Finding it difficult to cope

Rob,

You've come this far.....don’t give up on life now pal. I’ve been in your shoes, im a Uni grad (Pompey 2006) - studied accounting and finance (YAWN!) but like you i used alcohol to get thru the minor lows and get me to an even kilter but last summer it all got too much and I quit my job with nothing to go to and just laid in bed hoping it would all sort itself out.

I’ve been on Flu for 20 odd weeks and certainly felt its ups and downs so know what you are going thru, I hope you can carry on thru this low and make it out to the other side mate.

Posting on this site is one of the best things you could have done as we are all suffering and want to help each other get better.

Are you considering getting counselling? If not, that’s fair enough im sure you have your reasons. If you are, awesome. Its one of the best things to help you thru this time in your life - strange to think talking to a complete stranger will make you get better but it will.

Don’t worry about feeling somewhat self-pitying, that’s a good thing in one way as it means you are thinking of yourself which is brilliant if you want to recover from this illness. Im by no means qualified to give medical or professional advice on this illness but I would like to offer some info to try and help you thru this.....

1. Do as much as you can to avoid stress and stressful situations - it will only make things harder.

2. Be as reasonably selfish as you can - look out for number one.

3. Read up on the illness and medication to get familiar with why it’s happening and what you need to do to fix it.

4. Don’t do anything you don’t want to or that will make you uncomfortable.

5. Do anything that makes you feel happy inside.

There is a book that I’ve recommended to as many people as I can, its called \"Depressive Illness - Curse of the strong\" by a Dr Tim Cantopher and was recommended to me by my counsellor.....best thing since sliced bread in my eyes as it has helped me understand so much about why im feeling this way. If you're not a reader then no worries, just do what you can for now to relax.

Sorry to waffle on, hope some of my babble helps you in any way mate.

Have a great bank holiday

All the best.

Hi Rob.Hi HT.Wise words HT.I am not going to waffle on as I am in a bad place at the mo and really not feeling myself.I just felt the need to let you know Rob that you must keep posting and reading as we all listen and know what you are gong through.Take care.YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. :wink: P xxx

Hi Rob,

I too would like to welcome you to this site. You will never be alone on here so keep on posting

I,m in a bad place at the moment but I felt I had to welcome you as I too have noone to talk to about my illness as my parents dont understand.

I bought the book that Hightower recommended and it has been an inspiration to me and now I understand more about how I am feeling and why.

Please dont give up as we are all here for one another,

post soon xx

NikkiM

ps. Hi Pinky, Hi HT xx

hi Rob,

sound advice from HT. :D

i've a long history of recurrent major depression (it's genetic) im just coming out of a really bad episode, the worst i've had for at least 10 years :? but im finally on the roller coaster ride to recovery again, due to being on fluoxetine for over 3 months now, it's 'one step forward and two steps back' at the moment, but heh, thats the nature of the beast, it's to be expected, but its only a few weeks ago i was ready and very close to 'turning the lights out' permanently !!!!!! :shock:

your spot on about the booze Rob, been there, done that, its 110% certainty that booze will agrevate the depression, alcohol IS a depressant as HT. said, its time to be selfish, it's time to look after number one Rob, no ifs or buts, depression is a very serious severe PHYSICAL ILLNESS, make no mistake :wink: it took you quite some time to get as poorly as you obviously are at the moment and im afraid its gonna take a long time to FULLY recover :? but recover you will, i assure you, give your body time to heal, fighting this evil indiscriminate illness is NOT the way to go, to an extent you have to go with it to make a speedy recovery, its hard to do i know,but if you had broken legs, you wouldnt be trying to run around the park with them would you ??? no, you'ld take ya meds and rest to let them heal, then you'ld stand, then walk, then run, its the same thing with depression i assure you, take your time, dont do too much, be realistic in setting goals and above all try not to feel guilty, remember, if you had those broken legs, would you feel guilty about not being able to walk/run ???? hmmmmmmmm, i thought so :wink:

anyhooooooos, cheers to a speedy recovery, you're on the right track Rob :D

cheers,

Ken~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :cheers: :rainbow:

