Fluoxetine is working

Hi Lauri1967, 18 years of mild depression must be tough. I know the fear of not ever feeling normal again ! That fear had last for two months in my case . I remembered for two months I was immersed in a dark tunnel, my vision and hearing is kind of blocked from outside world. I was hopeless at that time and my mind was telling me to just give up and finish my life. But I did not. I fight. I didnt give up. No matter how real the fear was. Now I am recovering . I am starting to feel normal again. Give it some time. The brain and nerves need time to heal. Two months from now, you will be like me, everything will be brighter again.

Peter

Peter,

I've read your comment about racing thoughts being gone now. That would be WONDERFUL!

When you say racing thoughts, what do you mean? I wake up each morning with my mind racing. I am constantly afraid of having a panic attack. I worry about being alone and having a panic attack. I know that the cause of my anxiety is fear, the fear of panic attacks. 

I feel that my depression is caused by this fear. If I knew I would never have a panic attack again my world would be a much brighter place. 

Do you or anyone reading this have panic disorder and agoraphobia?

Hi lauri1967, yes, serious panic attack when im at shopping malls. By racing thoughts, I meant negatively obsessively thinking that I have certain disease, browsing the net and matching my symptoms to those terminal diseases, and thinking that I will die. It was a mental breakdown. So terrified. Think back, I was so abnormal at that time.

Lauri this is almost exactly where I am right now.  My panic attacks and anxiety are the worst in the morning hours.  I hate how convincing they are.  It's so easy to take observations you have or facts and then immediately begin to assign meaning to them and before you know it you are off to the races and you've convinced yourself something tragic is happening.

I have two panic attacks as of late:  my most common is I'm going to lose my job because of how my performance has been impacted due to all of this and the fact my employer suggested I take a medical leave.  The other is I found out yesterday I need an outpatient surgery next week.  I have never been the kind of person who got nervous about surgery or the need/thought of it but for some reason I am almost terrified of having it next week and it's fairly minimally invasive.  My thoughts around all of this just run crazy.  

Reading your post reminded me I'm not alone.  I started day 15 of my Fluoxetine yesterday.  I was doing slightly better... but last night and today I feel like I've taken one step forward and two steps backward.  I know a lot of it has to do with the news yesterday about the surgery, but sure would be nice of the prozac would start to work more effectively, especially right now.  I want to retreat into my bedroom this morning.

I know that I have been here before and came out the other side! Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, not worried and afraid. 

I keep reminding myself that this will get better! It is simply anxiety, not a death sentence! 

I've been listening to a 30 minute clip on You Tube called-  Releasing Negative Thoughts  Spoken Affirmations for a peaceful, calm, positive mind, by Jason Stephenson.  It really helps! 

I love that you said "thinking back" that to me reassures me that there is hope! 

Are you able to go to shopping malls now? 

Hi Lauri1967,

Yes. I am no longer anxious when I go to shopping malls. I can stay in malls, supermarket, for hours, without panic. I can eat a meal in a restaurant normally . During the time when I was really sick, I couldnt even sit down in a restaurant for 30 mins . I was really freaked out. Now no more issue. However, my mood is still not fully normal yet, I still have some moody days where I feel frustrating.

Hi kevin01347

When are u having your outpatient surgery?

You're not alone. I too have worries about my job performance and sometimes miserable thoughts about something really bad is going to happen. Sometimes when I have no better way to handle myself, I just take a walk and do some breathing exercise.

Thanks peter88910

Surgery is Tuesday afternoon.  Thanks for sharing about your work.  My performance was slipping about a month ago.  I could see myself making mistakes -- my focus wasn't there.  I'm told it was the depression and anxiety.  My boss is the one who suggested I take a medical leave which I am half way through.  I keep telling myself my boss wouldn't have suggested medical leave if she didn't support me, but the crazy thoughts that I won't have a job to go back to still race through my mind.  Regardless, I had to take this leave.... I couldn't go on the way I was.

Today my anxiety is a bit more in check.  I still am feeling nervous with random thoughts, but for some reason I am able to realize those thoughts aren't logical or rational.

I've been using breathing exercises too, especially to help me relax.  I think what has me so surprised is how irrational I am at times, but it feels completely rational in the moment.  After I am able to gather myself, I can see that how I was feeling and thinking are less likely -- especially when thinking something really bad is going to happen.

Peter,

I cannot thank you enough for your post! I am so looking forward to feeling well again! May I ask what dose ended up working for you? 

Hi kevin01347

Same thing here, I was unable to concentrate and made mistakes at work during my worst days. I had an outpatient eye surgery during my depression days for a cataract formed in my eyes. That blurry vision contributed a lot to my anxiety depression. It's good that you are taking a leave.

I am sure your outpatient surgery will be fine. Your list of worried items will reduce after the surgery.

Today I had a good day. I hope every day will be like this.

Peter

Thanks Lauri,  I will check it out.  I have therapy this morning and plan to talk about my negative thoughts and fear.

I was on floxutine40mg for 14yrs for some reason they stopped working . Since in the last three mths I've been on two different ones ( Mirtazapine and sertraline) neither of them where any good for me Mirtazapine did nothing all apart help me sleep. Sertraline really bad side effect so gp took me off of them. I'm starting back on floxutine 10mg in two days so if it OK if would like to know how you are getting on and also I'll post my daily post . And good luck.

Peter88910.

Just read that you were on floxutine and then went on to sertraline.( Zoloft) I didn't get on with these too. But before these I was on Mirtazapine but neither of these were good. I'm going back on to Floxutine 10mg in two days time. But tapering off Mirtazapine at the same time scary I know! Did you get any side effects starting back on floxutine pls. When I took sertraline they were really really bad hence for the Dr changing them.

Kind regards clem clem.

Hi how are you feeling now after your switch from Mirtazapine to floxutine. I'm on day one and today I've been really depressed. I'm a bit like you I was on floxutine40mg for 14yrs but started to feel unwell with them. Depressed and anxiety was bad. I just want to know how your doing it such a horrible thing to experience in life ..