too long distance. Fair enough, i respect her decision. But it has hit me like a train. All my memories of my first break up have come flooding back. I don't even miss my first ex, just have the same feelings i had when we broke up and they are 10x worse!
I have learnt that perhaps this most recent 'relationship' was just covering up how i really felt about life, and now it is over i am feeling the emotions of having such huge responsibility with work ( i manage 50+ people and cannot show emotion due to my position. i have to be seen to be the life and soul of the workplace who is always happy!)
I reluctantly went and saw my GP this week and he has prescribed me with Citalopram. Struggling at the moment with the side effects, mainly sleep and nauseua but am wondering how long the anxiety lasts? I can't stop thinking about what my ex is doing, who she is with? was i not good enough? was it the way i look? the way i act? its hurt my self confidence massivily and now think with my line of work, the chances of me meeting someone is slim. I work 70/80+ hours a week, can't have relationship with my staff and dont have the time to go out! I almost feel that i have done too much too soon with my career, but at the same time i have nothing to fall back on if i quit, and i do love my job (most of the time)
life sucks at the moment.
thank you in advance,
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