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Genital Herpes.... HELP! :(

Posted , 3 users are following.

jessb1738
jessb1738

Hi everyone!

After reading the forums on this site for weeks ive finally decided to sign up to contribute and see what everyone else has to say. 

 I was seeing a boy for around 6 months... we had no sexual contact until i had seen him for a while and we was comfortable with each other. So one night we had sex unprotected ( bad idea i know ) but i assumed there was nothing wrong with that as many normal people do have unprotected sex... the next morning i woke up fine nothing was wrong. Around 4-5 days later i found it really painful to wee and decided to take a look as i had never felt this before. I noticed around 4 ulcer looking bumps around my vagina.. freaking out i decided to google everything and couldnt work out what was wrong. I took myself to a GUM clinic a doctor took a look then diagnosed with me with genetial herpes. Unknowingly i had no idea what this virus was, how it would affect me etc. Soon as i got home i read up on the web and saw so many negative posts about HSV2. I cried for weeks and felt so worthless, how could someone give this to me and change my life forever? And i had no choice in the matter whatsoever... It was so hard to believe that one night has now changed my life. To begin with i felt so angry and upset that the boy had never informed me that he had the virus. So i messaged him after being diagnosed informing him that i had HSV2.. he's first reaction was that is not from me. I know fullwell it was from him i have not had any sexual contact with anyone else this year i had sex with him then boom... I see this painful ulcers on my vagina. He continued to deny it was him that had it and gave it to me for around 2 months, i just needed closure and atleast an apology from him.

Around a month ago i had spoken to him again for him to finally admit that he has the virus!... But before that i had since been dating a guy who was so kind and we got on really well!.. All seemed good but in the back of my mind telling him about herpes was all i could think about.

A drunken night out lead to me having sex with the new guy before telling him about the condition. It drove me insane i had to tell him... his reaction was awful. I understand he was annoyed i hadnt notified him before we had sexual contact but some of the things said were so nasty and knocked my confidence to an all time low. I cried non stop for days, quit my job, couldnt even tell my friends and even considered suicide. I had never felt so down before and this brought on an outbreak.

This was 2 months ago... I still dred having to tell a future partner about my condition especially after i had been rejcted the first time. I try to be positive about things but it is so diffcult!

I would just like to know how anyone else is coping with it? how did you tell non infected partners? have you been rejected? how to deal with it? i have so many questions i feel i need answering.....

Thank you to anyone who reads this forum apologises i know it is a long essay!!!! xxx

 

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • keisha82256
    keisha82256 jessb1738

    Posted

    it was wrong having sex with him without telling him. his reaction was out of anger. Imagine how you felt when you found out that some guy gave u herpes without informing you about the infection. If you know that you can't control your actions when you are drunk maybe it's high time you reflect on your drinking behaviour to avoid risking other people.

    As for informing future partner, i guess you just have to accept that there is a possibility for rejection i think especially with young men. I think people are not willing to risk being with hsv2 partner unless if maybe the relationship is serious. But if you pray to God he will find a way where there seems to be no way.

    • jessb1738
      jessb1738 keisha82256

      Posted

      i know it was sad thank you very much for your response i appreicate it xx
  • keisha82256
    keisha82256 jessb1738

    Posted

    I know how hard it is for you. I want you to know that you are not alone. I know what you are going through. I wish you the best
  • Malvina1
    Malvina1 jessb1738

    Posted

    I know how you feel. I was seeing someone who lied to me about having it and although we had sex with a condom, it slipped off one day and that was that. He had stopped talking to me and I was fine with that cuz I was kind of over it already and then I started seeing another guy and we were getting serious. We had sex a few times with and without condoms and one day I noticed these itchy bumps and small sores and I got them checked and the dr said it might be herpes. I was mortified, especially because I was getting more serious with the new guy and we had had sex already. The idea of telling him and the affect it would have on my life from then on drove me into an awful depression. When the results confirmed it was herpes I had to bite the big one and tell him. He was shocked and understandably frazzled but he took it quite well and we are still together 2 years later. We have our issues and sometimes I wonder if we can make it work due to certain circumstances and the idea that the next guy I meet will have to know about me scares me so bad. I keep saying I'll never date again if my relationship now doesn't work out but you never know. It's hard, but you will find someone who will see past it and will handle it more maturely than others. Just the idea of people knowing in general is so hard. If only it didn't carry the stigma that it does. Good luck! You'll be ok. smile
    • jessb1738
      jessb1738 Malvina1

      Posted

      so what boy do you think you got the virus from? how did you tell him? what did you say? thats all im worried about is having to tell someone obviously ive learnt my lesson and plan to inform all partners before any sex now .. How do you guys take precuation now? has he caught it? ... Thank you for your reply i am very grateful cheesygrin xx
    • Malvina1
      Malvina1 jessb1738

      Posted

      Well....it was very very hard, I almost started to hyperventilate. It's funny because he kept asking me what was wrong and askingng me if I was in love with someone else. "Are you in love with Yessie?" That's his lesbian neighbor. I wish that was the case. But I swear it was the hardest thing I've ever had to tell anyone. Breaking up with my ex husband was easier than that. I can't remember now exactly how I told him but I just remember crying and telling him I tested positive for herpes. He never made me feel bad about it, he never judged me. I asked him if he ever noticed anything but he said no. I know it was from the guy before him because he once asked me if I had noticed anything "down there" and I hadn't. We don't take precautions to be honest. It is what it is at this point. He hasn't noticed anything himself so he's probably a carrier. He took everything well braid he loves me but like I said, we have been having issues and I dread having to have to tell the next guy. I don't want to have to. I think I'll just stay single.
    • keisha82256
      keisha82256 Malvina1

      Posted

      You contracted herpes from your first guy for symptoms too only show up after u've had sex with your current guyI think the chanboth protectes and unprotected sex with your new guy. I heard that the chaces of catching herpes with condom slipping off are low, but it's still possible though. I'm trying to say, Don't be too quick to judge. Yes you might have contracted herpes from your first guy, but it's also possible that your current boyfriend might have given it to you. Maybe he is assymptomatic and not aware he has it. If it's type 1, it could be from oral sex. most people have oral herpes with no aymptoms.
    • keisha82256
      keisha82256

      Posted

      sorry about my typos. i meant symptoms only showed up after both protected and unprotected wex with your current bf.
    • Malvina1
      Malvina1 keisha82256

      Posted

      the only reason I think it was the first guy was because he actually told me he had something. But he claimed it wasn't an STD. It was just these bumps that appear and kind of hurt and then he up and disappears? Stops talking to me altogether? He just didn't want to be straight with me.
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