Giving up

Posted , 9 users are following.

I have been discharged from hospital after 15months. I've had 3 courses of ECT with little effect and been on every type of Antidepressant, CBT, etc. I have had a great consultant psychiatrist throughout. I was on Mirtazapine, Venlafaxine, Zoplicone,Ferrous Fumarate and Diazepam. I know I shouldn't but I have stopped taking all of them. I am living with a relative because my family don't want me at home and my husband wants a separation and is selling the home. I am now suffering withdrawal symptoms. Dizziness, lack of appetite and all the usual depression symptoms isolation, lack of interest, anxiety as well as the symptoms from ECT-memory loss, forgetfulness. I give up.

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    I don't know about the others but withdrawal symptoms from Venlafaxine make you feel absolutely horrendous so no wonder you're feeling so awful. You're going through such alot all at once you're allowed to not feel okay but you've not given up on yourself yet so don't let all that hard work go to waste. I know it must be unbearable right now but this is permanent even if you can't see anything improving just yet, it will. Always here to listen

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    • Posted

      Thanks Yasmine. I just have so much swimming around in my head it's unbearable and it's gone on so long I just don't see the point in GP visits, CPN appointments, psychiatrist meetings or meds. Nothing has made any impact. I've hurt so many people with my behaviour and they must be tired of it too.

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    • Posted

      Hi 26Mciver - as Yasmine writes, venlafaxine is a dreadful drug to come off. Swooping sensations like your guts are falling, brain zaps and joints jumping like electric shocks. Cold turkey withdrawal adds to that. Reckon you should not give up though - what else can you do? It's a seek and destroy mission that continues until you find the right balance for you. Whatever you decide we are here for you.

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    • Posted

      I understand it must feel like a waste of time to keep going back & fourth but you've done amazingly well so far & you must be exhausted but there's so much more fight left in you & your life is worth it your happiness is worth it. People that love you & care about you will only want to see you get better so don't even worry about how you've been just look after yourself x

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  • Posted

    Hi this is not permanent. You are strong. Diane
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  • Posted

    Hi there.

    Sorry to hear you are you are going through a rough time of it just now.

    15 months is a long time in hospital. Did you get some support in the community after discharge from hospital?

    Can I ask why you have stopped all medication? You will be feeling crappy if you've stopped medication suddenly

    L x

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    • Posted

      I know it's stupid and I know it's why I feel physically I'll as well as mentally but I see no point in meds. They've done nothing to improve my Depressive state. And, if I'm totally honest I'm punishing myself for everything I've allowed to happen. Losing the life I once had. The job, family, home. I can't forgive myself.

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    • Posted

      You mustn't punish yourself.. what's happened has happened you need to try ignore the internal voice that is telling you it's your fault. It will keep you stuck and you won't move forward.

      I know it's easier said. Through mental health issues and previous drug abuse I lost my home my comfortable life and my career as a medical professional. It's all down to me. I spent a lot of time blaming myself.. I still do. I'm now stuck living off benefits choosing between food or heating in a crappy flat that is constantly cold. Unfortunately all I can do is try and get well so I can try improve my living conditions.

      You need to get well but you need help to do so. Have you any close family who understand?

      Please don't give up. I know it's easier said. I gave up last year and tried to off myself. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong in my life.. some of it was my fault.. but blaming or punishing myself just kept me trapped.

      Hopefully the cpn will offer some help.

      Keep writing of it helps. Love & Hugs

      L x

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  • Posted

    Please don’t give up. You need to go back to the dr and discuss all meds that you have been on and that you stopped suddenly.

    It is not good to stop these kinds of meds suddenly. I’m so sorry for all that you have been through. You’ve had a very rough time.

    This illness is tricky and dangerous. It can make you think that you want to leave life, but don’t let it. It is brain chemistry playing tricks with your mind.

    Please seek help immediately! Even if it means going to the hospital. Please don’t leave us. You are loved, wanted, and needed in this world. This will be your safe place. All of us have either the same illness or similar. You are always welcome here to vent, cry, or just talk out your issues 

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    • Posted

      I'm punishing myself. It's what I deserve. What I've allowed to happen is unforgivable. I see a CPN this week for the first time and I'll see my GP at the end of the week and next week I'll see my consultant. I intend telling them I've given up on the meds. Just given up.

      I know I have to work at it but I'm so so tired of it all. I put on an act for as long as I can with family and friends coz they think I'm out of hospital I'm recovering - no, it's just hospital had nothing else to offer and the hope was being with loved ones would help. I suppose being on here I can at least be honest about how I feel and not have to act.

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    • Posted

      This illness isn't your fault so why do you feel the need to punish yourself further?  If you were diabetic etc. and were on lots of meds would you stop taking them to punish yourself?  No of course you wouldn't.  This is the depression talking and you know those thoughts are false - don't you?  

      Where there is life there is hope.  Please don't give up on life as you never know what will happen in the future. Aren't you curious about your future?  x

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  • Posted

    Why have you stopped your meds?  If they were helping you then I don't get it.  Not taking them is only making your situation worse so my advice is to start taking them again.  x

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  • Posted

    Why are you punishing yourself? Why do you deserve what is happening to you right now? Please let it out, you will feel better. 

    While you were in the hospital, did their treatment for you work?

    If so, are you able to do what they did for you? Can you contact the dr that you had in the hospital and request further help outside of the hospital?

    Please don’t give up! Don’t let the depression trick you into leaving us and your family and friends. They all will hurt so bad if you leave.

    Please take the meds and give them a chance to work. It could take up to 2 weeks for them to kick in.

    If the meds are not working request for an adjustment in them.

    I am on the same meds and I get adjustments regularly.

    Please, please seek professional help now!

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