Great start to the week end.........................

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It was 8 months ago yesterday since my husband passed away. Had a very emotional talk with my councillor yesterday too. Still hadn't heard anything from the mental health team. come home today and i've got a letter saying sorry you didn't attend your appointment on Monday, another was booked today for 1.00. been at work all day s... day too, plus my mail arrives around 1pm anyway. Copy sent to my GP who I spoke to on /tuesday and mentioned to her i hadn't heard anything, nothing was sdaid.So now I look like a complete ignorant person for not going or contacting them. I'm am raging, I am smacking these keys hopefully I won't break them.....I''ve got a glass of wine already and going down the path of self destruct yet again....I'm crying, screaming i f... hate my life-----------------------------hopefully I will feel better after typing this. Thanks for listening..............................Sorry folks x

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    now i've had some wine I cant take any of some diazapam i suppose as i;ve got about 8 left.....@ 5mg......
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    • Posted

      plus just ot finish it off another letter addressed to my late husband. i had contacted this company last August and yes he had been removed from their mailing list. obviously not................
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  • Posted

    Hiya Tina, hope typing that made you feel better. Feel free to rant and rage on here. A www it's horrible feeling like that :-( are you doing anything at the weekend? Try to do something nice to keep occupied, will your son take you out for Mother's Day maybe. Wine and chocolate =  good xxxx
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    • Posted

      Feel a bit better  but still tense, even though i've eaten paprika pringles, chocolate and red wine, really healthy meal... I'm just so bloody annoyed as they supposedly left a message on my mobile, I didn't receive it so thats another week gone by. I know it isn't going to be an instant fix but I'm going down that slippery slope again, which frightens me. Anyway there isn't really anything I can do about it now will have to ring them Monday but a lot of people are off work next week so the chances of me getting some time off will be slim which doesn't help. Life isreally s*** today.

      Change the subject did you have a good time at the races? xx

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    • Posted

      Yes it's so frustrating, ring them Monday and give them what for! Really enjoyed watching all the racing this week... I love Ruby walsh 😀. I have actually been ok this week, proves something to focus on really helps, I spent all week reading about the horses and jockeys and really getting into it... Sure I will come crashing down soon 😞 xxx
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    • Posted

      I'm glad you had a good week, just try to remember that and not think the negative.

      Did you ever do point to point as well as the show jumping. As you did dressage that could be three day eventing. 

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    • Posted

      Yeah I do cross country too, I did a 3 day event on my old horse 😊 not a professionals one but a lower level one and came 9th out of 40 😊 and I have done a one day event, where it's showjumping, dressage and cross country all in one day, in the affiliated events, which is professionals too, but in the smallest class which is 3ft, so the professionals take their younger horses to these smaller classes.... And I came 3rd out of 40 😀 was all about 8 years ago, I do not think I am fit enough now and getting older makes us more aware of the dangers! 
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    • Posted

      I don't know how clear this will show, it's Mac doing cross country and dressage, he is a mega horse 😀 he hurt his leg and had to retire just after my dad passed away, was gutted :-( life does suck! Xx
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    • Posted

      What great pictures, you must of been very proud how well you did in your competitions especially as you have done the training yourself. You must have a lot of patience and determination. Sorry that Mac hurt his leg and had to retire, are you still able to ride him gently though. 

      Animals can be so comforting and seem to understand how you feel. I'm dog sitting tomorrow night for my daughter in laws dog so I will have company. x

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    • Posted

      Lol yes everybody calls me determined.... Nearing on obsessive! 

      No he is completely retired and not ridden at all.... A reminder that everything comes to an end :-( but he is happy eating grass all day. Ahh it's lovely being with dogs, such good company, hope that brings you some comfort 😊 the wine is kicking in so sleep time 😀 hope you sleep well xxx

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  • Posted

    I've had similar dealings with the mental health team here - useless.  You have to wait so long for an appointment too, not good enough when people need help now.  Not surprised you're upset.  

    I hope your weekend goes well .... get out for some fresh air, go walking, meet with a friend .......

    Thinking of you

    K x

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  • Posted

    Good Morning Tina,

    Paprika pringles, chocolate and red wine! Now there is an intersting combination worth trying, now you've shared!

    Perhaps we could start a what's your fave comfort food and drink section? Just to prove everyone needs a harmless distraction (or two) of a scrummy nature now and again, and why not!

    I shall fess up too then. Yesterday afternoon I had a very small erbal, 3 x 500ml bottles of real ale and half a pack of mixed fruit, with cinnamon coated milk choc nuts. We have a disused church, very important to the heritage of our town, right opposite our terraced house, in fact it is about 20 foot (our) door to church side door. Someone intends to turn it into a bar-bistro (yeh! eventually nightclub) in this a residential area. Well, some guys arrived to get in the side door and were battering and kicking it, we had to close the blinds and put on some load music! I typed a letter to the church commissioners and parochial council (bunch of f.....g profiteers) having a go!

    Well, I did not get buzzing or palpitations this time, but I was flying rather wildly so like you, Tina, I dived foor the stuff I know (in small quantities) relaxes and comforts me.

    This morning, I am busy with stuff, the sun is out, we have a Deb'm blue sky and I am hoping for a good weekend!

    I have been waiting since November to see a counsellor and ain't holding me breath! Part of my self heal therapy is looking into becoming a counsellor as firstly, there are not enough out there and I am going for a complete career change! Not going back to the daily treadmill tthat put me here.

    Hope you have nice weather this weekend and I hope you have a nice one, whatya up to?

    David x

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    • Posted

      Morning all

      Slept not too bad except the dreams are back again, have yours disappeared David? Boring stuff put washing on as can hang it outside as yes sunshine hooray. Seeing grandchildren this morning so better not lie in bed all morning. Just got text to stay away as the whole house has had sickness etc so that buggers that up. Might a s well stay in bed at least nothing can go wrong there..........😢

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  • Posted

    Made I chuckle! That there posting. STAY IN BED ITS SAFER!

    No, dreams have not gone away, although they are bearable, actually had a full on one last night, but that may be due to some lubrication!

    David x

     

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