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Health anxiety

Posted , 4 users are following.

lisa17089
lisa17089

Omg where do I start

I've always been a worrier and started with panic attacks in my 20's. I've had lots of counselling but nothing seems to work, I was put on paroxetine and it did the job. I'm now in my 40s and suffered with anxiety off and on for years. The past few years I've been suffering with health anxiety and I'm now at an all time low. I Google my symptoms constantly sometimes over and over again on the same day. CANCER!:that's all I see. I'm now convinced I have pancreatic cancer. I've lost a stone in weight in a month and am sick with worry. I took myself off to A&E last night because I worked myself into such a state. They did lots of blood tests but everything OK. I went back to my doctors today and she's sending me for a scan more of a peace of mind thing I think. It's the losing the weight that's frea king me out, I have lots of wind and my stomach makes noises. I've Google this and it came up with pancreatic cancer. But if it's not this cancer it's another 1. I'd rather be dead than live like this, people just don't understand and laugh at me. My partnerves is sympathetic to a point but I know I must get on his nerves. He's even threatened to take the Internet out because it's an obsession. He can't possibly know how I feel because he doesn't suffer. I'm currently on proactive because paroxetine stopped working, but don't feel like it's doing me any good. This horrendous illness has zapped all the life out of me and I can't take any more. I told the doctor I was suicidal and she just said she wold refer me to see someone.I need help now! Forgot to mention my appetite isn't great at the moment either. Feeling very frightened wish I could feel normal😓😓😓

0 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • zoe4477
    zoe4477 lisa17089

    Posted

    How are you feeling today Lisa? 💖 Thinking of you xx

    • lisa17089
      lisa17089 zoe4477

      Posted

      Not great zoe. But it means a lot to me that you care. Thank you xx
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 lisa17089

    Posted

    Dont get upset by response. But think this through..you said you would rather be dead then deal with all this all the time. Is that true? It isnt. You know why because if you really felt that way you would not be so connected and so emotionally attatched to every outcome. You would have surrendered to all the anxiety attacks. Thats your answer. Pain and suffering and living is a vile outcome to all this. It really is. Some of us have ailments and anxiety co existing and its horrid. Fear is powerful! The mind is powerful! 

    Theres no way anyone who doesnt have this disorder can relate to it.lucky them. They can be compassionate..somewhat but really understand it noway. If it was possible to simulate it to the level it does escalte scientist and researchers would round the clock to figure it out. But yet the tyoical response you will here is...i know its awful but it is anxiety it is in your mind.  Hahaha no people it is in  our minds and bodies and scratching at our souls. This stuff runs very deep and intertwined in everything. 

    As cliche as this sounds dont be suicidal. If you really would rather be dead then get your mind and body in board to stop fearing all this. Dont you get if you surrender to it for real there is no fear, no emotion and it cant fire off. Picture a troll, an ugly little troll doing all this inside you. Picture that and when this crap trigger off picture him doing it then smack him down or laugh at him or whatever you can conjure up to defeat him but do not fear him. Fear feeds the troll. Dont feed the troll. There is NO worst case scenaro you have already experienced it. You want to live..then live . You want to laugh then laugh. Screw the troll.

    look at your life. You remeber a day when you thought oh my Lord this is the worst day if my life. And felt like it was. Guess what..it passed and you made it through. And you will continue to make it through everytime surrender all this. I cant convince you to get this, to understand but its the key to unlock your door to get in the other side of fear. Your happiness is there. Hold on and get therapy, learn meditation..start at the beginner level, but learn it because then you have a safe place to go when you feel overwhelmed. It is great stuff.

    feel good and good luck. 

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