Frightened again
Posted , 4 users are following.
Monday and Tuesday I had made huge progress. My medication seemed to be working and I felt like myself again..my anxiety eased off a lot and I could think clearly and rationally - especially as the woozy sensation and head/ear pressure was reducing since using my medication.
I started to feel positive and now I'm going backwards again 
I caught a virus this week which made my ears feel worse and it brought back the woozy sensation - which did make my anxiety stir, but I tried to keep it at bay.
For a few days now I've been getting itchy at night - my whole body itches and I get little bumps. I put it down to the fact I was relaxing but then last night the itching was very bad and it is still there again today.
I had a look to see if I could use anything - but all that comes up are brain tumours. Brain tumours seem to be the cause of everything ... And now I'm frightened again.
I'm trying to tell myself that it's far more likely to be anxiety/new medication or even my new washing powder (I haven't used this brand in a long time and also I don't believe my washing machine is rinsing items as well as it could,) I tell myself all these other factors are far more likely and yet i feel myself panick and I'm on the verge of running to my doctor AGAIN. I have been so many times this year...
I have a follow up appointment in a week to review the medication I was given, but the panick is back everything suddenly seems like symptoms all pointing to one thing.
The people around me try and reason with me, they tell me that nine months on I wouldn't just be itching or feeling woozy... I'm trying desperately to get back to the mindset I was in on Tuesday morning...
I hope people don't mind me posting so much I don't really know what else to do.
0 likes, 10 replies
Howll Sillymop
Posted
Have you considered the itching could just be a heat rash? When I'm anxious I get hot and clammy, and as I usually get anxious in bed it often happens in the night. That combined with being in a warm bed causes my skin to feel prickly and itchy. Honestly it's likely there's nothing to worry about.
Sparkly40 Sillymop
Posted
Never apologise for posting good we are all here to support one another, there will be good days and you will also have not such good days, but when you are having a blip, try and think of Monday and Tuesdays and how good you felt, don't be too hard on yourself, days like this may happen, stay strong.
helen20833 Sillymop
Posted
Hi Mopsy,
Firstly, no one should ever apologize for posting their worries as and when they arise and if that's frequently then so be it
The purpose of the Forum is, it's our place, where we go when we have new symptoms, new or old fears or even just for reassurance.
We are all here to give/receive help and to support each other.
And I must say everyone does an amazing job
Itching is quite common and annoying when you have AD. But searching in your mind for a reason won't stop it.
Unless you had a specific allergy ( unlikely ) just accept that you itch and it will calm down. By thinking the washing machine isn't rinsing thoroughly you are literally feeding your fear
Helen
Sillymop helen20833
Posted
Thank you, Helen. It is much better now but my woozyness/pressure is worse. I can feel in my chest that my anxiety is heightened again, I know I have been poorly and should just accept this will worsen my ears - but the what ifs come back...I'm frightened it will only get worse. I'm even worried my medication is making me feel poorly. I am just trying to relax and accept that I feel unwell and that is is just a bug... That this will make my ears worse...but I am frightened that when I got for my follow up appointment they will send me for tests...I don't know what they will be and I don't know what they will find
...so you can see the pattern of me spiralling lol
helen20833 Sillymop
Posted
Hi Mopsy,,
You are boxing yourself into panic by thinking worse case scenarios
What if? You cannot and must not life life like that, honey. All you do is pile fear upon fear
What if it's icy outside and I fall and break a leg? better stay in then!
What if I'm in the car and I have a crash? Better never get in a car then.
Or the bus might crash!
I haven't got headache! It's a brain tumour!
I haven't got chest tension due to anxiety! It's a heart attack!
I haven't got a tummy upset/bowel upset from Anxiety or a virus! It's Cancer!
Endless, endless thoughts of manifestations of serious diseases all ignited by senseless fear
Negative/ Negative. Negative
Much of coping/overcoming AD is about dealing with the here and now. Never mind what happened yesterday/last week/ last month
We cannot change that
Never mind tomorrow or next week. Where's the sense in dreading your follow up appointment? In imagining the GP will decide, all of a sudden, that you are seriously ill and need tests?
Had that been of concern he would have diagnosed/ dealt with any concerns he had at that time
You have to learn to live in that moment, so to speak. This is today. This is your life, here, now.
You are poorly. Your meds will deal with that. There might be a few unpleasant side-effects but the meds will heal you so ride it out
Being negative as opposed to positive is an open invitation for AD symptoms to wash all over you
Sillymop helen20833
Posted
You are right, Helen. If people thought I needed further treatment or emergency tests then they would have done so by now... I have never been to an ear nose and throat specialist and I didn't know what to expect
so I assumed this would include tests.
My itching has gone off, now... I must be still very anxious because this, combined with my ears being bad tipped me over the edge again and I mustn't let that happen...
At the moment my ears are bad - they feel 'full' as if blocked but I can hear fine (this is something they keep doing ,) and they feel as if they are being stretched inside. It gives me a pressure sensation around my eyes and forehead and makes me feel like I am walking on a boat ..but the cold will have made this worse... As will my anxiety (it did so earlier this morning.) if it cleared the other day then it will again. I need to be patient and stop expecting the worst or returning to old brain tumour ground.
helen20833 Sillymop
Posted
Hi Mopsy,
Sounds like sinus problems
My son ( adult now, lol ) has sinus problems. I just phoned him to inquire and he said his symptoms match yours
Most unpleasant
But nothing there to frighten you
In fact, quite commonplace
I had a friend, many years ago, who had a brain tumour. The symptoms were specific to that problem and easily identified by her GP. She was immediately dispatched to the hospital and admitted for tests, to verify the suspected tumour
It was removed and yes, she's still alive and kicking to this day
Got married, had kids and no further problems
I told you there was concerns with my son, remember?
He too was immediately sent to the hospital and endured hour upon hour of intensive testing.
For which I and he are eternally grateful.
The point of me reiterating this is, GP's are not fools. They know what to look for. The slightest suspicion of anything untoward and they act
You'll be okay.
Try a bath, the steam inhalation eases congestion. Other than that a blob of Vicks Vapour rub dispersed in a bowl of boiling water. Place a towel over you head and bend over the bowl, breathing in and out slowly
Helen
Sillymop helen20833
Posted
Thank you Helen. You're so kind and helpful and your advise is always so good. You seem to be very clued into people and can identify their reasons behind doing things. I think your son is very lucky to have you. I wish I knew you!
helen20833 Sillymop
Posted
Aw shucks
Thank you honey. That was a lovely thing to say to me !
Sillymop helen20833
Posted
You're welcome
I will let you know things go 
x