Hi everyone...gotta say, you all just had me in tears!!

i know exactly how your feeling rob, im feeling the same right now..ive had to leave uni too (which in my opinion only served to tip me over the edge) and all i do, is hang around the house, not wanting to do anything or see anyone....its soo hard when you feel like people dont understand, my parents do all they can for me, but i always feel like they just dont get it, an that taking me shopping isnt going to solve the problem...im not 14 anymore, im 22, i cant be made happy with shoes!!!!

right now, im feeling really down just because its a nice sunny day out, an i so want to be out enjoying myself like i would have been before the depression struck, but i just cant face it...an that makes me feel worse, its like a vicious circle!!

i do agree with hightower. counselling did me the world of good...it made me understand things about myself and my behaviours that i didnt even realise...an recognising those behaviours is the first step to changing them...however, my counsellor has been off work sick for over a month now so i havent had any sessions and it shows, i feel ive started to slip back into how i was....how dare counsellors be ill! hehe :D

anyway, ive ranted...just wanted you to know rob, that i feel exactly the same as you..your def not alone in this!

rach xxx

Hello again everyone, I am truly gobsmacked at the advice and genuine compassion shown towards me, I did not expect any replies to be honest and to read through what everyone has said has moved me, what a wonderful forum this is.

I seriously considered going to counselling earlier this academic year when I was finding life difficult at uni, but ended up just quitting and hoping that the stress of my final year and dissertation etc would help me and I could go back next year with a clear head. I think I would find it very difficult to go though as I am a very quiet and withdrawn sort of person, I find it dificult to share any information especially regarding my feelings. However, I will give it some definate consideration if I am still feeling too low and I think that the meds aren't working too well. I have also researched the book that you recommended and it got very positive reviews, I will definately try to pick it up next time I am out in town.

I will also take on board what Hightower and Psychochief said in regards to being more selfish and ensuring that I am happy and content, I am usually swayed rather easily and often end up doing something that makes me unhappy just to please others, I suppose that this will have to change.

Finally, it was extremely bizzare to read your post Rachel as it is exactly how I am feeling, even to the extent that I could not go out on sunday with all of my friends in the sun due to being miserable and paranoid, this was what convinced me to post my original message, I was just that fed up. I am also just hanging around the house and really only seeing my flatmates and occasionly my family when I go home and not interacting with anyone else which isn't good.

It feels good to post my thoughts and it makes me feel a little better knowing that I have been able to do so and not just bottle everything up like I usually do.

I would like to again thank everyone that has helped me and offered me advice, I wish everyone good luck in their recovery and hopefully things will get better for everyone.

Regards Rob Lee.

Rob,

can sympathise / empathise. Went through a similar thing at Uni although MANY years ago. Also found myself out of work again last year.

I have found that geting involved in charity work has helped me big time. Some how doing something for people in a worse situation helped me deal with things. Also got me out of the house and stopped me sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Try some of the homeless charities. They are always looking for people to help out with meals etc.

Best of luck mate. You will prevail!

Please all of you have the confidence that has made you all write to go back to the doctors and say I have tried this drug for 6 weeks its not working

Shout if you have too maybe they will listen then

There are a lot of this type of drug and 1 of them will suit you sometimes you have to find it the hard way

By the way I am a 55 year old mother whos son has gone through your experiences He tried 4 different drugs until he got the right one

That was when he told me!!!

Please your parents aren't aliens and we do love you but if we dont know how can we listen

Thankfully rob youve reached out and we will all try to listen

You are never alone

Hi Rob,

I'm new to the forum and have been reading through older posts and really identify with what you were saying.

I think my depression really started when I began Uni (which is 6 years ago now) and I've been in denial ever since. I was ok in the first year, but things went severely downhill in my second and my third was pretty much a write-off, meaning that I ended up with a 3rd class degree when I was predicted a 2:1... I've beaten myself up about it ever since. I also spent nearly a year unemployed and my self-esteem has hit rock bottom.

I'm finally facing up to things and trying to tell myself that things went wrong because I was/am ill, not because I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve anything good, so I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone and that I'd be happy to share with you if you want.

Take care

Carrie