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So since the last time I've spoken to you on here I've been doing well to be honest had 2 cbt sessions went well learning about the irrational side of the brain and the logical side, breathing exercises etc. The weird feeling i described has gone I either go once a day as normal still don't feel completely empty or sometimes up to 3 if I am stressed and start worrying about it all again. But it's not persistant it varies which may point to ibs, anxiety? idk
Anyway it's weird when i do go a little bit more it's like the other bits sit up there and come later on? as they're all the same colour so I doubt my system is moving faster as It'd be yellowish?
Anyway fear time again yesterday, got home from work which i don't enjoy atm to be honest, keep thinking about work even at home and it makes me anxious i'm fine when I'm there but still it seems every friday i get this after work coincidience?
Anyway this time it was scarier anyway I went as normal after work coming out in seperate pebble type felt quite empty an hour later had a little urge went and it was yellow mucus then after that a bigger torpedo one come out could've been up there for some time? Anyway what freaked me the f out was there was two tiny bits, they were tiny bits of bright red blood in the yellowy, clear mucus!!!! so yeah today I'm freaking out again! and took 50 steps back to where i was month ago.
I've had passing mucus on it's own for years as far as I'm aware and i think had it twice over probably 3-4 years now IDK times gone that fast were the same red has been in it so it's not completely new.
There's no blood in the stool at all, just seen some in this bit of mucus which is freaking me out I'm scared it's chrohns or collitis now even though I don't have blood in my actual stool I'd pass out i think if i saw that. But I'm scared as having these increase my chance of developing my fear ten fold I can't even say the name as it just makes me tremble.
Could it be that i could've been straining previously or what? I'm convinced it still is my fear. I do need to drink allot more i only drink tea and coffee esp now it's getting colder Idk if that can cause mucus.
But what I'm worried about is i know ibs can cause mucus but not with that in it! I don't think i have hems or fissure that's why I'm even more worried. This was a one off and not completely new but it still freaks me out other than that my pattern I'd say has improved and gone back pretty much to what I was used to a the moment anyway it's just this now.
And when i did read before several people said they had this years then ended up with bc ! that's why I'm freaked out.
I need help again.
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