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Almost a year ago I had an unprotected one night stand and since that day I have had horrific anxiety. It triggered something within me that has just destroyed my mental health.
I did actually get some concerning symptoms, like peeling skin on inner lip, itchy vagina, flu symptoms, and this was enough to send me into absolute terror.
From January until May I truly believed I was pregnant, taking pregnancy tests multiple times a week and having panic attacks in the night imagining how I was going to tell my parents even though I was 19 years old and at university.
I then moved my anxiety onto HIV and it is without a doubt the worst thing I've ever done. I went to the doctors about 4 months after my exposure and was tested for STD's but I didn't get the blood work done so still no idea if I have HIV or not.
I actually stopped worrying about HIV over the summer but that was because my mum started suffering from terrible abdominal pain and I convinced myself she was dying from bowel or liver cancer. It turns out she had gall stones and we were told that was the most likely cause at the beginning of the summer. Even still I spent June to the beginning of September planning my mum's funeral and thinking about how I was going to raise my younger brother. It is all consuming and terrifying.
After my mum was cleared I had 5 days of absolute bliss. Not a single anxious thought, no diarrhea, no raised heart beat. And then I woke up one day and was convinced I had gum disease and my hair was falling out.
I cant get to the doctors until after Christmas now which is when I will finally get tested for HIV. I'm hoping, Universe willing its a negative result, that will end my anxiety issues.
I made the dumbest decision of my life that night and it has truly wiped me of joy, peace and calmness.
Is it possible to be this triggered from just one situation?
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