Freaking out!
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I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks in NJ with my boyfriend and I am literally freaking out!!!! Sorry in advance for the long post I just want everyone to understand the background before they can give me any sort of advice.
*Background : I suffer from panic disorder. I was afraid to leave my house at one point. I was doing CBT and my therapist suggested I go on Zoloft. I was on Zoloft for 2 years and it was a miracle drug for me. I did things I never thought I could aka traveling to PA and Upstate NY (I live in Brooklyn, NY). Althought I had the help of Xanax also. I get so much anxiety when traveling, I take a Xanax and I feel nothing. BUT the last time I took a xanax I got very sick and ended up sitting in 711 bathroom for hours. (I didnt eat anything before taking it idk if that has anything to do with it). Now I'm all freaky about taking it again. I don't want to get sick from it again.
Anyway- My doctor weaned me off of Zoloft, I was at 25 mg then went down to 12.5 then I stopped. It was over a month of tappering. I went into withdrawal. I was sick as a dog. I couldn't leave my house again due to my out of control anxiety. Back to square 1. I went back on Zoloft and I have been on for a month now, finally the side effects have subsided. I feel much better. However, I do get a little panicky from time to time. My doctor suggested increasing half a dose to make it 37.5 as opposed to the 25 I am taking. I'm afraid. I don't want bad side effects again. The last month has been HELL.*
I am not sure what to do. I know my boyfriend is going to to p*ssed if I miss this wedding. Well not p*ssed but disapointed because he doesn't really understand my problems but he does try and understand. He's just going to be his encouraging self with his "you've traveled before you can do it again" I appreciate it and all but its not helping me right now.
I am barely able to sit and hang out with my friends at the moment because of my anxiety. The Zoloft is working but I do think I need to go up half a dose as the doctor suggested. BUT if I do that- I probably will miss the wedding due to side effects (all I want to do is sleep). I am JUST getting close to my normal life again I really don't want to take steps back again with increasing my dose.
What do I do?!
Please. Any advice is appreciated!!!!
Btw sometimes idk if I would be able to get by if it wasn't for this forum.
People helped me through my withdrawal and my start up side effects.
It is so comforting having people I can go to who understand what I'm going through. <3 !>3 !>
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