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Have I fallen out of love or is it my depression?

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Her1972
Her1972

I have been with my bf for a little over 2 years. In the beginning it was amazing. We always say we’re soulmates and meant to be. Then we graduated from school, and I took a job that I hated and it made me depressed. Now I have a great job, but we live in such a horrible place it makes my depression worse. For a while now I have been feeling like I am falling out of love with my boyfriend. I have no interest in sex or even being touched, I never want to hang out with him, and I go home on the weekends to see my family sometimes and I honestly don’t want him to come and when I do go home I’m happy bc I’m with my family and dog. I am scared to break it off with him because I feel like I’m going to regret it if my depression ever gets better bc at one point we had an amazing life together. We are moving into a new place that’s hopefully better, and it’s going to be summer soon so we won’t be cooped up. I am so torn on what to do. I don’t know if it’s him and our relationship or all of the external factors that I hate so much. How can I tell if it’s my depression or if I actually don’t love him anymore. Please help sad 

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  • tara96740
    tara96740 Her1972

    Posted

    I know what your going threw, I’ve been there and recently I was broken up with but I believe it was my partners depression. I held on when I was so low coz I knew it was my depression, and I was happy I did. I cherished our precious memories, he treated me so good and we were happy. When I got low however I just convinced myself I didn’t love anyone or anything and I sunk, but I managed to pull threw and I was so happy. You can do that too but honestly it will take time. When your so low I would advise that you hang on just till you feel a little better and if you feel the same about him then you should break it off. Regret is an awful feeling, it’s worse than anything and it could make you plummet into a deeper depression in the end. If ye were happy before ye can be again I promise you. Don’t do what my partner did and let his depression ruin his happiness, your stronger than you know. Thinking of you. 
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  • BunnyGirl
    BunnyGirl Her1972

    Posted

    I've been struggling with this same thing as you for about three weeks now, and I've been through it before about two years ago. The first time I struggled for about 4-6 months to get fully better, this time I'm making slightly faster progress, but it takes time to get better. Depression seriously changes you, changes your brain's chemical balance. Spend a few hours researching like I did, to better understand depression, something that helps me is that "if I truly didn't love him, I wouldn't be afraid of feeling this way in the first place/I wouldn't still do loving things for him" (a little different for me cause we are married, but still)

    Feel free to respond, I would be totally willing to talk in depth about this. It helps me feel better too.

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  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 Her1972

    Posted

    Hi Her1972 - have you talked with your boyfriend about this? 
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