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Haven't been on in here in a couple of years. .. Didn't really think I would be back . . .
Finding it difficult to start my message. . . On citalopram since March 2014. Never found it overly beneficial. Had a few short stints of various types of therapy in various places - always helped and then relapsed after finishing. Have been with a good therapist for 10 months or so now. I decided to stop seeing her and wean off the tablets too. . . I realise now that may have been a bit ambitious of me.
Anyways, I have always been on 20mg. I went to the health unit in my university instead of my regular GP to discuss coming off the tablets. ( I didn't like my GP's "Well I don't know!" attitude the last time I went. It was quite negative and he was stumped about what to do with me/how to advise. He also made some decisions in the past with myself and other family members that were poor. I don't feel confident or safe under his care) . . . Anyways, not ideal as the student health unit doctors weren't familiar with my history as regards me taking citalopram and my "journey" (I feel that word describes it well) with my mental health. . . I was given a plan to come off. In total, it's only 2 months of weaning time. On this very website, there is an article advising a weaning period of 6-8 months if you have been on the tablets for as long as I have .. . So perhaps this is ambitious. . . BUT the pros of just going for it are that I will be off it completely about 2 weeks before I return to university, I guess (one that I don't really care about) lower cost as I won't have to buy tablets . .. that's it really.
I will be on teaching practice (I'm a student teacher) by the end of this month. I don't want to be like I am right now (moody, indecisive, unable to focus, swinging between adrenaline-driven productivity or demotivation, tearfulness, paying unneccesary attention to detail without even being aware of it etc.). . . I don't think it's fair on the children ( and not for me either) if I start teaching practice in the current state I am in. . .
To top everything off. My Dad was diagnosed with an incurable cancer this year. (not terminal, treatable but a long and tough road of treatment, hoping for a long remission). . . He is currently undergoing the most gruelling treatment he has had to date. . . My brother recently moved out of home so it's just me and Mom at home right now. Mom is working full-time (she took time off before but decided to work now as Dad is staying overnight in hospital so there is not too much she can do). I am living at home. Just me & my Mom now. So first change - brother moved out, soon after, Dad gone to stay in hospital for this treatment (as planned). So it's all quite new. Circumstances are pretty s**t what with Dad going through what he is going through. . . Mom & I taking it in turn to visit Dad and bring him clean clothes, buy foods he asks for etc. . . . It's not easy. And it's a bit lonely being at home all day on my own mostly. And then sometimes when Mom goes to visit Dad in the evenings too. . . Or even when it's just me & Mom because that's not what we're used to . .. anyways, that was an aside to explain my current situation a bit better.
So I am thinking, I go to a new GP this week, explain my situation and my experience so far weaning off and discuss weaning off more slowly. (I still definitely want to be off these tablets for good).
I know this post has been very unstructured but that's how my thinking is right now.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this really. I guess I am hoping for support and perhaps some input from people who have weaned off citalopram before too.
All input appreciated.
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